Jump to content

After 2 1/2 Years of NC Could He Be Trying to Get Back Together?


Recommended Posts

I need some insight, is he trying to get back together. I am not naive, but when its happening to me I can't seem to rationalize as well.

 

Here is a little history on his contact after 2 1/2 years

 

In summary my ex contacted me after 2 1/2 years with an apology e-mail, then we spoke on the phone about a week later. It should have been a 5 minute conversation, but turned into 1 hour mostly catching up on what's going with each other's family. We agreed that we would keep each others number, but I felt that was just a polite way to get off the phone as the first two attempt to end the call after 2 1/2 years just didn't seem right and that one worked.

 

I was the dumpee so I knew I had no reason to use the number and thought he was just clearing his conscience after so long but wouldn't use it. Then today, a week after we spoke on the phone, I get a text asking me how I am doing? I responded that I was well. Then he text me and asked what was I doing? I didn't flat out say I am busy but relayed that I was out and about and would be for awhile. I asked him what was he doing, he said he was on his way to my area as he has family there. I didn't respond until 3 hours later, as I was busy, and he never responded back.

 

I don't know what he wants, does he want to be friends now or is he thinking of trying to get back together? I mean the last time we had contact before he e-mailed me the apology two weeks ago he wanted nothing to do with me. Now it seems weird that he has an interest in my life again. So I am wondering was he close to asking me to see me? The city where he was going is right next door to where I live, but I wasn't at home.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Well I wouldn't be surprised if he doesn't know himself about a getting back together scenario....but he may be trying to get a feel of meeting up with you again to 'see' what is there....aquaintance, friendship, or more.

 

Sounds like he's 'testing the waters' to see about at least rebuilding a friendship....I would take it at face value until you know more.

 

How do you feel about a possible reconciliation of friendship or more?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Well I wouldn't be surprised if he doesn't know himself about a getting back together scenario....but he may be trying to get a feel of meeting up with you again to 'see' what is there....aquaintance, friendship, or more.

 

Sounds like he's 'testing the waters' to see about at least rebuilding a friendship....I would take it at face value until you know more.

 

How do you feel about a possible reconciliation of friendship or more?

 

Very interesting, this could be a possibility, never thought of that.

 

Friendship-I really don't want to be his friend. He offered that as a pity offering when we first broke up and I could only ask well what do you want me to do if you start seeing someone else? He said we would cross that bridge when we get to it. I didn't say it but in my mind I was like no we won't I will not let myself be hurt like that and that was 2 1/2 years ago and that has not changed. We have not talked about the relationship ending so I am still rejected and I doubt I would ever want to see who he puts to the golden stamp of approval on.

 

Reconciliation- After talking to him I think he has grown and matured. So it seems like he is the improved version of his former self, which can only be good. If this were the case in how he handles life and relationship I would want to reconcile. However, I don't think I could risk getting hurt by him again so I don't know that if that were to be an option that when it really came down to it I would do it again. But then I say I can't be his friend, so I guess it is reconcile or nothing. But I would go along with the appearance of friendship to see if that is where it would go. If not then no, no friends.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hmm...I don't know your history with this man, length of relationship, nor the reason for the breakup, so I'm really shooting in the dark here....

 

but did he see you as being a pretty good girlfriend? From my own past experiences and observations of others, I noticed guys return to women who were really good to them...

 

They may have let the relationship go, experienced other situations thereafter, and realized they let a good one go. And that compounded with any life changes can spur a change of heart....whether it be to correct a wrongdoing (ending the relationship) and/or just to rekindle something that was once good in their life.

 

This could be several things, plus he may not even know exactly what it is he is seeking.

 

I just know that almost every guy I ever dated, had a relationship with, or even just an emotional connection to has reappeared in my life at one time or another simply because they remembered how good I was to them. Some wanted a relationship while others simply wanted at least a friendship- in other words, they just wanted to have me back in their life in some format.

 

So, just see how it progresses. You seem to know what you want as far how you want to be connected to him, but definitely let him do the initiating until it's more clear.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hmm...I don't know your history with this man, length of relationship, nor the reason for the breakup, so I'm really shooting in the dark here....

 

.

 

That would have helped right Together 1 1/2 years, he said he loved me and I he, we discussed marriage by 2 years, but he distanced himself and started treating me really bad right after we had this talk. He really didn't break up with me at first. He just became a really bad boyfriend, not calling, coming around, doing things we used to do together by himself, basically he tried to make me leave. He told me and made me think we were just going through a bad time, even though to me it seemed all the sudden. So I somewhat went past the bad treatment thinking I was working through it with what would be my future husband. Then after the break up he was pretty arrogant and insensitive. His reason for the breakup was he just didn't feel the same way and couldn't see himself spending the rest of his life with me. But he stayed around to get what he could get and he wanted less and less from me

 

I had to forgive him for this before he ever asked for it in order to forgive myself for allowing him to be that way to me. So now I am able to speak with him as if it never happened, but it did, I forgave, but I didn't forget what he was capable of, but I realize he seems to have grown. This would have to be proven if reconciliation was the objective. However, since I don't know I think your suggestion is right on, see how it progresses especially considering as you say he may not even know what he is seeking.

 

Thank you very much for your insight.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...