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Arethese feelings normal?


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HI Guys,

 

My girlfriend of 3 years broke up with me a little under 2 weeks ago now - she actually moved out of our flat on the 28th December, but was coming and going ans we were still seeing each other until Monday last week. She moved her stuff out of the flat the following Friday and so now i live here alone.

 

I am 40 and have never really been through this before, but i feel like im dying. It seems one minute im ok, not good but ok, the next im distraught. I can't settle to anything. I try to play a computer game and after 5 minutes i get bored and go and watch TV, then i get bored and want to do something else. I visit my family and friends and as soon as i am there i want to go home, the nwhen i get home i dont want to be there. I can't sleep properly, can't eat properly.

 

Today my son is staying over with me - he is 16 and is sitting playing games on my laptop - thank god he's here - he keeps hugging me. But i keep feeling i need to tell him im sorry for being like this. I dont want to upset him and make him want to go.

 

Are these feelings normal? How long does this pain go on? All I want is my girlfriend back, i would truelly do anything for her.

 

Psinic.

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Based on my break up, yes these feelings are normal.

 

At first I was so on edge and anxious I could not relax for a moment. I must have walked miles pacing around my Mum's front room. Everytime I tried to do something like watch TV or play on the computer with in minutes I would feel restless again and had to go back to my pacing around the lounge. I went up to see a friend and within 30 minutes of being at is house I wanted to be back home again for some more pacing about.

 

It does settle down. I could not say how long will take for you but it has been 2 months for me and I am doing much better - though I still have my moments.

 

Remember that this time is about you. Try not to think or feel weird, selfish, rude or any other such negative thought or feeling about how you are acting while you deal with this initial shock. Stay strong, do what feels right and in 2 months time I expect you'll be thinking 'Wow, what a ride'.

 

All the best and my sympathies on your lose.

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Thanks for the replies.

 

Why do i feel like i 'should be doing something'? I feel so out of place. Everyone tells me to go out, move the furniture around in my lat to make it my own, stay busy - but i havent got the energy and as you say above i just feel i dont care about anything anymore - nothing matters anymore.

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Wow Daz, I thought I was the only who paced. I must've walked 6miles a day all within 10 sq ft. Psinic it is normal. The first few weeks were/are the worse. I couldn't settle down to do anything. When I went out I wanted to go back. This lasted about 2months for me, then I could settle down. Take those hugs from your son!! Those will help so much. Hope you feel better. You aren't alone!

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Thanks for the replies.

 

Why do i feel like i 'should be doing something'? I feel so out of place. Everyone tells me to go out, move the furniture around in my lat to make it my own, stay busy - but i havent got the energy and as you say above i just feel i dont care about anything anymore - nothing matters anymore.

 

Motivation takes a huge hit. I had none for a long time. Again, that's normal early on. It's okay to take time to do nothing. Of course if you can get the motivation to move things around or get out and about then do it! It will help in the long run. I finally started forcing myself to do things. It helped. But it took a month for me to get to that point.

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