Need opinion: 23y/o guy, 15y/o girl I'm the guy.

[Carnatic]

Well noone's telling the OP he has to break up with her, or it won't work. People who have experienced age-gap relationships are giving him the benefit of their experience and warning him of possible issues. This isn't aimed at anyone in particular, but just because someone's experience is different, there is no need to pour scorn on it and call them insecure in an attempt to prove your experience is more valid.

[Doc Blaze]

"If you are truly secure in yourself, no one has power over you. I don't let anyone control me.."

 

 

 

this is so not true....

[Sanesoul]

If you are truly secure in yourself, no one has power over you. I don't let anyone control me. This girl may be the same way. Maybe I am being over-dramatic, but at the same time, I am sick of people trying to force their stereotypes on people and saying "it's a bad idea" (your actual words) every single time a person wants to date someone of a different age. Not every age gap relationship is a bad idea. I don't think it's fair to say that you lost out on your teen years because of that guy. I think it's really unfair and insulting to your ex and to the OP.

 

I was raped at 17 by a 24 year old guy...was this my fault because I wasn't secure enough in myself? Absolutely not. Did he have control over me? Absolutely.

 

I'm not saying that you are this way OP, so PLEASE don't take it the wrong way. I'm just pulling up some personal experience to make a point.

 

A 15/16/17 year old girl is more naive, more trusting, and the likelyhood that they will get into bad situations goes up. The girl can have self-esteem out the wazzoo, but that's not going to protect her from everything.

 

That said...

 

Even if you are the perfect man, and have nothing but good intentions, you are still in very different places in your life. 8 years isn't a big age-gap when you are an adult, but to a 15 year old, that's pretty huge.

[jengh]

If you are truly secure in yourself, no one has power over you. I don't let anyone control me. This girl may be the same way. Maybe I am being over-dramatic, but at the same time, I am sick of people trying to force their stereotypes on people and saying "it's a bad idea" (your actual words) every single time a person wants to date someone of a different age. Not every age gap relationship is a bad idea. I don't think it's fair to say that you lost out on your teen years because of that guy. I think it's really unfair and insulting to your ex and to the OP.

 

Yeah, it IS a bad idea when the girl is FIFTEEN. I'm not against age gap relationships one bit, when both parties are of age of consent. I think you're just hypersensitive to this because you're dating someone old enough to be your dad and feel that through my posts regarding THIS situation are pertinent to EVERY age gap. I do not think for one second that I'm being unfair, nor do I feel I'm insulting anyone.

 

Okay, how would your boyfriend feel if his daughter, who is 14, started dating someone older than his girlfriend? I'm thinking he wouldn't like that too much.

 

OP, you may very well be an exception to everything said here, but I'm just trying to give you my perspective on age gaps when one party is still in high school. I hope you don't take offense to my posts, I'm in no way insulting you.

[Doc Blaze]

im sorry but i cant see too many parents welcoming this relationship with open arms

[HellFrost666]

If you are truly secure in yourself, no one has power over you. I don't let anyone control me. This girl may be the same way. Maybe I am being over-dramatic, but at the same time, I am sick of people trying to force their stereotypes on people and saying "it's a bad idea" (your actual words) every single time a person wants to date someone of a different age. Not every age gap relationship is a bad idea. I don't think it's fair to say that you lost out on your teen years because of that guy. I think it's really unfair and insulting to your ex and to the OP.

 

I don't think anyone is saying all age gap relationships are wrong. But the OP is in his 20s and wanting to date a child.

 

That's what people have a problem with here.

[metrogirl]

I don't think anyone is saying all age gap relationships are wrong. But the OP is in his 20s and wanting to date a child.

 

That's what people have a problem with here.

 

I agree.

 

At 15 her responsibilites and mindset are far different than someone that is 23

 

Not to mention that if he can't control his natural manly sexual urges, he's likely to find himself in the clink.

 

15 will get you 30.

[HellFrost666]

I agree.

 

At 15 her responsibilites and mindset are far different than someone that is 23

 

Not to mention that if he can't control his natural manly sexual urges, he's likely to find himself in the clink.

 

15 will get you 30.

 

A few years down the road if they are still together isn't he going to feel awkward being 26 and walking into her high school prom?

 

And right now... isn't she going to feel a little strange hanging out with his 20 something friends?

 

You know what though... I guess I really shouldn't complain too loud on this thread. When I was 17 I dated a 23 year old girl. Forgive me ladies, but it just seems so different when it's the guy who's younger. Sorry. Let the stoning begin.

[metrogirl]

A few years down the road if they are still together isn't he going to feel awkward being 26 and walking into her high school prom?

 

And right now... isn't she going to feel a little strange hanging out with his 20 something friends?

 

Exactly......she won't be able to drink with them, not legally anyway. She can't get into any clubs with them. I would think that her mom or parents would have some kind of curfew because she has school..

 

I wouldn't be too happy if a 23 year old man way eyeing my 15 year old daughter.

[Sache]

Exactly......she won't be able to drink with them, not legally anyway. She can't get into any clubs with them. I would think that her mom or parents would have some kind of curfew because she has school..

 

I wouldn't be too happy if a 23 year old man way eyeing my 15 year old daughter.

 

Around my way he'd get stomped out....[-(

[Doc Blaze]

I remember at that age i was was asking permission to go over my friends house and my parents would say well is johnnys mom or dad gonna be there..lol..what do you say in this situation"dad he has his own place udh he is 23" ok honey go have fun.....i mean i hate trying to make into a joke like that but she is 15...

[mdog]

Like pretty much everyone else has said....wait..she is in a completely different stage. I'm dating someone who is 22 (almost 23) and Im 19 and he was kind of iffy about that difference. I have nothing against age gaps though. I think you should just be her friend for now. I mean wait a year till she is 16 maybe 17. Look and see what the laws are like in your area (otherwise you could be in jail) If you truly care about her, you can wait for her to get older. But im not saying to give up on her either. Because if you do give up on her than she could find someone else. Just be there for her when she needs you.

 

On the other hand a year can change a lot of things. But i think if you look out for her and dont hurt her...she will end up running to you more than anyone else.

[shonuff]

I'm just responding to the title of this thread because I think that's what you basically want subjective feedback on. To stay totally subjective, I didn't read beyond that. I honestly read the title and thought "yuck" and that was it.

[fantastic]

A few years down the road if they are still together isn't he going to feel awkward being 26 and walking into her high school prom?

 

And right now... isn't she going to feel a little strange hanging out with his 20 something friends?

 

You know what though... I guess I really shouldn't complain too loud on this thread. When I was 17 I dated a 23 year old girl. Forgive me ladies, but it just seems so different when it's the guy who's younger. Sorry. Let the stoning begin.

 

That's because it is different.