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Oh, lord. I can't believe I'm back here again.


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The reason I am posting this is because I'm desperately trying my hardest not to send another text.

 

I figured it'd be best if I posted here instead, I'm sorry if I get blasted for this.

 

This break-up this time, is not quite the same as our last. As we both had gotten into some bad situations, a lot of stressful "life happenings" had been dealt to us throughout the year and all in all our mutual bad situation (drugs) and a tremendous amount of stress broke us both down.

 

However, the same ending circumstances happened. She took off into the arms of someone she just met at her new job, and as far as I know, that is where she is staying, again. I say again, as last time we broke, she left into the arms of one of her other co-workers at her previous job and moved right in.

 

I don't expect anybody to really reply, I guess I'm just trying to get something out of me, make these tears stop, and make myself not text her again.

 

Although, our messages today were positive, as I had approached her very maturely and was just asking for confirmation that she was going to come over this weekend as she had asked me earlier in the week if she could come over this weekend to talk and see me.

 

As I had texted her the same thing yesterday but had received no response.

 

She said she was having a bad week, working 11 days straight, and 7 more to go and that she's been in such a bad mood lately. And I politely told her that I understand. That since if she is stressed, upset, and overworked that perhaps if she would rather come over Tuesday as I didn't want her to come over, feeling pressured and making her even more uncomfortable that she had to, etc. I told her that I had gotten a new web dev. gig with a new client, nothing big, but I was going to work on it tonight anyway, so perhaps it would be best for the both of us, I could work and she could destress.

 

She replied that I was amazing and that she was so proud of me! And that she would really like that, that maybe even monday would be great! And I told her, sure, just let me know whichever will work best for you, as I will be available both days after she was off work.

 

 

I have kept NC for at least a week or so. As so freaking painful as it is, as I just continued to look forward to this weekend.

 

Ugh, anyway. My story is long and has a lot of crazy stuff involved.

 

But this site, and all of the amazing people on here with all of their amazing insight, advice, and stories, helped me regain the love my life last time after 6 months from a very similar situation.

 

In a way a feel like I'm on the fast track, but those lonely nights, or even just these lonely moments like right now, make me wonder, just how many times can your heart break?

 

Our love is reaching it's 9th year, and I'm one of those for better or for worse types.

 

So I just keep trying to kick myself in the butt, pull myself together, and know that I can do this.

 

I'm sorry for the post. But it felt good to let a little of this out.

 

It feels good to know that I can share this somewhere and not feel ashamed.

 

Thanks to everyone that's on this site, you are all wonderful people. And I wish for the best for all of you.

 

Thanks for letting me get this out and giving me something to do instead of texting her.

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Yes don't text her. You seem to be in a state of agony over the break up. It's best to just calm down, take a deep breath and relax. Break ups happen for a reason. They happen when something isn't right and a lot of times a break up can be a blessing in disguise.

 

In your case it seems that stress was the final trigger. Stress is a choice. You can choose to freak out, or you can choose to stay calm, cool and collected.

You need to just relax. Maybe listen to some calming music or take a nice warm bath and let all your stress and fear disappear. The sooner that happens, the sooner your life will get back on track and heal.

 

Drugs..alcohol...and stuff like that will only make it worse..and make you miserable. I know..I've been there and done that.

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Yes don't text her. You seem to be in a state of agony over the break up. It's best to just calm down, take a deep breath and relax. Break ups happen for a reason. They happen when something isn't right and a lot of times a break up can be a blessing in disguise.

 

In your case it seems that stress was the final trigger. Stress is a choice. You can choose to freak out, or you can choose to stay calm, cool and collected.

You need to just relax. Maybe listen to some calming music or take a nice warm bath and let all your stress and fear disappear. The sooner that happens, the sooner your life will get back on track and heal.

 

Drugs..alcohol...and stuff like that will only make it worse..and make you miserable. I know..I've been there and done that.

 

 

Thank you, TearsOfFate!

 

I am proud to say that I have been well over 60 days clean, from the devil itself, Oxycontin. And I beat that devil cold turkey! And am currently in the process of getting off of Xanax. I quit drinking altogether, and am proud to say I'm hitting four years from that, as a personal choice.

 

I'm having to re-learn how to manage stress, fear, and anxiety without the aid of any substance but from my own substance within.

 

Thank you so much for your reply. In lieu of your suggestion, I think I might wipe the dust off my guitar and try to start playing again.

 

Thanks again for responding, your input is greatly appreciated.

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There is no drug like being sober! I used to smoke 2 packs per day, and drink a lot. I tried a few drugs way back...and yeah it was hard to get away from all that crap but when I did I became a much more attractive person.

 

The first step to healing any sort of problem is realizing the problem exists. Recently I have been looking at my life and seeing what is wrong in it. I've looked in places so secretive and painful that I literally cried and broke down as I thought about it. But now that I am fully aware of my problems, I am taking action to fix every single one of them!

 

Being optimistic helps as well. Pretend you could do anything today and no matter what you would succeed. What would you do? Buy a lottery ticket? Quit a drug? Make some new friends? I bet you would do a lot....

 

Thing is, our very fear of failure keeps us from going out there and doing things but if we knew we would succeed we'd go out there so freaking fast. You just need to believe you will succeed with all your heart. To get up and do, is the first step to getting what you want. =3

 

To quit a drug, to give a loved one space, to fix your problems...you just need to believe as best as you can that failure is simply not an option my friend.

 

Best of luck to you.

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Wow, thank you. That really hit home for me. In a big way. So big, I'm a bit speechless but full of gratitude. All I can say, is thank you. That really touched me, on many levels. Thank you for your kindness and understanding. And thank you for those words. The ring very loudly to me right now.

 

I wish you the best. Thank you, very much.

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