Ugghh

[aesop921]

I truly feel for all the other people on this site who have these relationship problems, and those who have problems attaining a relationship. I fall into the latter category, and its soo annoying.

 

It seems as if we all have the same problem. I'm depressed because I'm tired of stuff in life... I want to experience a relationship. There's only so much developing of yourself you can do before you realize its not getting you where you want.

 

And yet this attitude prevents me from nearing any sort of relationship. I don't even know what to do anymore.

[easyguy]

I truly feel for all the other people on this site who have these relationship problems, and those who have problems attaining a relationship. I fall into the latter category, and its soo annoying.

 

It seems as if we all have the same problem. I'm depressed because I'm tired of stuff in life... I want to experience a relationship. There's only so much developing of yourself you can do before you realize its not getting you where you want.

 

And yet this attitude prevents me from nearing any sort of relationship. I don't even know what to do anymore.

 

What is the focus of your life? If you were to respond with one sentence to what your greatest value is in life, how would you respond?

[aesop921]

Getting a girlfriend.

 

Obviously I have insecurity/self-confidence issues, but I feel like I maintain myself very well. I have interests, I do have depression that I am currently working on getting cured but I have not been successful in finding a medication that helps me.

 

I just wish I could not care that much about it.

[easyguy]

Getting a girlfriend.

 

Obviously I have insecurity/self-confidence issues, but I feel like I maintain myself very well. I have interests, I do have depression that I am currently working on getting cured but I have not been successful in finding a medication that helps me.

 

I just wish I could not care that much about it.

 

It'll be okay, man. Relationships tend to come and go. I know you want to know what it feels like to have a girlfriend, but the very positive feeling you can get from a loving relationship can turn around on you and become a very painful thing. I'm not saying relationships are bad, but you have to have to be ready to roll the dice with your heart. If you are not happy with yourself and you get your heart broken, you will feel a million times worse.

 

What is extremely helpful is to have a few good friends. In order to bring yourself up, you have to do some of the work. Put yourself out there, hang with people, have coffee with a friend, chat with a barista. Self-confidence comes from knowing by experience what your strong and weak traits are in any given moment.

 

A girlfriend will never be your everything. This is why it's important to have other people in your life who care about you, who you can talk to, spend some time with. Maybe it's not what you want to hear right now, but nothing is going to happen if you sit around all day beating yourself up about it.

 

When I was in high school, I was desperate for a girlfriend. I must have gotten rejected a dozen times, in addition to getting turned down for prom. Then, as time went on, I realized I had to subtract the "girlfriend" part of my life equation out and focus on what I could benefit from as an individual, in order to see relationships in a different way. It really does take time.

 

I was in a 5-month relationship with my first girlfriend until a couple weeks ago when we broke up. It was great to experience love, but painful to experience heartbreak. She was not my greatest value, and she was not mine. We both have interests outside of each other, and take our passions in life seriously. It gives us some direction. Thing was/is, we're walking two very different paths. And perhaps part of it was the idea of being in love with love, with the idea of having a girlfriend, rather than truly caring for the person. Not saying I didn't love her and care about her, but I suppose you will know how deep it is when it happens. But don't try to get a girlfriend just because you want to say you have a girlfriend. That's shallow and is probably going to hurt you more than help you.

 

It'll get better if you make it happen yourself. Having support from friends and being able to focus on something creative is helpful for paving the way to being content single. I'm not as happy yet as I was before meeting her, but I'm getting there. It's a matter of doing the work and pushing yourself out of the hole, because no one is going to do it for you.

[aesop921]

I agree with you, but that is where I am at a loss. I feel like I am self-confident now, I feel whole, I have friends and family that I love and care about. I have hobbies that I enjoy, I know what I don't enjoy. I know what I like and don't like.

 

I suppose it is just a matter of wanting what you can't have.

[easyguy]

When that special someone walks into your life, it'll be worth it.