Jump to content

Recommended Posts

Let me just quickly recap:

 

So it’s been almost 6 weeks since I was dumped by my ex. Reasons for ending it: he was scared, unsure, went into * * * for the wrong reasons (pretty much missed having a gf), had been hurt before, didn’t want it to end – but needed it, didn’t want to dump me – but had to for his sake. He said he really, really liked me and wanted to be friends. I said I don’t think that was possible. Needless to say, I was crushed. I hadn’t seen it coming. I had been gone for a month on vacation with my family but we talked on the phone and whatnot. I had even seen him the day before and it was all fine. It was so out of the blue. I felt like I was being ambushed. And, the worst part was, he would say things like “next month we’ll do this____. Or this summer, let’s do this___.” So he had me believing that our relationship was going to be for the long haul. And he would constantly tell me how much his friends liked me – how they were amazed that he had found someone like me.

 

Anyway, the night he ended it, I went NC. I deleted his number, his texts, defirended him on facebook (even went as far as to delete his sappy wall posts and the ones I had left him), threw away everything he ad given me (which wasn't much lol), and switched out of the class we had signed up for together.

 

Now, I hate facebook (fb) for a number of different reasons, but one that really bothered me was that I could still see his comments on the walls/ statuses of mutual friends. And believe me when I say this dude lives on that site. I’ve never seen someone update their status so often: “__ is going to the gym, __ is working, ___ is eating, ___ is cooking some stakes in his underwear (the last one is true).” But I felt bad about blocking him – so I didn’t.

 

About a week later, I got a text from him saying “hey”. I ignored it.

 

Now, we study in the same library and we know the other is there, but I just completely ignore him – act as if he’s another person there studying. But I know he watches me when I’m there. One time I was studying with a male friend outside of his line of sight. He then proceeded to move tables and sit somewhere he could see us!

 

About two weeks ago, we were both there and I was in the zone studying my butt off for my physics exam. He sent me a text asking if it would bother me if he came over and said hi. I said it wouldn’t. So we made small talk for a little bit – mostly him rambling about his classes and stuff while I just listened and smiled. Pretty much acting like I didn’t give a poop.

Another week went by and I was getting more comfortable with the idea of maybe being friends. So I went to his fb page to maybe add him. BAD BAD BAD move. What I saw on his page made me gag. A bunch of pictures of him and one particular girl he had just added as a friend. They were openly flirting on fb and it made me cringe. So after a few tears (I honestly don’t even know what I was crying about – maybe the idea that he had lied to me about everything as his actions were contradicting his breakup words), I blocked him.

 

The thing is, I know he will find out that I blocked him. His best friend (who lives with him) added me a few days after I had blocked my ex. I don’t even know the guy! Was it immature of me to do? I honestly can’t stand seeing his comments on friend’s walls or the fact that I don’t have the willpower not to check his wall now that I know there’s some girl involved. And I don’t know when I should actually “unblock him” or if I ever should. We didn’t date that long but I feel like this is screaming that I’m still hurting and that he’s still affecting me – and I don’t want him to thin he still has that kind of influence on me. I’m also a little unnerved with the idea that he may actually approach me and question my motives behind it. I mean, I defriended him, and then a month later, blocked him. Seems kind of hurtful?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hurtful to him or not, I think you must do what feels right to protect yourself, and to spur you onward and upward from the break-up. You have done nothing wrong or overtly cruel to him. You owe him nothing, as far as I can tell. I think your decision was a wise one for your own well-being.

 

If he asks you about it, I would say as little as possible. You are not obliged to explain or defend yourself to him. And I think maintaining an aloof attitude is the right thing to do, both to ward him off and to help yourself gain traction for getting over him, entirely.

 

Best of luck to you - hang in there!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hurtful to him or not, I think you must do what feels right to protect yourself, and to spur you onward and upward from the break-up. You have done nothing wrong or overtly cruel to him. You owe him nothing, as far as I can tell. I think your decision was a wise one for your own well-being.

 

If he asks you about it, I would say as little as possible. You are not obliged to explain or defend yourself to him. And I think maintaining an aloof attitude is the right thing to do, both to ward him off and to help yourself gain traction for getting over him, entirely.

 

Best of luck to you - hang in there!

 

Ditto.

 

I don't think what you did was that harsh. I sent the person i was dating for 6-8 weeks 15 abusive / rude (but, very honest) emails on Friday night because i was just so enraged she had dared to contact me after i had told her not to. I feel bad for it today, but what's done is done and it was a decision i made at the time.

 

Anyway, he's the one flirting with new women and you feel bad?! Come on!

 

I think our deeper instincts kick in when we know we being done, so we have to revert to drastic action sometimes.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...