Difficult situation

[gevets116]

So i dated this girl for 3 years and then i decided that i needed some space. I loved her a lot, but i was going through a stressful period in my life and i was overwhelmed so i pushed her away. She told me that she loved me more than anything and i belived it. Anyways, after we broke up, she ran to another guy and developed a relationship with him without me knowing. We started to talk and i realized how much i missed her and i told her. She decided to leave the other guy and came back to me. Again she told me that she loved me and that she always loved me. I was happy that i had her back and everything seemed like it would be fine. Now, about three months later, we are still together, but i am constantly paranoid. She tells me that she loves me, but she acts differently now. The truth is, I am still bothered by the fact that she was in another relationship - that she was able to fall for another guy so quickly. I want to believe that in time things will go back to how they use to be, but sometimes i wonder if they ever will. I picture myself marrying her, but i wonder if the damage done was too severe. Shoul i just move on or will these feelings dissipate? Will she ever love me like she use to? Will i ever trust her like i use to? Is this worth it? Any advice is much appreciated. Thanks.

[Lucy1982]

She clearly DOES love you like she used to otherwise she wouldn't have come back. You have to trust that. My guy has done exactly what you did and asked her for space, I can't even think of moving on but if I did and he asked for me back it would take A LOT for me to go back after the hurt he has caused me so for her to go back to you is testament to how much she loves YOU. Trust in it and enjoy the new relationship you have with her otherwise you are going to push her away and cause her hurt again.

[lovepink]

i think you have to give it time. She probably does love you the same. she wouldnt have came back to you - but keep in mind you may have broke her heart a little when you broke up with her because you wanted 'space'. It doesn't matter if you reasons are good for wanting that it would still hurt. Put yourself in her shoes and if she did the same to you. You'd be a bit hurt right? My guess is she was with another guy as a rebound. Maybe she didn't like feeling lonely. maybe it was to distract her.

 

If you want this to work with her just give it some time. You might hate the fact she was with another guy but that was going to happen if you broke up with her at some point. And she may be worried your going to want 'space' again.

 

it will take time.

[minou]

You're bothered she went with someone else after YOU broke up with her. She went for comfort. It was her way of dealing with what you did. You're acting paranoid. You broke up with her. Of course she's going to be acting different in the middle of all that. You're even ambivalent about whether or not to stay together now. Of course she's picking up on that and is probably being self-protective. Make a decision to be with her and do it. Focus on how she loves you, she came back to you after you dumped her. shower her with a loving attitude and I am sure in time she will heal from what you did to her. I feel it's up to you to help her heal from you having dumped her. I really do. Anything else feels really selfish on your part.

[adviseseeker]

You say you want to marry her, so when's that going to happen? You had a relationship for 3 years, needed space and then came back. She's probably wondering if you came back only because you were jealous of the other guy, or actually made the decision to be with only her. So if you're planning on marrying her I would drop some hints if I were you...and maybe even make some future plans so she isn't insecure about you leaving again. If you aren't sure about that then I would take some time to really figure out what you want so you aren't leading her on - she broke up with another guy for you remember?