Omg, the stupid ex won't leave me alone... what do i do?!

[mgirl]

What a narcissist! She contacts me to ask about an appointment i had 2.5 weeks ago! How much of a laugh is that?

 

The reason being, i think, is that she likes having the last say and likes to keep "re-dumping" me.

 

I told her a month ago, i did not want to be friends with her. I told her 5 days ago not to email me anymore, so what does she do? Finds a phoney excuse to contact me - "concern about my welfare"... hence the email. Then, when i call her on it, telling her that it was too early to email me etc. She says "sorry it's still raw, maybe we can catch up in a few weeks"... * * * ? Did i ever say i wanted to be 'friends' with her?

 

Omg, how do i stop this game player? I've just sent her 6 rude emails, telling her exactly what was on my mind. She repulses me now...

 

What do i do? Ignore her?

 

I feel like i've gone backwards cos i was doing well, and then she asked the token question about the appointment and it's all undone... *grr*

 

Edit: i actually think she's a psychopath, i am worried... she has accused me of being everything - a liar, a cheat, a 'player', plus she's made out i'm so abusive and told me in no uncertain terms, there is nothing i could say to get her to meet up with me, yet she wants to now. What is that all about? I'm scared.

[Crazyaboutdogs]

Ignore the emails and just don't respond. As for her lies...wasn't she the one who cheated on you and was a jerk to you? Her accusations are pretty standard lines for the ones who are actually guilty of the bad behaviour. They project their actions on to their partner (or ex) and re-write history. I wouldn't put much stock in it. I believe there is a special school called "Jerk School" which trains people how to be a jerk...and the course "Lies and Passing the Buck 101" is a very popular course...it is the basics on how to be a jerk! So just view her as the run of the mill jerk, her actions being pretty classic behaviours for jerks. Ignore any further contact from her.

[mgirl]

Ignore the emails and just don't respond. As for her lies...wasn't she the one who cheated on you and was a jerk to you? Her accusations are pretty standard lines for the ones who are actually guilty of the bad behaviour. They project their actions on to their partner (or ex) and re-write history. I wouldn't put much stock in it. I believe there is a special school called "Jerk School" which trains people how to be a jerk...and the course "Lies and Passing the Buck 101" is a very popular course...it is the basics on how to be a jerk! So just view her as the run of the mill jerk, her actions being pretty classic behaviours for jerks. Ignore any further contact from her.

 

Thanks Crazy!

 

Man, i just can't believe how some people like to draw you back in. I'm sure she is a sociopath (although she didn't show violence)... It's like she likes to antagonise, so she has an excuse to "complain" and blame, and then withdraws. I have a lot going on in my life right now, and it's positive.

 

I'll just find it hard, cos i'm SO ANGRY now! Grr, i have to get over it. I was over it, and then she emails, and i think she is doing it for all the right reasons.

 

She just sat back, took all i had to give her again (compliments, saying i missed her) and then responds with a non-chalant email...

 

Anyway, i'm done... She has now succeeded in repulsing me. I have so much going on in my life right now, i don't have time for this

[nutbrownhare]

Omg, how do i stop this game player? I've just sent her 6 rude emails, telling her exactly what was on my mind. She repulses me now...

 

What do i do? Ignore her?

You stop the game player by resisting the temptation to play the game yourself, even if her accusations are so outrageous they're making your jaw drop! Sending her 6 rude emails is playing the game; thinking angry, negative thoughts (no matter how valid and understandable they are!) about her will bind her to you emotionally just as thinking fond, romantic ones would.

 

You need to cut loose. Ignoring her would be a good start. Set your email 'message rules' so she's a blocked sender, etc etc ... Holding still with yourself and maintaining your dignity in the face of someone else's, erm, rubbish works wonders for your self-esteem, and gets much easier with practice.

 

Good luck!

[mgirl]

Thanks nutbrown. Just living proof that it's best not to get drawn in by the selfish games of others. Emailing out of concern or just to be nice is a farce... Remember that people! They just wanna drag you down.

[norsewoman]

Stop interacting with her, period. Don't email, don't answer the phone, etc.

[mgirl]

Stop interacting with her, period. Don't email, don't answer the phone, etc.

 

Thanks norsewoman. I gave her a piece of my mind (again) last night. I couldn't help it, i was just so angry! I told her in no uncertain terms NOT to contact me again. I think this time she will listen. She really needs to find somebody else who will flatter her ego.

[LAYAAN]

Block/filter email ID. If you need help with that you can google up. There is information on practically every email base - gmail, yahoo etc.

Block / screen phone no.

If you have made it clear that you don't want to stay in touch, you have done your job. Whether they want to listen to it or not is their choice. You do what you need to do to move on. Don't respond to anything at all. They will get the message. If they keep stalking you, get a restraining order.