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I have recently read an article here (Falling for the person I see every day), which resonated with my situation, but which only barely touches on the intensity of my own.

 

I have the good fortune to work on a fabulous private Motor Yacht, which has a world cruising itinerary. We are 12 crew and of the crew there are 4 couples, I am one of the "singles".

 

4 months ago my previous cabin mate left and we got a new guy. I am a 36 yr old professional woman, very successful, independent and attractive. The new guy is 10 years my junior and very attractive, talented, considerate, funny, and kind. I felt instantly attracted to him and saw that we "clicked" immediately. He brought out good things in me: making me feel younger and carefree, much more energetic, not to mention super feminine and sexy.

 

He transformed my working day from the dull and banal to fun and exciting. Every time he would come into my workplace, I would sparkle and we would have some kind of exchange, be it a physical touch or a verbal connection. The chemistry between us was unmistakeable. We connected on so many levels, like nothing I have felt in a long time. I felt like he "got" me and vice versa. We would talk late into the night and share private jokes throughout the day.

 

BUT, and this is a big but. He has a long distance relationship with a girl he has been dating for about a year and half. He left her back home to come away and find his new adventure in the yachting industry. She let him go and said she'd wait for him. They have seen each other twice in the past year.

 

I cannot deny that I have not hoped that this girl is not for him and that the relationship will end. When we have spoken of his relationship he has even said that sometimes he thinks it's a "waste of time". But he's so afraid to hurt her, he says. Once, at lunch, when we were discussing past loves and relationships, he was very insistent asking me how it felt to have my heart broken as he feels he has never been in love before and that women tend to take it harder than men. The way he persisted in this line of questioning, made me feel that he was thinking of her and how she would feel if he ended it. But, then again, maybe that was a projection of my own hopes... I didn't ask him directly if he was thinking of his situation, when maybe I should have.

 

I knew he was very attracted to me because one night, fuelled by alcohol and tropical heat, I confessed that I liked him so much. I told him I liked everything about him. The next thing I knew, we were back in our cabin and cuddling in a way that friends don't cuddle. Fully-clothed and no kissing, but our bodies pressed to one another in that way and for that long a period of time, was far from platonic. In that night and following morning he told me that he found me "incredibly sexy" BUT it was wrong for us to do this being roommates and him having a girlfriend. I couldn't have agreed more because I am not normally inclined to chase men with partners - I value love and fidelity more than that.

 

However, there was a little part of me that exploded with happiness and hope in that moment. He likes me too!! But I am certainly a big enough girl to know that a man's liking and a woman's liking can be 2 distinctly different things. Especially when one is a 26 yr old man/boy and the other is a 36 yr old woman/girl. But I was falling for this man. I loved everything about him and he touched me every day with the connection I felt between our souls.

Then, after a month of friendly, happy "normality", of endless flirtations, growing closer by the day both mentally and physically (we started to give each other back rubs and he gave me a wonderful foot massage one day when I'd had a particularly hard day) we arrived into port after a 10 day ocean crossing. As is the way, the single crew went out on the town and promptly drank the boredom and frustration of the trip from our systems with a few swift shots of tequila. A few shots more and suddenly he and I were left alone. The conversations started then. All cards on the table: I even expressed that I felt he and I could build a life together, that is the extent of my feelings for this person.

 

Tellingly, he said he felt that he couldn't give me what I want or need. But in the same breath admitted that he very much wanted me physically. And then it was out: a suggestion that we could spend this next year of our lives (our work contract) enjoying each other in the privacy of our own cabin. How exciting that would be, that none of the others would know...

 

And then there we were, back at the hotel I had booked for MYSELF for that night, finally getting to know each other physically as we'd both wanted to for 4 months now. After all that we had been through to buckle at this stage and give in to our carnal desire! Especially when his long-distance girlfriend was in the air at that very moment, flying, on her way to meet him half way around the world.

 

I am not proud of this moral breakdown on both of our parts. Why did it have to happen... then? Tequila and lots of it, without making light of the situation. And a slow and daily build up of a sexual frisson, that neither of us could deny, would certainly play a part.

 

This happened last week. Fortunately I had some days off so I spent them away from him and everyone else, while he was left to meet his lady and cope with is own demons. Unfortunately I had to meet her and him when passing on the boat. Me, who is supposed to be just the great roommate she has heard so much about. Awful can't describe how bad I felt, it doesn't even touch on it.

 

Since then I have disgusted myself with the whole gamut of emotions about the affair. At once wanting him to dump this lovely girl and come running to me for our happy-ever-after-life, to then putting up my own walls to shoo him away and brush off the shockingly sordid and excruciating experience. How could we have been so bad?

 

I have written this for my own catharsis and also to see if anyone out there can offer any words of advice. I will find out what he feels when I see him in 2 days and she will have left by then. In the mean time.....

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You know what, thats the reality of the situation, you two are literally stranded together on a yacht, crossing the sea, (very cool I might add) also, he's in a LDR, which is something I've ALWAYS said, was never a real relationship. I say that because the intimacy part of it all, (you know, the part you two share everyday on the yacht) is missing from that LDR. The part of it that is the very foundation of any real relationship. It is not there for him and his long distance cyber girlfriend. This being said, it was only a matter of time before he found someone, an attractive lady on a yacht, that would be there, at the present time with all the right conditions surrounding you two, to tempt him to finally expereience and have what he was missing in his so called relationship. INTIMACY.

So I say, don't feel bad, and neither should he, you both should accept the inevitable, that we are only human. You are both attractive adults, in and around your sexual peeks, on a yacht for christ sakes..lol...I mean seriously, need I say more. It's bound to happen. However, if he were living with this girl, and were married with children, then yes, I would say there was something wrong with this picture. But that isn't the case. I'm also sure, now that his "girlfriend" has seen you, and now knows his roomate is an attractive woman, might not sit so well with her, I know I wouldn't like it. So don't feel bad, simply accept your human nature.

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wow I thoroughly enjoyed your writing.

I will have to disagree, however, with the poster above me. long distance relationships are 'real', and you and him are right in feeling guilt. more his fault than yours, as he is the one who keeps his girlfriend's trust.

 

my advice would be to keep your hands off each other, unless he decides to break it off with his girlfriend first (and I think she should know, to make the choice of keeping HIM or not). it will be hard, but definitely not impossible. you both seem like intelligent beings, so use your mind to control your bodily urges. best of luck on your journey.

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Thanks to you both for your words and understanding.

 

I think you both have said the truth, despite the posts being of different opinions. In one way what happened was "inevitable" but that does not make it right.

 

I do feel guilt about what happened and just hope that he is the man I think he is, and has faced up to what he has done and what its implications may be for us AND them. It pretty much hangs on what he decides or feels now. If this visit with the girlfriend has cemented it for him and he "knows" she is who he wants to be with, then that is a bitter pill for me to swallow, but I will just have to take it. It does take two to tango and he never made me any promises so I would be unfair to give him pressure. But if he chooses her, then he has to leave me alone not just physically but mentally (which will be very difficult seeing as we sleep one metre from each other). He's also become my friend so that will be a double whammy if I lose that in some way.

 

But if he wants me, well that's a whole different story which will have to be approached carefully, slowly and respectfully.

 

Thanks again for taking the time to respond.

All the best.

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So, I am the girlfriend.

Not this girlfriend, but I was in the exact same situation. My boyfriend has a very exciting job that puts him in close contact with women in 'bonding' situations for extended periods of time while I stay at home and take care of business.

 

Last summer, he slept with one of his passengers. Yeah, it 'just happened', yeah, 'they couldn't help it' and yeah, we were having some issues in our relationship at the time.

 

The fallout? The single most miserable horrific break up that either of us has ever had. He quickly lost interest in her, became nearly suicidally depressed because he'd lost true love over a fling. He resents her and himself, and is completely disgusted with the entire situation.

Four months apart I took him back, only because I saw how miserable he was and that he was willing to go to counseling. We are still both suffering from the fallout and it is taking all he can do to gain my trust back.

 

The other woman? Nothing more than a booger on our collective psyche that we keep trying to flick off.

 

You were wrong. So was he. And everyone will suffer. That long distance girlfriend? She loved him enough to save herself for him and stay faithful to him. Do you think for a moment that someone who tells you that 'He can't give you what you want' before jumping into bed with you will actually want to ditch his girlfriend for you?

Ugh...by the way, you aren't his friend. If you were you wouldn't have gone about screwing with something that was obviously important to him. And the moment you decided to flirt with him was the moment you started the game. The bad behavior on both of your parts started long before you slept with him. Just sayin'.

 

Oh you feel guilty huh? I’d rather hear that you’ve learned a powerful lesson on how easy it is to forgo your morals when you play with fire. But I don’t see that at all, I see you praying that he breaks her heart for someone who does not value the notion of committed relationships.

 

Yeah, you pretty did exactly what the other woman did to me. Same situation, same exact thing.

 

Gross.

 

Thanks a lot!

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Wow Trxy, that was some message. I can see that you are obviously still hurting very much from your experience, but also feel that you are using me as a scapegoat for the feelings from your own situation.

 

I do know that I was wrong, and him too. He is the one in a relationship after all. Wrong as it was, not all situations are the same and I am not the woman who slept with your boyfriend.

 

"by the way, you aren't his friend. If you were you wouldn't have gone about screwing with something that was obviously important to him. And the moment you decided to flirt with him was the moment you started the game."

 

When you say the above, you are solely putting the onus on me. What about him, when he said to me that he feels his relationship is a waste of time. What about when he says to me that he wants to be with other girls. What about when he draws me into his world and tells me how sexy he thinks I am. Excuse me, but his girlfriend doesn't sound so "all important" now! As I said, it does take two to tango and it's always easy to blame the other woman.

 

I get that you're angry, and so you should be. But if you had read what I had written you would have seen that I showed remorse for what we did and that if he chooses to stay with the girl I will also accept that with grace. You can't help who you fall in love with, and unrequited love is something that has existed as long as love has. So if that is my fate, then so be it. I will not be pushing anything.

 

And since I wrote this thread, things are now back to normal. We are living and working together as normal. We still have our strong connection and we're staying friends. Because we are friends and both care for each other. People do make mistakes. And people get over them. I hope that you and your boyfriend manage to survive his and you can work through your problems for a happy ending.

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You are right. I am bitter and I am taking it out on you.

Seeing as how this chick played her part in causing us worlds of hurt and hasn't ever made an attempt to apologize to me, this is my only outlet. And yeah, my boyfriend was at least 50% (arguably more) at fault in this whole thing, but he's bending over backwards to make it right, and I've had to see him suffer horribly, go to counseling, real from the guilt due to the pain that he’s caused us both.

 

So, you are right, I'm angry as hell at this woman and I'm taking it out on you because your 'situation' was so spot on with our situation. Pretty much the exact same thing, even that night of 'cuddling' prior to the actual hook up that it's almost like writing to Amy herself.

I know the score. You feel that you aren’t responsible for his behavior, that he is responsible his relationship and for her feelings, not you. And on some level you are right.

However, if there weren’t women out there so willing to jump into bed with people who are already in relationships, this kind of thing wouldn’t happen. And until you’ve been the one whose lost love or come close to it, due to infidelity, you have no idea the amount of pain your actions can cause another human being.

I feel like I do get to be a bit judgy on this. I am human and I’ve been attracted to attached men. And they’ve let me know that they were attracted to me. The difference? I would NEVER tell a man who already has a girlfriend that I’m attracted to him, or flirt with him. If he tells me he’s attracted to me I tell him to get back to me when he’s single, and the break up had nothing to do with me. Funny…no one has ever gotten back to me. I guess their relationship wasn’t nearly as fubar as they tried to portray it.

 

So yeah. I am venting on you. Maybe you can just take this for what it is, the perspective of his girlfriend. Since she’ll probably never have the opportunity to tell you this stuff herself.

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Actually, now I feel kind of bad for venting out like this. I know you say that your situation was different, but everything I’ve read, and everything he’s told me about what happened on his trip show that there wasn’t much difference at all.

 

I kind of feel bad for you that you have feelings for this guy. I wouldn’t call it unrequited love – unrequited love is what those stalkers with restraining orders use to justify their actions. You had a wicked crush and you fanned the flames of desire. Both of you.

He may leave his girlfriend for you after all. But then, you’ve got yourself a man that you can never truly trust. If he’ll leave her for you, he’ll leave you for someone else. It is irrelevant if they were having issues in the relationship or he was questioning the relationship. Every relationship has rocky times. Do you want someone who will fall into the first vagina to come along during your rocky times?

 

No matter what happens, you don’t win in this situation. No one does. Maybe that’s why I stay away from attached men. Part of it is the idea that as a woman I need to have all other women’s backs, whether I’ve met them or not. The rest of it is pure self preservation.

 

Sorry if I sounded mean.

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You can't help who you fall in love with,

 

I appreciate that things have gotten back to normal and that you are friends and keeping things professional, but the above line is a cop out, assuming that humans have no will of their own like animals, and therefore, able to deflect some responsibility for their actions. Before anyone states that Humans are animals, let's consider one thing; we toilet train ourselves, we don't crap on the carpet, we know better. There isn't an out here for you to use OP, you got close, yes so did he, but that was the choice that you both made for yourselves despite the circumstances.

 

One of the things I have come accross when trying to overcome issues like this is something called; 'owning your . Which means that one doesn't try to shift the blame for their choice and yes I said choice. One must own it and realize that they themselves made the choice for part of the issue which has transpired. Not nature, not circumstances, just themselves and the choices they make. A mistaken choice yes, but a choice nonetheless. To best learn from this mistake so it may not get repeated, I would strongly suggest accepting the responsibility of your share in this. While he may have been making the moves on you, you could have taken responsibility for yourself and taken action not to fall into this trap.

 

We all choose our direction in life, we must learn from our mistakes lest we make them again.

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I doubt he'll leave his girlfriend for you. It sounds more like lust than love. Personally, I always felt a sense of hidden kinship with other women, even if I didn't know them. I wouldn't want do to someone else what I wouldn't want done to me. If this was really love, he would have eventually broken up with her and turned to you. If you really loved him, you wouldn't have colluded with doing something he would later feel guilty about. That being said, right now I'm separated from my husband. He has a girlfriend. I would be with him in a second. I'm still his legal wife, however. She knows what she signed up for. I really feel badly for this other woman who said she'd wait for him. On the other hand, he could have proposed if he loved her so much.

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It's so easy to generalize the situation, but have any of you ever been in it??? I highly doubt it. And stories of.."this one time I avoided sleepin with a girl at a party, or avoided makin out with this guy at a club".. doesn't even come close to measuring up to this scenario.

 

Your all human, all fundamentally flawed in ways of controlling your emotions. I would love to see what you have to say if your literally stranded together for a long period of time on a yacht at sea with the opposite sex which your attracted to. You will certainly feel something for that person, be it hate, or affection, theres no avoiding the two.

 

I could maybe see this being avoided if one were married, quite possible, still unlikely, but possible. I agree this isn't love, but fact that this guy has a LDR and seldom sees is cyber girlfriend, really makes for an easy cheat. Maybe he just wanted to get laid, afterall, not like he gets it consistantly from his online love. So as wrong as this scenario may be, it is just as wrong to criticize, because to do that is to deny your very nature, you think it's just a choice, maybe it is, but it's a choice thought out by your very nature to act in these instances.

 

So anyone on here criticizing is complete hypocrite, because chances are, you would do the exact same thing in this situation. Like it or not, it's the truth.

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So anyone on here criticizing is complete hypocrite, because chances are, you would do the exact same thing in this situation. Like it or not, it's the truth.

 

Really? You know this about us?

 

You are wrong. Some people know their boundaries, some people don't play games. Just because you can't fathom this doesn't mean everyone else is weak.

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Really? You know this about us?

 

You are wrong. Some people know their boundaries, some people don't play games. Just because you can't fathom this doesn't mean everyone else is weak.

 

Your missing the point, read everything I said, don't just quote one line. NONE of you, have ever been in that situation, stranded at sea, alone sleeping side by side, and attracted to the person. That scenario goes far beyond the typical boundaries your used to. And it has nothing to do with playing games, you simply can't control your feelings, you either try to ignore them, or you act on them.

None of us here have ever been in that situation, you can't say for sure that you wouldn't act on it. That is my point.

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Again, you've never been in the situation, you don't know what your capable of doing, don't judge.

 

I can tell you n Trxy must've been hurt before, it's understandable, but comparing this with murderers and rapists? your reaching to far to make a point that isn't sound, sorry, just doesn't work.

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Again, you've never been in the situation, you don't know what your capable of doing, don't judge.

 

I can say that it would be highly unlikely that this would happen to me no matter what the situation. I’ve been physically and emotionally attracted to attached men. The minute they give me reason to believe that they’d be willing to fool around on their significant others with me, I lose any emotional attraction. I just don’t find men who are unfaithful attractive.

 

If someone is willing to really really hurt their girlfriend for the sake of a fling or lust, then they aren’t being nice. For instance, no matter how hot or cool a man is, the minute I see him kick a puppy or punch a kid, there is no way I’m sleeping with him even if I’m locked at sea with him for a long period of time.

 

I’m not comparing it to rape or murder, I’m just saying. Honesty and respect are attractive. Infidelity? Not so much.

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On the most basic level, all circumstances, etc resolved and cleared. If it was a "right thing to do" why is she having guilt?

 

Read my entire post, I said it wasn't right. Just explaining the nature of the situation.

And of course you haven't been through this before, otherwise you would understand rather than pass judgement. I'm sure you've been hurt before, that was kind of obvious, i'm sure you've even turned a girl down to stay faithful. But, you've never been stranded on temptation island, or yacht in this case for an extended period of time, that much I do know.

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Read my entire post, I said it wasn't right. Just explaining the nature of the situation.

And of course you haven't been through this before, otherwise you would understand rather than pass judgement. I'm sure you've been hurt before, that was kind of obvious, i'm sure you've even turned a girl down to stay faithful. But, you've never been stranded on temptation island, or yacht in this case for an extended period of time, that much I do know.

 

That in every situation exactly like this, we can expect this result? Does this happen 100% of the time when people are in sitch's like this? I hear what you are saying when human nature comes into play, this is why when some engage in LDR's, I'm sure a good portion get into a 'don't ask, don't tell' scenario. I can also tell you this, what some of the other posters are referring to in terms of their lives is that you have no idea if they have been through situations where the temptations where worse.

 

However, while it is tough, is it impossible for the right actions to have come to pass? While the OP's sitch is tough, did her sitch give her a free pass so that she isn't responsible for her part in this? There was something written on here a long time ago which I now call Karvala's Law. He had stated in a post that in order not to cheat, it's more than just making the choice, it's also avoiding temptation so that it doesn't get the best of us.

 

I will concede that the situation was indeed one where things where stacked against the OP. However, in refereing to her part in this and only her part there was no gun put to her head, she wasn't being extorted, there was an out if she so chose. At the end of the day, no matter the situation, she still chose to go along with this, it was a choice, this is what the other posters are referring to.

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A tempted choice EVERYONE of us are capable of falling for, I myself have never cheated, i've been tempted but no where near to this extent. But stick me on a yacht for a few weeks, or months with a woman i'm attracted to and vise versa, I make no promises.

 

I'm not defending the OP, thats not at all what i'm trying to do, I even said she was wrong. But what gets me, is people who do what she did, then complain about it after.

She saw something she wanted, and took it, now suddenly she regrets it? the man is the comitted one, the OP has nothing to lose, she was having her fun, with no attachments, she knew what she was getting into, then suddenly she has an attack of morality? If your going to mess around with a commited person, you have to understand the consequences, she did, and is still troubled by it, this I don't get. So for that, i'm far from on the OP's side of this, i'm just saying, we're all capable of doing what she and her fling did, to be more supportive rather than judgmental, these earlier posts were pretty harsh coming from people who are more than capable of falling into the same trap.

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Meh, we aren't going to budge you Simple. You are absolutely convinced that everyone who is put in that same situation is capable of doing the same thing. Some of us simply disagree. The main point being that we wouldn't even go there, start the game.

It is very easy to decide whether or not you want to fuel or kill an attraction early on in the game. No matter what the circumstance. You can make up your mind not to go there.

 

However, it is much harder to kill an attraction if you've fuelled it for a while.

 

It is a matter of morality and treating people (even people you don't know) with respect. Say that you were stuck on a boat with a super good looking girl who looks like she’s 20 but is really only 15, say she’s got a crush on you. Would she be in danger of being seduced by you?

Probably not right? Because you know that it would be wrong, and it could land you in prison for a super long time, and no judge or jury would buy the "If you were in that situation you'd do it too!" line. You'd probably look at her and say, "Damn...jail bate...danger!" and avoid any intimate/alone time with her.

 

Same thing goes for infidelity. When you meet someone, ESPECIALLY in situations that may be dangerous, you cut those thoughts off before they get started. That is what mature people who take responsibility for their actions do.

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A tempted choice EVERYONE of us are capable of falling for, I myself have never cheated, i've been tempted but no where near to this extent. But stick me on a yacht for a few weeks, or months with a woman i'm attracted to and vise versa, I make no promises.

 

As have I and one of the things I have learned in my old age is that everyone's breaking points are on differing levels and different situations. While I happen to know of guys who work in nightclubs who 'get around' when their gf isn't around, I also happen to know of people whose spouse is the worst demon this side of Medusa and still keep things locked down.

 

Being capable of an action isn't the same as following through with said action. This is also why I had stated Karvala's law, like Trxy stated, we all know the consequences, if we make the choice we get it and everything that goes with it, be they bad or good. If one can recognize that they are heading to a point where temptation may get the best of them, one can make the choice to head it off at the pass. Heck, my MIL is an alcoholic, yet she can go to family gatherings where people are imbibing without a relapse. Does anyone not consider that there maybe recovering alcoholics who can't even walk into a pub? What's the difference? Is my MIL stronger than the alcoholic who can't even be near it, or is that other alcoholic making up for that 'weakness' by being smart enough not to place themselves into a predicament which would end badly?

 

Did the OP and her 'beau' suddenly wake up in each others arms, or did she feel the warm and fuzzies slowly start to grow and do nothing to stem the tide? Could something not have been done at that point?

 

My question is that due to the circumstances, do you consider the OP not responsible for her actions? I would agree with you if she where raped or blackmailed, but this isn't the case. She had a choice, she excercised that choice, and now is healing from this choice. Just because one may be capable of the same action in the same situation, doesn't mean that the action is acceptable or irreversible. Like I had once said, even if most would undertake that action, it's most, not all. Some would recognize the dangers involved and not take the position on the boat in the first place, to each their own.

 

I can't speak for everyone's point of view, so I will speak of my own. She ended the sitch, she stepped back from this dude and isn't innapprpriate with him any longer. Kudos to her as we all know many who wouldn't have done so and even more who wouldn't have spoken about it even on an anonymous message board. The only reason why I posted is because of her line about not being able to help who you fall in love with.

 

This is a tactic known as blameshifting, something done to shift the blame and responsibility from herself to the nature of the situation. This was 100% her choice to get involved, 100%, I would suggest owning it, realizing that it was a mistaken choice, that she did engage in it and she will never make that choice again, and avoid situations which could possibly place her in this situation. By shifting the blame even a little, she doesn't have to take responsibility or even learn from the situation.

 

I'm not defending the OP, thats not at all what i'm trying to do, I even said she was wrong. But what gets me, is people who do what she did, then complain about it after.

She saw something she wanted, and took it, now suddenly she regrets it? the man is the comitted one, the OP has nothing to lose, she was having her fun, with no attachments, she knew what she was getting into, then suddenly she has an attack of morality? If your going to mess around with a commited person, you have to understand the consequences, she did, and is still troubled by it, this I don't get. So for that, i'm far from on the OP's side of this, i'm just saying, we're all capable of doing what she and her fling did, to be more supportive rather than judgmental, these earlier posts were pretty harsh coming from people who are more than capable of falling into the same trap.

 

I guess I didn't see the posts you mentioned and my post wasn't meant as an attack. Just that I called her on a cop-out, that's it. I didn't belittle or insult her, simply made an observation on a post she made to Trxy. As for no attachments, she was still culpable for what she did. Like a crime, she's was an accessory, like a getaway driver is in a robbery, she participated, this cannot be denied or minimized. Had she chosed an alternate route, she wouldn't have written about her fling. Her conscious is hurting her, I hope she does feel better about things in the future, but I would be lying if I said that I'm sorry it's bothering her now. That's her morality trying to teach her a lesson which I would bet that she is learning.

 

While the other man came onto her, she accepted. Tell me, if I sell you a stolen car and you knowingly accept it with the full understanding that it was 'hot' does that mean that the cops can't arrest you for it later?

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Your missing the point, read everything I said, don't just quote one line. NONE of you, have ever been in that situation, stranded at sea, alone sleeping side by side, and attracted to the person. That scenario goes far beyond the typical boundaries your used to. And it has nothing to do with playing games, you simply can't control your feelings, you either try to ignore them, or you act on them.

None of us here have ever been in that situation, you can't say for sure that you wouldn't act on it. That is my point.

You CAN choose not to act.

 

People have understood and followed boundaries for thousands of years. You are no different. None of us are. If we cheat, it is because WE choose to harm others for our own benefit.

 

Period.

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Worth repeating:

However, if there weren’t women [or men] out there so willing to jump into bed with people who are already in relationships, this kind of thing wouldn’t happen. And until you’ve been the one whose lost love or come close to it, due to infidelity, you have no idea the amount of pain your actions can cause another human being.
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You CAN choose not to act.

 

People have understood and followed boundaries for thoousands of years.

 

 

Things have changed in last few thousand years i'm sure, get with the times. Infidelity rate is higher than ever, more than 60% of marriages fail in the U.S alone. Whos to blame? who knows, maybe theres too many people crammed into one country, makes for a great selection. Or maybe it's television shows, MTV creates reality shyte that basically says cheating is ok. Perhaps marketing and advertisments have warped our fragile little minds over time. Either way, you can't compare todays society to what existed thousands of years ago.

 

And to whoever you quoted in your second post, i've been cheated on before, a few times, by a girl I was in engaged to, she swore her loyalty, and love n all that shyte. But in the end it's all just . I have no faith in future relationships. And i'm not talking about the ugly, low selfesteem couples, I mean confident, well kept couples with available options other than their SO. Lets be honest, couples with low selfesteem are just happy to have anyone, their not going anywhere. Just a thought.

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