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Being Single And Content


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13 months out from 5 year relationship.

 

I've noticed this past couple of weeks that I'm enjoying my own company once more, because I can. I've noticed that what's happening in the world outside my house doesn't really matter as much these days, because it doesn't. I've noticed that I'm not concerned with all the fun other people are having, because they aren't. I've noticed that I'm not caring about how great everyone else's life is compared to mine, because it isn't.

 

I'm becoming more and more content with being by myself and happy in my own little world when I'm at home with my dog. Sitting in watching a movie with a take-out is a nice thing to do. Me time - I like it. I don't think about my ex much. I don't get sad, I don't get down in the dumps. I don't long for her in any way. I still think about her, and of course wish things had worked out differently, but hey, it is what it is, right!?

 

And you know the great thing about all of this is? Do you know what this means? Yes, it means it wont be long before I'm ready to meet someone new. Sweet!!

 

Onwards and upwards!!

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good for you. i feel like that sometimes... well, wishing i was single but then there are days where i'm glad i'm not. i'm a mess... lol. but glad to see that you are seeing the positive outlook on being single. have a great day!

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And you know the great thing about all of this is? Do you know what this means? Yes, it means it wont be long before I'm ready to meet someone new. Sweet!!

 

\\

 

Nice post mate. Makes me feel optomistic

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Yea it's not too bad eh Rob, glad to hear you are doing well. Keep it up.

 

\\

 

Nice post mate. Makes me feel optomistic

 

It's 'optimistic' - only one person around here is allowed to spell it 'optomistic' and she's stuck with it. Anyways, I wouldn't have corrected you, was just a friendly joke on someone from these parts.

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I've noticed that I'm not concerned with all the fun other people are having, because they aren't.

 

That is something i noticed many years ago. All those fabulous people sitting out drinking lattes aren't that flash!

 

Congratulations Rob! It sounds like you're moving in the right direction and i hope there is some sweet, smart and savvy woman around the corner for you How about making a list of desirable qualities?! Or, is that jumping the gun?!

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Great news Rob. That is where I am at. The way I consider it, I am dating myself. I like going out, but doesn't bother me at all to sit nights on end at home engrossed in my life, hobbies, and pasttimes. Feel like I should be out there dating, but that seems more a chore than anything and taking me away... from myself.

 

I don't think it's a bad place to be though. It's good to be completely comfortable in your own skin and with yourself. Means you will be okay, no matter what, with someone or without them. I think this is the first time in my life I have ever felt this way...

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Great news Rob. That is where I am at. The way I consider it, I am dating myself. I like going out, but doesn't bother me at all to sit nights on end at home engrossed in my life, hobbies, and pasttimes. Feel like I should be out there dating, but that seems more a chore than anything and taking me away... from myself.

 

I don't think it's a bad place to be though. It's good to be completely comfortable in your own skin and with yourself. Means you will be okay, no matter what, with someone or without them. I think this is the first time in my life I have ever felt this way...

 

Nothing wrong with that. Having a mate is not a prerequisite for happiness. Being able to live contently without one is.

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Such a WONDERFUL, freeing feeling. I love that you have arrived at this place. I think it is such a positive thing to post, as it allows people to know they will (eventually) be ok in their own skin and not need anyone to define their happiness. Posts like this always make me smile.

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Hey Rob,

 

Maybe you can give a month by month progression on how you dealt with the breakup-or how you were dealing with the breakup through time. Mine was five years too. Just thought it might help

Woah, that's a tough one.

 

February The First few weeks were easy. I'd just started a new job and was totally focused on it. I was enjoying the space and extra room in the bed. I still believed it would all work itself out between us.

 

March Still busy with new career and new friends. Was aiming to get to the point in the road where it didn't bother me as much. My ex and I were still in touch through email so I was doing fine.

 

April This month, especially around Easter, was when it started to sink in. Work had settled down and I started to miss her more. I began thinking of a plan to get us back together.

 

May The third month was hard. Her relationship status on Facebook was changed to 'no longer listed as single', so it all came crashing down that we may be actually finished for good. I wrote her a letter from the bottom of my heart asking her to come and talk to me. But her reply left me in no doubt that it was never going to happen.

 

June My life was disintegrating. Everything around me fell apart. It had finally hit me that my fiancee was gone for ever. I cried and cried and cried.

 

July Little improvment during this month. Depression began to sink in. I went on anti-depressants for a time with no effect. I was still crying all day and night.

 

August Again, this was a tough month. It wsa her birthday, and all my friends were there, except me. That was so hard to take, especially as the photos appeared on facebook. She looked amazing and looked like they all had a great night, without me.

 

September This was the month it started to get a little better. I was slowly falling out of love. I could feel it.

 

October A strange month. Oct 3rd would have been our wedding day. I was in Miami for a holiday so was miles away but it all felt a bit flat. On my birthday at the end of the month I found out she was seeing someone else. Happy Birthday, Rob!!

 

November Gradual improvement again. I started dating. I began having fun and started to see a life without my ex. Although the news that she was seeing someone was hard to take, it essentially helped me let go a bit more.

 

December Christmas was tough because I missed her a lot. My first Crimbo in over 5 years without her. I also found out she had broken up with the guy she had been seeing.

 

January I hadn't seen her in almost a year, since the day we had broken up. There was an engagment party coming up with mutual friends and I was about to see her for the first time.

 

February I saw her for the first time in almost a year. There ws definitely feelings still there between us but it seemed to affect me more than her. I emailed her one last time to see if she felt anything. I got a pretty cold response. On the same night, however, I met a lovely girl and started dating her, which took my mind right off my ex.

 

March: I have moved on incredibly and am at last feeling free of the pain and suffering if the last 12 months. I'm not seeing that girl anymore because she didn't really do it for me more so than me not being ready. Right now I'm just happy being me. I still get sad about what happened but it's taken me a long time to get here and from here on, it's gonna get so much easier!

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Great post Rob! You brought hope to many others including me that it is OKAY to be happy on your own after being with someone for no matter how many number of years together. It is good that you did not dive into dating so quickly but taking the time to heal....hope to see more inspiring post from you!

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Ah its getting really tiring now. I'm fine most of the time...I can enjoy things again and have a laugh/fun without hurting BUT I still think of him constantly...and check his facebook atleast once a day =/

I think what hurts the most is thinking I don't mean much to him anymore more than me actually missing him. I miss the way he used to feel about me...how he used to adore me I don't actually miss him or our relationship!

You've come a long way! I hope I progress as much as you have sometime soon !

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