Living in the closet

[sweetguy88]

Hi I am Jake I am Bisexual I havent told anyone parents or friends and I feel like I cant tell anyone. Is it wrong for me to live in the closet my whole life ?

[sidehop]

There's absolutely nothing wrong with that...some people wait until they are comfortable. Some keep it to themselves, it's what makes you happy

[Wager]

Hello, Jake (One of my all-time favorite names, by the way!). You are not wrong to retain your personal business as, well, your personal business - but I would worry a bit that you might feel lonesome or judged or other, negative aspects to managing this as a secret for a life-long course.

 

May I ask, why it is you feel you cannot tell anyone? And could it be that you, perhaps, have not found the best people to hear you, so that it is more the case of not having the right people to tell than not to be able to tell anyone, ever?

 

Best of luck to you!

[ceez]

maybe not your whole life, I'm waiting until I'm financially stable. you have to live your life and not ruin it to make someone else happy.

[greywolf]

You don't need to explain your life to anyone. Do what makes you happy.

[FathomFear]

OP, I notice that you've been posting a similar question for almost two years now --

 

This is obviously something that is nagging you, so I think you should make a plan to overcome it once and for all. There's nothing wrong with being gay or bi, and you'll likely feel liberated once you have this behind you once and for all.

 

Do you have even one person in your life that you could confide in?

[hexaemeron]

I was miserable in the closet. I am not miserable out of it. That's just my experience though.

[MitchF]

Unless you're really attractive or outgoing or something, it doesn't really change much.

 

i should of came out A BILLION!! years ago then

[hexaemeron]

i should of came out A BILLION!! years ago then

 

Ah, youth.

[nltsyc]

Jake, it is really what works for you. If you are comfortable with it and want to then come out of the closet. If not then that is ok too?

 

I am in the process of coming out (telling a close friend this Wednesday) so I can sort've understand that dilemma of should/shouldn't I come out.

 

What it came down to for me was: Can I continue doing what I have been doing? Am I happy this way? Am I being true to myself?

 

I posted about my question and got some really great help.

Here is the link. Please take a look if you might think it is useful

 

 

[sweetguy88]

I am just afraid of when I see a guy i dont know how to tell him I like him ? and telling him im bi ?

[JadeSmith]

Jake you come out on your own time. Don't let anyone pressure you or anything. I'm a straight female, but have had 2 friends in my life that are gay and it was extremely hard for them to come out. They were miserable living in the closet, and life is much easier now once they're out.

 

So in my own opinion, I would personally advise you to accept yourself and come out. Even if it's just one person that is close to you...you'll feel so much better.

 

But again, do this on your own time. Don't be pressured.

 

Now when you say " Is it wrong for me to live in the closet my whole life ?" then that's when I get concerned.

You don't want to hide yourself from the world you're whole life. Do you know how hard that will be? You have got to be YOU and do what makes YOU happy, and by lying to yourself constantly and those around you, you won't be happy sweetie. It will only pile up and come back to haunt you.

 

So therefore, don't waist your life away by hiding yourself, come out on your own time, but do come out eventually.

[looker]

What do you mean unless you are attractive, it does not change much? Just curious.

[looker]

Jake, I am 33 now and have been in the closet forever. I have been worried about this since I realized that I was bi/gay...or whatever I am. You are 20 (I think). My feeling has been that I dont want to tell anyone. I thought it would go away. It doesnt. The problem that I have had is that I feel like I am living a lie to everyone including myself. I have told 2 folks but really more than that know we just dont talk about it. I am not dating anyone girl or guy. That is another problem. Every one of my friends are married and having kids and forever it has just been "me" alone. I am sure that they are like, Why do I not have a girl. They know why deep down I think but have not talked to 99.9 % of them about it. But, the point is that for me it is eating me up inside. I tend to get depressed, and down on myself which causes me to drink. But after a weekend of boozing, Sunday is the worst day....general hungover and depressed worse...so dont do that if you can avoid it. Anyway, have you been experiencing pressure in living a lie. For me its exausting to live this way but coming out is VERY hard....I am experiencing that too. PM me if you have other questions, even though I am older it does not get easier, trust me.