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Saying goodbye to an interesting girl


Sadman84

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For about two months I've been "talking" to a girl. She goes to college 200 miles away where I used to go. We talk every day on the phone and we've taken turns visiting each other.

 

Over the past few weeks she's been saying she is "falling" for me and all that jazz. Honestly in a perfect world I'd love to fall for her and everything work out but it just doesn't seem to.

 

When she's 200 miles away she misses me and tells me she can't wait to see me and she wants to hold my hand. But in person she acts like a total different person who just wants to be in control of the situation and prove how much influence she has over me.

 

She came into town this weekend, and I got a hotel room seeing as she is allergic to cats. We hung out with some of my friends, another couple. We went out to eat and had a good time then played drinking games. At 3 am my friends went to their room and it was just me and this girl.

 

We haven't had sex yet but we'd talked about it a little. To me at this point sex is more about trust, and she does not trust me I guess. I thought we were going to this weekend but instead she told me "no hanky panky" when it was bed time then she proceeded to undress into just panties and lay next to me. I thought she was bluffing so we started kissing but she turned me down on a few advances. She even said "i thought about getting you to a point of almost getting off, and then stopping just to be mean.

 

Comments like that make me sick to my stomach.

 

Needless to say I had trouble sleeping after that. And in the morning she was very cold to me and would not even kiss me when I asked her too. I kept asking her to do things like cuddle or watch a video with me on my phone and she would turn me down.

 

I am about to call her and tell her things are over. It hurts cause I'm so used to talking to her all the time and looking forward to seeing her but I feel like the time has come, honestly, I don't see how us dating any longer could benefit either one of us.

 

Here is what I'm going to say.

 

 

----------

 

I’m gonna talk to you real quick

 

This weekend was an eye opener for me

 

Who you are when you are away and who you are in person are not the same person and that doesn’t sit well with me

 

I’m not looking for a girlfriend, but I do enjoy dating people.

 

I choose who I want to date, and who i want to keep dating, and I’m sure just like for you, the games and chase is what gets me interested, but there comes a point when I’m more interested in a girl for her, instead of the chase.

 

After however long we’ve been talking for and the fact that I understand the dynamics of women and that it feels to feel like you’re in control. I’m the same way.

 

I think I reached the point of wanting to get to know you some time ago but you haven’t really delivered. After this weekend I realized this is going no where, at some points this weekend you were down right rude.

 

I haven’t been talking to you as an ego booster, and I can’t boost up your self esteem anymore at my own expense.

 

When two people really click, it is possible for them both to feed off of and grow their self esteems without hurting the other person. If its done right and they both have good intentions its possible, but what we have is nothing like that.

 

I think you’ve been a great friend and I’ve enjoyed spending time with you but that time is over now.

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The end bit's a bit nice! But, that's probably who you are. If you feel comfortable with it, then i don't see the harm in it. You have been clear, honest and respectful.

 

She sounds a bit immature to me and really selfish. It sounds like she is using you to boost her ego, and you're right, that is NOT love! Congratulations for recognising that, and not being another victim who thinks the scraps some people throw, actually qualify as love.

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It's done. she said she agreed and then said that she had already told me how she felt and if i dind't believe her then there was nothing she could do.

 

I defriended her on facebook to keep me from spying on her, and she sent me two texts about it already saying it was ridiculous that i un-friended her and that it was upsetting.

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She responded via text today

 

"I am not strong enough to let this go. I refuse to let go of something that I think is real"

 

I came back after much thought with "You are so scared of outcomes that you want control of 99.9% of the situations in your life. But we won't ever work like this because I do not fall under that category. I am not scared of outcomes"

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She responded via text today

 

"I am not strong enough to let this go. I refuse to let go of something that I think is real"

 

I came back after much thought with "You are so scared of outcomes that you want control of 99.9% of the situations in your life. But we won't ever work like this because I do not fall under that category. I am not scared of outcomes"

 

If it was real, she would of threw her insecurities out of the window! You did the right thing in letting her go. Bravo! You're one of the select few of us who are willing to try to make a relationship happen regardless of the insecurities and hurt that we had harbored within ourselves from the past.

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