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I have a 6"x6"x6" box here that I've put some of the more sentimental gifts she gave me in, along with a note. One of the gifts she gave me was a decorative poinsettia... and I cut off a couple leaves, one of which was cut into smaller pieces. In the box, I have included an ornament she made me (part of a set of 4), the pair of ornaments we picked out individually that are IDENTICAL (we had no idea the other one had picked their's out... pretty serendipitous really), a pair of Harry Potter glasses (when she met me, she was attracted to me, and didn't know my name so she referred to me as "Harry Potter" to her friends), a leaf from each of the 3 plants she gave me which she said she would've never trusted to anyone else she was with... and an ornament that says "ALWAYS", which was to symbolize that what we had was forever.

Then in the note:

 

Actual Note:

"There was a time when you gave me these things with the promise that what we had was forever. You worked to show me how you felt and there was significant meaning in these gifts. They were intended to match what you had for a reason. Some of these occurred all the way up until my birthday, just days before what we had blew up. Now I'm left unsure that the intentions and meanings associated were meant or if you gave them knowing this was coming. It's no longer my call, nor my concern. Putting together the pieces of what we had will be harder than putting the pieces in this box back together. But, if you get to feeling like rebuilding the meaning of what was, exploring the intensity of what we had or how you always felt better with me around or the certainty of how you felt after my LASIK (and the previous 3 months), get in contact with me. I can't promise I'll be available. Some new people and exciting things have started happening in my life and it won't be on hold in the mean time. I'm not expecting you to come around. We've had some pretty rough times lately and they currently over shadow all the good times. If you remember the significance of these gifts, and why you went through what you did in order to find them, get them and give them to me... perhaps we'll see where our lives are at that point. If not, I wish you the best and thank you for the time we did have together."

 

On the outside of the note (since it is folded):

"As I'm sure you figured out, when we split up my world kind of fell apart. I didn't react or behave as I should've. I panicked. I was completely caught off guard. What I had thought would always be there, suddenly wasn't. I saw that future we talked about, the dorky kids, our summerly trips and that person that took such great care of me after my LASIK disappearing. I made mistakes. I thought if I followed what you had asked me to do, and showed you what you had said and felt that it might work. It felt as though everything that was, suddenly didn't matter at all. I have my bearings about me now. I'm not assuming anything in this letter or box will matter."

 

 

This is mainly a box to help me get closure. I realize practically everyone here will say to not mail it. At bare minimum, I am assembling them into the box. There is quite a bit of symbolism in it for me. Also, if the meaning truly wasn't there when she gave them to me, it's essentially giving her back her lies.

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You mentioned this before so I will start from where I left off then. I guarantee you she won't care. She won't think "ah damn I shouldn't have lied to him" she won't feel sad or mad or anything.

 

You'll end up looking foolish, I think.

 

You deserve not to be lied to, so I suggest moving on without anymore contact to her.

Don't give her anymore thought; she doesn't deserve it.

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As of yet, I have just assembled the box. The things inside are things that were only meaningful between us. I have tons of other stuff she gave me. She won't throw it away. She will read and go through the entire box. In the entire time we've been broken up, she has read every messaged and listened to every voicemail I sent (most of which were in reply to messages she sent me).

 

The main purpose of the box is to allow me a sense of closure. My colleagues have said if I do this, I need to have the box assembled and sitting in my apartment for at least a week out of sight before sending it.

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You can say everything you need to say in a letter to her or other form of communication. Putting things in a box and sending the box to her is your way of getting a response from her and hoping she'll realise a few things and come back. It certainly doesn't act as a tool for closure. She knows why she gave you those things. She knows what you guys once had. She was there, she felt it and it was real. Unfortunately she doesn't feel it any more. Put that box in your attic and in a few years time you can open it and smile with a warm sense of love in your heart for someone you cherished.

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I did this. Packed everything of hers or that was a gift from her and sent it back. There are parts of me that regret it, and other parts that don't really care cause it was part of my closure and I was tired of looking at the stuff.

 

I'm not a very sentimental person I guess, but I would say toss it rather than send it to her or putting it aside for later. If I could go back in time, I would do this instead.

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I did this. Packed everything of hers or that was a gift from her and sent it back. There are parts of me that regret it, and other parts that don't really care cause it was part of my closure and I was tired of looking at the stuff.

 

I'm not a very sentimental person I guess, but I would say toss it rather than send it to her or putting it aside for later. If I could go back in time, I would do this instead.

 

Any particular reason? It's also worth noting that this is only like 5% of the things she gave me... maybe less. I still have a lot of pictures and many other sentimental things. I'm sort of planning on assembling this box, closing it up... and hiding it for a week. I guess then we'll have to see if I feel the same "need".

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Honestly, you better throw it away, do not send it back to her, as someone said she will not care and u will look foolish.

If you have something that can be reused, such as a nice toy or a shirt, donate it to the charity, you will feel good with it.

When my ex broke up with me, i throw all of her gifts, but a couple of things such as very nice and expensive clothing, I donated to the local charity, she also bought me a wallet and put inside a 5$ bill and she wrote on it "goodluck" , i was suppose to keep this bill in the wallet, its kind of a "good luck" bill, and the wallet was pretty expensive, so i just threw the wallet to the garbage and the 5$ bill with the "Good luck" written on it I donated in the local Tim Hortons (coffee shop) branch to the recent Tsunami victims in Indonesia (they had a special donations box for the Tsunami victims), And it actually felt good that im not just throwing it away but doing something useful with it, Ohhh lol and i gave a pretty expensive bracelet (i think it was around 120$) to a homeless guy in downtown, im not joking, it just could not keep it and besides the money value was nothing to me, when i had it, it was invaluable because it held a sentimental value, but now the sentimental value was gone so the bracelet had absolutely no value for me.

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Any particular reason? It's also worth noting that this is only like 5% of the things she gave me... maybe less. I still have a lot of pictures and many other sentimental things. I'm sort of planning on assembling this box, closing it up... and hiding it for a week. I guess then we'll have to see if I feel the same "need".

 

Why I would change sending it? Or why I sent it?

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I know she didn't care and I believe it showed weakness on my part. I just feel that she wasn't even deserving of the thought. I don't regret sending it, but I feel like tossing the stuff would've been a better choice. I only think it's weak because I sent it out of anger, which imo means she still had a hold on me.

 

I like your idea of keeping it all boxed for a week and seeing how you feel. That's smart. But honestly, I hope you don't send it, but if you still feel like you need to, leave the note out. I attached a similar note and everything I wrote was pretty much in vain. She had no recollection of anything I said. They're just empty words that push them further away until you become of interest to them again. You owe yourself more than that.

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