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Girls. We crazy.


Juxtapoz

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Hi.

 

It's really difficult being female sometimes. I'm normally pretty rational. I don't have fits, I don't lose my cool. And I rarely ever fight with anyone. But it's in the genetic code of my gender to be a little...nuts. Am I right, ladies? We have so much going on inside our heads that sometimes it feels normal to be abnormal.

 

I'm dating a boy, a little over a month. I'm bat-sh1t crazy about him, in a good way. He rocks my world and I'm so ridiculously stoked that I finally found a keeper. I know I'm falling, and it feels good.

 

The problem is, I want to hear The Three Words right now when I'm ready, not when he is, and that's not fair for either one of us. I haven't said anything about it, this is all internal dialogue. But there's that troubled voice behind my positive, rational self that says if he doesn't say it now he never will.

 

It's ridiculous, I know!

 

I suppose I'm not really looking for advice at the moment, just an opportunity to vent...maybe it might calm some of these malevolent thoughts I have against myself, and possibly heed the patience that I so clearly need.

 

And perhaps this isn't an issue of girls being crazy, since some guys probably go through similar experiences too. It's just difficult when things are going so well with someone and my mind wants to try and screw things up by dousing them with insecurity.

 

Sigh

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i don't know which side is more difficult to be on, loving someone more and getting hurt or loving someone less and getting bored.

 

I feel like loving someone more and getting hurt is more difficult. I just wish it wasn't the case all the time.

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getting hurt sucks a great deal, but there's also something immensely liberating about knowing you're capable of feeling something real

 

Yeah, true to that. A relationship needs to be built by real feelings in order for it to survive.

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Yeah, true to that. A relationship needs to be built by real feelings in order for it to survive.

 

Yeah. I'm in the stage of trying to decipher my feelings...but it's also a process of being a bit too overanalytical. I know the advice I'd give to someone else would be to relax and just let it flow, but sometimes I just can't.

 

My boyfriend doesn't speak English. We communicate in his language, although I'm not fluent, I'm barely at conversational in fact. But we manage to communicate fairly well. Sometimes I worry though that sooner or later it won't be enough for him and he'll want to return to the normalcy of dating girls of his background, among the other insecurities i have.

 

basically i just hope i don't get hurt by him, because i've been bruised by lots and am eager to find one i can keep.

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I am totally with you on this one - totally describes my situation. I would be ready to say I love you a month ago, but I know he's not ready for that yet. This is one thing I hate about beginnings of relationships. I tend to fall very easy. I'm really confused about his feelings right now too. His actions show he really cares and he really appreciates me in his life, but I still haven't heard those words.

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If you feel it and you are happy why do you need the validation? Is it insecurity? It's been a month....what if he says in in 6? what about a 1yr? I think if he shows he cares and has the decency to say ILU when he really means it - he's a mature guy.

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Okay, butting my head in to the female pool here... But if it means that much to you, then say it? If he's a keeper and your chemistry is there, he'll probably say it back and I'm sure he's thought about it. I've considered it with my girlfriend of a bit over a month, but in all honestly I probably won't say it until she does because I don't have that need for it to be said. In my head, a rose by any other name would still smell just as sweet, meaning saying ILU doesn't change the relationship for me besides me understanding that it's taking it to a slightly higher level.

 

But that's just my two cents everyone's different.

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No, I wholeheartedly agree with you. If this were any of my friends talking, I'd say not to worry about it and just enjoy it all.

 

I think what this really boils down to isn't that I haven't heard him tell me he loves me, but because I'm reaching a point of truly being vulnerable for someone else, and I haven't felt that in a long time. The last time I did, I got scorned, hard. So it's got me a little freaked, knowing I now have something--someone--incredible and the thought of losing him makes me sick.

 

I fall fast too, I always have. I know almost instantly if the person is who I want or not. This guy is careful and takes his time, he's mature and awesome and I envy his patience with himself and his emotions. He's not a dive-in-headfirst kind of person like I am. Plus he just got out of a relationship before me so he's not so quick to dish them back out again.

 

Now I just want to distance myself and clear my head because it's making me feel, well, crazy. The newness of relationships is exciting but scary as hell, and I just want to calm myself and feel relaxed that he's not going anywhere.

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