Going backward instead of forward

[KittyBoo]

Sometimes I think that I am never going to feel happiness again. My bf broke up with me 4 months ago and instead of it getting easier, it is gettting worse. By the middle of the week I can sense my mood changing ever so slightly, on Thursday it is getting worse and on Fridays I am on the verge of tears all day and come home from work and cry at night. I dread the weekends. While everyone else can't wait for the work week to be over, I can't wait for the weekend to be over.

 

I know that I have to do more to help myself, to get more involved but I just can't get motivated to get out and do things. There are people out there whose lives are far worse off than mine but I am lonely and still hurting from his rejection and betrayal.

 

All I ever wanted in life was to have someone to love and who would love me back. I know that it is more important for me right now to start learning to love myself but it's hard when I look in the mirror and think to myself "no one is ever going to want you". I know that I have a lot to offer but it is like telling an anorexic that they are too skinny ... when they look in the mirror what do they see? Someone fat. And so when I look in the mirror all I can see is someone who other people don't want to be with. Even if they were not the right people for me, I still think that somehow it must be my fault. Otherwise, why wouldn't they want a wonderful person like me?

[flyoffthewall]

Sorry to hear that you are feeling this way. I can relate, as I've had very similar feelings after a break up.

 

Try taking baby steps. If you don't have the stamina for certain things that would help yourself, try something a little easier, if you can. For instance, I know that when I am in a funk it is hard for me to focus or do things that require a lot of discipline. However, I can catch myself ruminating and succeed in stopping it before it gets too out of hand. Or, I can go out and take a short walk, rather than watch TV and eat. Each baby step tends to lead toward other activities that take more effort, making life easier and easier.

 

A current thing that I do that is helping to build my self-esteem and to get out of my funk is volunteering. I volunteer at an animal shelter. I love animals, and they give me lots of affection, and I feel good knowing that I am doing something useful. I've also met some great new people.

 

Of course, it is cliche, but you have to start by figuring out why you feel the way you do, and by addressing the things that you don't like about yourself, so that you can first build your self-respect and self-esteem. Good luck to you -- I know that this is much easier said than done, but you have to do it, and you will eventually. It is entirely up to you how long it takes.

[sidehop]

I agree with flyoff, take baby steps in feeling better, appreciating the smallest things and gradually find your strength to fully gain control of your life again.

 

Don't be hard on yourself, anyone coming out of a relationship rarely look forward to the weekends, being alone especially at night. I'm sorry you're going through this but time will really heal your heart.

 

Going outside to get fresh air is always good, try to stay away from being inside and things that remind you of him while spending more time with your friends and families will help you to heal faster.