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Female Anxiety Issues?


thekid55

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I've been dating my girlfriend for almost two years now. I can honestly say that I love her. We are both currently in our junior years at the same university.

 

Everything in our relationship runs smoothly, but when one variable is thrown into the equation(her anxiety), everything gets thrown off. We'll have to leave a movie, leave a restaurant, etc because she feels so anxious and can't calm down. She also has 'daddy issues'. Her dad and mom had a really rough divorce 10 years ago. He's an alcoholic and has pretty much dismissed her from his life. Needless to say, she's bothered by that and sometimes has panic attacks. Other times, she will become so stressed out that it results in panic attacks. Sometimes her stress gets so bad that her dormant herpes will break out.

 

She wants to seek professional help for the anxiety and daddy issues. I've told her that I will support her 100% when she's ready to talk. I'm totally letting her decide when she's ready.

 

Sometimes though, the anxiety gets to be too much. I'm a really simple person. I have virtually no issues in my life. When she has issues, its almost an overload for me. I want to be a good boyfriend and be there to help her, but if her issues are like this at 20 years old, what could they be like at 30? 40? She does not want to take the anxiety medication due to the health risks and mood swings.

 

I just wanted to hear some advice or any stories about how you deal with your anxiety or your partner's anxiety. Is it worth it to be with that person? I love her and want to know that I'm making the right decision. Thanks.

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I have about the same problems the best thing is to support her it all gets better in time and if your very supportive about saying its okay if you get uncomfortable thats fine i don't mind leaving early my fiance found it worth it to be with me that is our only hic up is my stress issues, I don't blame your gf I refuse meds as well. And I found it easyer to use online group therapy it seems to help better and the best thing is to sit down and talk to her when she isn't as stressed and ask her what you can stay to help. I don't know if you have sex yet but if your not don't use this but sex helps me switch out of a panic attack

 

 

And mints help so much or just mint leaves tic tacs gum permints help so much they reduce your Adrenalin. andthing else I can think of I will add. and if you have any more question just fill free to ask

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i think that therapy and medication will be extremely helpful to her. i have anxiety issues myself. but i can say that therapy, reframing the issue, and meds can help a lot. i don't know why she says that there are health risks and mood swings. i am on lexapro and find that it calms down the mood swings.

 

are you guys in college? many universities have free counseling for students.

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Sometimes though, the anxiety gets to be too much. I'm a really simple person. I have virtually no issues in my life. When she has issues, its almost an overload for me. I want to be a good boyfriend and be there to help her, but if her issues are like this at 20 years old, what could they be like at 30? 40? She does not want to take the anxiety medication due to the health risks and mood swings.

 

Chronological anxiety does not go away. It's treated, but not cured. That's why they're called Anxiety Disorders. It's very, very possible she has it based on what you described, but she needs to seek help and figure out she is going to deal with it or it will destroy your all's relationship.

 

You stated that you want to be supportive. That's very cool of you. However, not everyone can be incredibly supportive when they are dating a partner who has a psychological disorder. It takes a LOT of patience to learn how to deal with it because it WILL, guaranteed, affect your relationship. You also expressed concerns that you are unsure if you can handle it. Understandable. Honestly, if you can't deal with her symptoms NOW (mood swings, panic attacks, ect) then do yourself and herself a favor by getting out of this relationship. Don't just stick around if you are absolutely sure you can't deal with her being on meds or sometimes having her breakdowns. You will not be an A-Hole by leaving because you need to do what's right for you and she needs to be with a partner who is going to be absolutely committed and CAPABLE of dealing with her disorder.

 

Wait til she gets help and then decide if you can manage it. She should go get it now, especially if you are already having doubts with this relationship.

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Thanks for the input. We are sexually active. I have expressed to her that I want her to seek help because the disorder does affect the relationship. I do think I'm patient with her, but I wish she would go soon. She has made it to the counselling center already, but was too intimidated to talk. The sooner she talks, the sooner I hope it helps. I think I can help her, but I really don't know.

 

I give her everything to try to make her feel better. Daily backrubs/feet rubs, I always take her out, etc. She has expressed that she wants to marry me one day, but we are so young and I just don't know

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If you love her you can get though anything together even this.

 

Meds I found none to help and most pushed me to the edge of the bad side effect most made me sucidal and made things ten times worse but it effects different people in many ways.

 

Also tell her to seek treatment in various ways there is not a one help different things work for different people. WHat really helped me I created a fake twitter page and a fake myspace account and i layed all my problems out there with noone knowing who I was and it helped so much to just vent.

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She is going to need to decide to take responsibility for her anxiety and other issues. While it is commendable that you are supportive, she needs to be the one to take action to change. One thing to keep an eye on is that someone who has anxiety and other issues may have a tendency to rely on the reassurance, comforting, and support they are getting from their partner, and use this to cope with their anxiety, rather than get the issues truly resolved internally through counseling, learning cognitive-behavioral skills, etc. That would be my concern in your situation since she is rather young. You don't want to fall too much into the role of caregiver/rescuer with your girlfriend because it will just enable her to avoid facing her own issues.

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