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Should I let him know when I'm available?


afrodite79

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So I went out with a guy last night and had a blast. We clicked right away. He said he had a great time and hasn't laughed so much in a long time. We both showed interest in getting together again. The problem is that both of us have irregular work schedules. Yesterday I couldn't tell him when I would be available because I hadn't memorized my work schedule for this week. He didn't know when he'd be available either. I told him I'd let him know. I don't get my schedule for next week until probably Saturday. I was going to let him know when I got it. Now I'm sort of feeling like I don't want seem pushy.

 

I really don't know how to go about this whole dating thing. This was my first real date in about 4 years. He initiated and set everything up. He paid for everything even though I offered to pay for my stuff and he was low on money. He seems like a really great guy and I don't want to mess things up.

 

Does anyone have any advice on how to go about this?

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If you told him you would let him know when you got it, let him know when you got it. Don't ask him out but just send him a note that you got your schedule. Normally I would say not - but you DID tell him that's what you would do. If you said you got your schedule on saturday. Let him call you, but if you don't hear for a day, leave him a message. It is up to him to ask you on a date with that information in hand.

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Thanks for the advice you guys.

 

I think I'll just text him my availability for next week when I get it after work tomorrow. Then I'll wait to see if he calls to set something up. He works 3 jobs so his schedule is pretty crazy. Hopefully he'll call. I really like this guy.

 

@misskitty

We both said that we wanted to get together again once we knew when both of us would be available.

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any updates?

 

Nope. I texted him when I'd be available to get together yesterday. Nothing yet. I'm going to give him 3 days. After that I'll just figure he's not interested. Sucks because he was the first guy in years that I had such a good time with.

 

I'm trying to keep all sorts of crazy thoughts out of my head. Yesterday I was wondering if he lost interest because I didn't kiss him after our date. Maybe it made him think I'm not interested. I told myself that that's crazy and I'll just wait the 3 days.

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^^ well, she already said she would do it, so she just went through with her word.

 

i don't think it will hurt though that she did. if he's into her, then he'll be happy that she wrote him. if he's not, i don't think it made any difference or turned him off. on the plus side, at least this way, she knows she put forth the effort and doesn't have to look back and wonder 'what if...?'

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^^ well, she already said she would do it, so she just went through with her word.

 

i don't think it will hurt though that she did. if he's into her, then he'll be happy that she wrote him. if he's not, i don't think it made any difference or turned him off. on the plus side, at least this way, she knows she put forth the effort and doesn't have to look back and wonder 'what if...?'

 

 

Yeah I told him I didn't know my schedule so I'd let him know when I got it. That's what I did. He said that night that he'd find out when he was free when he got my schedule. He works three jobs so it might be hard. I texted him after I got home the night of our date to say I had a great time. He texted me right back and told me he had a great time too. Now I guess I'll just have to wait. This is one of those time where I wish I had other people to date so I wouldn't feel so lame liking this guy so much.

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any updates?

 

He texted me last night after he got off from his third job. He said he was sorry that he took so long and that he had a really busy couple days with work. He said he still wants to hang out. The problem is that our schedules are conflicting this week. We're going to play it by ear and work something out.

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He texted me last night after he got off from his third job. He said he was sorry that he took so long and that he had a really busy couple days with work. He said he still wants to hang out. The problem is that our schedules are conflicting this week. We're going to play it by ear and work something out.

 

What about an early breakfast, a late night dessert, etc. Just to see eachother for a minute or two? A microdate?

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What about an early breakfast, a late night dessert, etc. Just to see eachother for a minute or two? A microdate?

 

I thought about that but I'd rather us have more time to hang out. I didn't really want to have to cut a date short because one of us has to go to work. I'm off on Saturday so I might see if he wants to meet up for coffee or something before work though.

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You won't seem pushy... at all. It's just an excuse you and all other girls have made up as to why you never contact a guy no matter what. If you said you was gonna let him know then let him know.

 

Yeah I did let him know when I was going to be able to hang out.

 

I don't think I saw you at the last "All the Women in the World Conference" where we talked about this. How did you get in?

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I thought about that but I'd rather us have more time to hang out. I didn't really want to have to cut a date short because one of us has to go to work. I'm off on Saturday so I might see if he wants to meet up for coffee or something before work though.

 

It appears that with your crazy work schedules that don't match up, that you are going to have to take what you can get. It is going to be harder to get that "big block of time" together unless one of you compromises and stays up later than normal when the person gets off a late shift or gets up a little early and then has to go to work. But this works to your advantage because you can see eachother for an hour or two and leave the other person wanting more versus waiting for weeks between meetups because one wants them to be "perfect".

 

If you eventually hit it off in a bigger way and establish a relationship, perhaps you both will ask for a certain day of the week as your day off so that you can spend time together. That doesn't come right away, but down the road when there is a "us". I am not saying it will or won't, but usually when people have weird schedules, the weird schedule gets the best of them and they don't continue or they make modifications.

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He still seems interested. I let him know I'm off Saturday and asked when he had to go in that day so we could maybe get coffee. He thinks he goes in at 7 but is going to find out when. Last week worked out really well. He asked what day and time I'd be free and he got off at 6 on my off day. We're just going to have to take it week by week. I hope both of us stay interested even though it's hard to get together.

 

I know what you mean about waiting weeks. I thought about it and I don't want to do that. I'd rather see him for an hour or two this week instead of waiting til both of our schedules perfectly sync up.

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We had our second date today and it was great. We just went to a diner, ate a little and talked. I had so much fun and we get along so well. He seems way into me and is really looking forward to getting together again.

 

It just seems so weird after all the jerks I've dealt with. He's done everything right so far.

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