Is he only being friendly?

[msDazed_N_Confused]

Ok, i just can't figure this out.

There is this guy in my evening class (that i find very attractive) and every week he mainly talks to me. Sometimes he would say something to others, but will end up talking to me.

There have been times where we wouldn't be able to sit next to eachother and i would notice him talking to others. But i seem to be the only woman he talks to.

Last week i tried keeping eye contact while he was telling me something, i noticed he would maintain eye contact then glance away (sideways, which apparently is a bad sign???) and look back.

But that seems to be it, he doesn't ask me for my telephone number, or to go out for coffee after class. I know he is single, and he knows i am.

Or have i just landed myself straight into a male-friendzone?

[redsoles]

Thats kind of hard to tell.

If a guy spoke to NO one else lol but me.. then he's interested in something.

Not sure what it is yet, be he has taken some kind of liking to you.

He finds you interesting.

Dont read toooo much into it, unless he does other things...

[msDazed_N_Confused]

Thank you for such a quick reply.

I was balancing between just friends or just passing time during class.

But somehow it is weird, especially since i do talk to loads of other people.

He is an army man, maybe they have a different way of doing things.

[jennyy]

maybe watch how much he smiles.. like when you walk into class, does he smile? or when hes talking to you, and YOU smile, does it make him smile as well?

[Salicia]

It sounds like something is there. It's really small though. I do see signs of him isolating you from the others in your class which is something that people do if they are attracted to you.

 

He's probably a little bit more conservative than other guys. When a guy looks at you, looks away and then looks back at you it's not really a bad sign at all. I think there may be something there so don't get your hopes down too much. Has he done other things toward you or is that what you had said the basis?

[msDazed_N_Confused]

Hedoes, he actually laughed at one of the most horrible jokes i ever made, and then repeated it a few minutes later.

He honestly seems pleased to see me, but there is just no indication whatsoever that he wants to spend time with me outside those few hours a week.

[Salicia]

Hedoes, he actually laughed at one of the most horrible jokes i ever made, and then repeated it a few minutes later.

He honestly seems pleased to see me, but there is just no indication whatsoever that he wants to spend time with me outside those few hours a week.

 

That really sounds like he's interested. I'd say give it some time but not too much time or you'll loose him. If you're really bold, just ask him if he wants to walk with you after class or something or ask him if he's interested in hanging out sometime. Sometimes, there's no wrong in that.

[msDazed_N_Confused]

I think i am going to try being a little more flirty when we are alone at the coffee machine next time.

Thanks everyone, i feel like a 12 year old sometimes when it comes to my own lovelife.

If only i wasn't so afraid of rejection. I would actually ask him out.

 

I suppose i am going to put the "excuses to touch him"- thread to the test now

[redsoles]

Thank you for such a quick reply.

I was balancing between just friends or just passing time during class.

But somehow it is weird, especially since i do talk to loads of other people.

He is an army man, maybe they have a different way of doing things.

 

Army men. ahh I dated an army guy. So cute.

Especially if they are afraid of getting hurt.. - sorry i am talking about my experience -but anyway..

 

he is interested in you. But i'm not sure i can;t really give you much because.. there isn't much given back except he talks to you and not anyone else.

[redsoles]

Hedoes, he actually laughed at one of the most horrible jokes i ever made, and then repeated it a few minutes later.

He honestly seems pleased to see me, but there is just no indication whatsoever that he wants to spend time with me outside those few hours a week.

yeah he likes you HAHAH!

[whattodo12]

Hes a conservative guy. Maybe not so confident either, but thats sometimes good with guys. You should make the first move and ask him out. Take a lot of pressure off of him.

[redsoles]

I think i am going to try being a little more flirty when we are alone at the coffee machine next time.

Thanks everyone, i feel like a 12 year old sometimes when it comes to my own lovelife.

If only i wasn't so afraid of rejection. I would actually ask him out.

 

I suppose i am going to put the "excuses to touch him"- thread to the test now

 

Hahaha, I was like you. Until Monday!

Talk to him. The thing was, I'm 17. Quite mature for my age,

yet i'd act like a 12 year old all over again around this one guy...

it sucks doesn't it?

Flirt with him! But dont be tooooo obvious about it until you know for sure.

Talk to him more

[msDazed_N_Confused]

I know, i am a confident 30 year old, with a great job. I talk to people all the time. I give presentations in rooms with 50 odd strangers.

Yet, the moment we are sitting next to eachother....wham!! my brain is jelly!

It drives me crazy!!

 

I tried to talk to my friends, but it is hard to get an objective view from them.

That's when i remembered this board.

I used to visit here a lot when i was getting out of my long term relationship.

It is great to know, there are still brilliant people out here. That actually understand my feelings.

[redsoles]

I know, i am a confident 30 year old, with a great job. I talk to people all the time. I give presentations in rooms with 50 odd strangers.

Yet, the moment we are sitting next to eachother....wham!! my brain is jelly!

It drives me crazy!!

 

I tried to talk to my friends, but it is hard to get an objective view from them.

That's when i remembered this board.

I used to visit here a lot when i was getting out of my long term relationship.

It is great to know, there are still brilliant people out here. That actually understand my feelings.

Friends? AHAH I did the same thing.

But they are too... inexperienced ? to really give good advice..

All my friends were all shocked that i said that to him, cause they never could.

This forum saved my life HAHA

[msDazed_N_Confused]

I can imagine, when you are 17.

Sadly my friends are 30 and about as pathetic as me, hahaha.

No really they are lovely. But i would never be to harsh on them either.

I needed to know that i wasn't seeing signs that weren't there.

[redsoles]

I can imagine, when you are 17.

Sadly my friends are 30 and about as pathetic as me, hahaha.

No really they are lovely. But i would never be to harsh on them either.

I needed to know that i wasn't seeing signs that weren't there.

 

Nooo he is definitely interested in something about you!

Talk to him more though for sure

come back and tell us more!

[msDazed_N_Confused]

Oh i will...

Now i am even more curious....and i need your advise!

I'm just not used to guys having an interest in me whatsoever.

 

Thanks for listening to me rambling on!

[redsoles]

When will you see him again?

When you see him, give him a nice smile or/and a wave.

or perhaps

touch him lightly like go up and say

"oh hey" and tap him friendly LOL

watch the look on his face

[annie24]

oh good lord, this isn't rocket science!!! Tell him you need a study buddy!!! ask if he wants to study together sometime!

[msDazed_N_Confused]

I see him friday!

 

And did think about asking him as a study budy, but the thing is, i actually need to concentrate on studying the next week, besides working for about 50 hrs. So that wasn't an option to just find out if he likes me.

[annie24]

why don't you tell him you lost your notes for last week's class and ask if you can photocopy his?

[msDazed_N_Confused]

no idea if anyone is interested.

But i've had class....and for the first time in weeks, i was late and couldn't sit next to him (aargh!!!).

But i caught him looking at me, and at the end off class he was stalling a bit and we ended up walking out of the classroom together. But i had an urgent appointment straight after, so i didn't have the time to stay and talk.

 

This is going to take awhile, i am not sure why, but after today i am certain there is interest. Now all i need is to encourage him a little bit

Thanks for all your advise!!!

[SoMuchLove]

Not enough. Your creating scenarios in your head. If yuor interested LET HIM KNOW.

 

Sounds like you expect him to make the move. Imagine how you'll feel when he dates another girl in your calss because you waited too long. Also, it IS possible for a guy to be just friends with a women. We know it drives you crazy... as women know it does for guys.

[msDazed_N_Confused]

Well i've already decided i am going to show him i am interested (some way or the other).

 

But for arguments sake let's say he only wants to be friends, why me?

There are about 30 people in our class, and most of them are nice and friendly.

Yet he ignores most of them, sometimes talks to a few of them when he sits next to them. But he always talks to me, even if i am sitting at the other side of the classroom, he will find a way to come over and start a conversation.

 

So now i am curious. How does a man decide out of a group of individuals..."that is the person i am going to be friendly to?" Keeping in mind, that this is not a shy person.

[Curlylocks75]

I seem to be having the same problem as you. It seems hard to really read what goes off in a mans mind... i'm pretty sure he does like you, but it's the what do I do next stage.. Many months ago, I saw and was somewhat attracted to this man who was in a supermarket car park. I kept catching both him and myself looking at each other, but from a far. I've not been for a month and called in for my cigarettes on the way to work. He was there standing outside his car having a cigarette like he usually does. He came into the shop stood behind me and we both said hello. I instigated a little conversation, had a cigarette outside my car and went to work. This is happening at least 1 or 2 times a week now.. I go park my car, his car is near mine, I go to get my cigarettes, he gets out of his car and we have a conversation whilst having a smoke. It's been weeks that this has beeing happening, i've asked him his name, he's asked mine. Asked about where he lives, work etc and he's asked the same. He did sound interested in my line of work and said, well when we are less busy and have more time, he'd like to know more about my job. Was this a hint? or not. He has told me he's taking some vacation and moving house. He did tell me that he would'nt be around, I dont want him to think i'm only going to the shop for cigarettes because he is there! The last time I saw him, he did open up more and was laughing and telling me a funny story about canoeing, which i'd found out he enjoyed. So, i'm in the same boat as you! is he interested, i have not plucked up the courage to ask if he is single but i'm willing to hang in there and be patient. If he's laughing with you and making eye contact, then yeah there is something, it's just the what do you do next stage to make him know you are interested. I say yeah he's interested... s