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girlfriend cheated


hlax

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My girlfriend of two years went out with her friends. She got really drunk and tried smoking weed for the first time. At the end of the night she went to some guys room with her friends and she was falling asleep at the chair she was sitting at. All her friends left her alone at the guys room and the guys came up to her and kissed her, she kissed back but as soon as she realized what she was doing she stopped it and ran out. This happened about a week ago and ever since she has been crying all the night and passed out (without and drugs). She has been prescribed sleeping pills so she can sleep. We both still really care about each other. I don't know if I should forgive her because she was extremely drunk and high and didn't realize what was happening or should gold a grudge.

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I used to say that nothing could excuse cheating behaviour that if someone could cheat when drunk then i would have to leave them otherwise they wouldnt be able to EVER have a drink again.. which is unrealistic! my partner goes out with his friends sometimes and they are doctors with stressful jobs at hospitals.. when they go out they tend to drink a little bit too much and party quite hard.. he comes home in the early hours of the morning, but he never cheats and i would never even be afraid that he would.

 

HOWEVER... When I was with my ex I went out on a night out with friends and I got very drunk (stupid!!) and then I bumped into a guy from work I used to fancy.. he kept chatting me up.. I was slurring my words.. he totally took advantage of the situation but I dont even remember how it happened. he just started kissing me and i kissed back and then panicked and became really really upset.. i was throwing up and filled with immense guilt.. I never told my partner but we split up soon after anyway for another reason. I really did love him and would never have cheated on him.. and then i did!

 

I don't excuse that behaviour but it has made me a little wary of being so drunk i am not in control of myself.

 

If your girlfriend told you about this and she is desperately mortified and promises to never get high again then i think you can forgive her and move on, but only if you truly do.. there is no point in saying you forgive her and then bringing it up everytime you have a row or she has a drink.. it has to be put behind you.. if you cannot do that, then your relationship could have no future.

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First of all she was in an unconsciousness situation, so it can't be judged as a cheating. So i am not finding any reson not to forgive her. But she shouldn't have drunk much.

 

She now really regrets for what all happened and wont be repeating it You can forgive her..

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Ya she waited to tell me until after my scrimmage so I didn't play bad. I guess she has been crying everyday since it happened. But I guess the guy texted her like 4 in the morning to see if she wanted to get high with him and some friends when her friends that she went out with went to sleep. So she kind of put herself in that situation.

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It seems isolated, unintentional and she pulled away. She didn't instigate the kiss and she ended it. I think I would be mad/hurt that she couldn't control her drinking to where she knew her judgement would be impaired but I'd forgive her. I'm thinking if my BF was at a party, REALLY drunk (though he has no excuse anymore, he's old) and a girl came to kiss him and he pulled away after realizing I wouldn't hold a grudge.

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Ya she waited to tell me until after my scrimmage so I didn't play bad. I guess she has been crying everyday since it happened. But I guess the guy texted her like 4 in the morning to see if she wanted to get high with him and some friends when her friends that she went out with went to sleep. So she kind of put herself in that situation.

 

wait, so she went off with some guy at 4 in the morning to get high by herself without her friends? uhhhh...that doesn't sound good.

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First you need to get at the truth. Now she is telling you that she may have made out instead of just kissed. That is call "trickle truth". She lets you know a little at a time in hopes that she can eventually tell you everything, without having to have any consequences. Also alcohol is not an excuse. All it does is reduce your inhibitions till you end up doing what you wanted to do anyways. If I were you, I would get up in her grill. Chances are there is more, maybe full on sex. She just hasn't found a way to tell you without the threat of consequences. Also her story changed from the beginning. Her friends didn't leave her there, she went over to this guys place at 4 in the morning. She didn't just end up there. She may not have even been drunk. Probably wasn't

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I hate to be negative and I'm definitely not trying to make you paranoid, but her reaction to just a "kiss" isn't fitting. Crying everyday cause she kissed another guy, but stopped it? Call me a skeptic, but that just doesn't fit.

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I hate to be negative and I'm definitely not trying to make you paranoid, but her reaction to just a "kiss" isn't fitting. Crying everyday cause she kissed another guy, but stopped it? Call me a skeptic, but that just doesn't fit.

 

I've seen girls like that here at ENA, though, ven. Beats the hell out of me why, but yeah.

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lol, made out eh? define a "short while". Kinda would agree with ven here: I dunno how far it went; maybe she's trying to make herself look relatively innocent.

 

Either way... I'd suggest forgiving her for now (Innocent until proven guilty, unless you feel worse than crap), and also not ever going out with those friends anymore. If she's truly remorseful, she'd never put herself in that situation again. I would be surprised if you never got over it. She wasnt really conscious and yeah...

I personally would have a problem, however, if she allowed her to put herself in an unconscious situation again. Then she's consciously trying to be unconscious O_O.

good luck

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No she didn't change her story I just said the wrong thing about the kiss/make out thing. She went to smoke with him and other friends not just those 2 and they all went back to his room. The reason why she cried is cause i kicked her out of my room when she told me and did not talk to her for the rest of the night and she figured i wouldnt talk to her anymore and we were done.

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