I don't get it

[hoorah2]

Long story short: After the break up (6.5 years...she wanted space to live life for her and make her own decisions, and is now showing EVERY single sign of "Grass is Greener Syndrome") , we decided to stay in contact (her idea) and we did regularly, almost to the point where nothing had changed. Eventually, I had enough and said I need a couple weeks to think stuff out and I didn't wanna talk, during which she called and texted me numerous times.

 

After 2-3 weeks, we decided to meet up and it felt uncomfortable for me so I told her I didn't wanna talk or contact each other anymore, and after a long fight, she left and it begun.

 

Well, 4 days later I got a text to the extent of "im drunk what are you doing?" After that, every couple of days I got a text ("thinking of you" "i miss you") or facebook message or call, all of which i ignored. Finally, after 4 weeks of this, I decided to pick up and asked what she wanted. Of course she was drunk, and was like "i miss you and care for you i just wanted to talk but you hate me" etc etc. After a day or 2 of contact to clear things up aka she was sober, we MUTUALLY agreed to no more contact, and that was that(in addition, she admitted she had a drinking problem and having a hard time and seeing a counselor).

 

Low and behold, a week later i get a text asking if I was going to my friends party. I ignored, but 2 days later, i got another text asking me about my new job. Extremely pissed off, i texted back asking her what shes trying to do to me and why she keeps talking to me, only to get "i dunno" and "i still care for you i want to know how you are doing" (and shes the one who broke up with me). Finally, after her talking about how shes going through a lot of problems and what not, we AGAIN agree to have no contact, but to get in touch once a month or so to catch up (i agreed but have no intention of calling or picking up). Its been 2 weeks and no signs, and I finally think shes got the idea.

 

What i'm asking though is what is her deal? she broke up with me, is already "seeing" someone else, yet would continually contact me and wants to stay in touch? Should i get in touch with her after a month? I do miss her so much and struggle not talking to her, but she treated me like crap after the break up when i was genuinely nice and trying to move on. the sick thing is though I would probably take her back, she was my all.

 

ps: that actually wasn't a long story short, my bad lol

[pumpkin89]

dont contact her, it will only prolong the pain, she clearly doesnt care enough if shes seeing someone else, i've made this mistake and my story is very similar. best thing you can do is cut off ALL contact, block her off everything and change your number if you have to, she made the choice not to have you in her life fully, so dont be in it at all or she gets the best of both worlds.

[Ms Darcy]

You want her back and she's seeing someone else. You both miss each other, but in different ways. You need to stop contact altogether, because it will keep setting you back.

 

Why did she leave the relationship? How old are you both?

[hoorah2]

im 23 and shes 21

[Ms Darcy]

Why did she end it?

[hoorah2]

Ooh, sorry, didn't see that in your last post

 

She said she always made decisions in life based on me and the relationship. She said she wanted space to be able to make choices for her and her alone (she graduates college in May). Who knows if she really did it to see this other guy, but it is what it is.

[Ms Darcy]

Did she ever express to you feelings that she wanted experience dating other guys?

[hoorah2]

Nope not at all. She says they are nothing serious and it's not what it seems, but who knows what that means of if she's even telling the truth.

 

She wants to remain friends without a doubt, but I dunno if I can do it. She has said that over time we could get back together if it all works out also, but thats most likely BS.

 

She claims to be really lost as a person, doesn't like who she is or became, and doesn't like the fact that all of her friends a school don't know who she "really" is... what this means, I dunno. I tried to help her through it, but I kinda don't care anymore.

[Ms Darcy]

I tried to help her through it, but I kinda don't care anymore.

 

Sounds like you are moving on.