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Did You Help Pick the Ring?


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Dam right! He knew he'd never get it right as I am a perfectionist and know what I like, so he proposed with a crystal encrusted butterfly ring - I collect butterfly items so I thought that was soooo sweet! We went to get my real engagement ring a week later and its a corker

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Yea, I find myself at a crossroad! He wants me involved, and we've been looking and trying ones on and basically wants me to find one I like, and styles I like.

At first I thought that was a nice idea, and he explained his rationale which I agreed with...but it turned into a totally different thing when I actually did it. It was more of a "What do I like" and I find myself being really critical and picky, when really...I know whatever he puts on my finger I would love.

 

I feel like I'm picking out a gift for myself! Now I want no involvement!

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My ex proposed then took me to a pawn shop. How romantic. I wouldn't mind an antique shop/consignment shop that had older rings to save money or get something unique, etc, but I was a little miffed at the guns on the wall. I saw a ring with a small diamond and he told me it was for babies and got me a 1.1 carat diamond ring. BTW, he wasn't a gun toting kind of guy. I could just tell though he bought it to impress his clients how great he is for buying me a big rock.

 

My boyfriend and I talked marriage and I don't know what he will do if he goes through with it. He told me he is not too crazy about diamonds and likes rubies and sapphires. Fine with me. In fact I would prefer a sapphire and diamond or a ruby ring because it comes from his heart and the marriage is more important than a ring. I would want a wedding band, though.

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NO! you should have involvement as this ring will hopefully be on your finger for life! Go and have fun choosing it!!

 

My engagement ring is 3.1 carats, told you its a corker! and my wedding band has 60 small diamonds in it, god Im a flashy cow lol!! They mean everything to me and I am so proud to wear them!

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My bf and I have talked about it a little. I told him what I like as in silver rather than gold, and what kind of cut and that I like smaller diamonds flanking the bigger one type of thing. So he has an idea about what I want but he would pick it out on his own I think.

 

He gave me a very pretty promise ring a few months ago and it fit perfectly. I asked him how he knew my size and he asked if I remembered him asking to see my ring awhile back, apparently he put it on his pinky and saw how it fit and that's how he picked out this ring, I don't know if that makes sense lol, but I thought it was sweet.

 

If you don't want any involvment or want to be surprised then just give him some basics that you would want and let him do the rest. I'm sure it will be beautiful! You should post a pic when you get it, i'd love to see!

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That was his rationale. That I'm the one wearing it for life, so it should be something I love. And while I did feel that it was true, once I did start looking it just didn't feel as special.

But I am glad I did it as many styles I did like, once I put them on didn't suit my hands and fingers. So it was definitely good that I took a look and tried..but aside from that..I've told him that he now knows enough of what I like and don't like..and he can go from there.

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Nope, he didn't consult me. He bought it 3 days after our first date and proposed a week after our first date (we'd chatted online & on the phone for about 5-6 weeks prior to meeting)

 

It's a small, heart-shaped ruby (his birthstone) and fit me perfectly right out of the box. If you're into "signs," that was probably a pretty damn good one.

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1st husband, no involvement, completely shocked (not in a good way but was young and just couldn't say no in front of everyone). The ring was a size too small.

 

2nd husband had me pick it out, which would have alright but it was so unromantic. I'd prefer to be surprised, it's not like I felt like I could pick anything anyway, we had a budget and I knew what it was, which really sucked.

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That was his rationale. That I'm the one wearing it for life, so it should be something I love. And while I did feel that it was true, once I did start looking it just didn't feel as special.

But I am glad I did it as many styles I did like, once I put them on didn't suit my hands and fingers. So it was definitely good that I took a look and tried..but aside from that..I've told him that he now knows enough of what I like and don't like..and he can go from there.

 

There's nothing wrong with wanting to do it this way. I loved my ring even more knowing that he picked it out for me. Plus it was just great to be surprised like that. It's up to you. There's no right or wrong.

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Yes I was involved in picking it out. He took me to many different jewelry stores, looked around at different styles and things. He ended up buying it from Spence Diamonds. It was similiar to the one I wanted, but HE picked it out. I generally just gave him an idea of what I liked, which is good because it will be on your finger forever! If you are in Canada, I will tell you that Spence has by far the best looking diamonds and the best prices. We looked everywhere too.

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Funny....a few months back...my parents spent the day with my bf and i. At one particular store, we split up(i went with my mom, and bf with my father). We stopped at jewelry counter, and my mom and i admired different rings. Next thing I know, I started trying on a few for the fun of it...and then i found "the one". That is MY ring. Like a loyal mom(and best friend) should..she told me she "notified" him of that ring...lol...unbeknownst to him of course. From what he's told me he "already knows what kind of ring/style I like and want"......so yes, I guess you say I was pretty involved(hopefully IT is that ring...or I'm gonna kill him AND my mom)....kidding....

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When the ex and I talked about it, I told him which ring I liked. What can I say it's my dream ring and I know what I like. Not to say that if someone was to get me something completely different I couldn't like it, it's just that there is one ring in particular that is my "dream ring". But in the end it's all about the person proposing that really counts, you could have the most amazing ring and the worst person who gives it to you, in turn that ring can mean nothing.

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I'm helping him pick it out b/c I'm not a jewelry person whatsoever so I don't even know what I like. I don't even know what size my finger is! I went yesterday and got sized and looked around some and showed him online my "perfect" ring, but whatever he chooses is up to him b/c I want to be surprised!

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Congratulations, Asti!

 

My husband's mother gave him his late grandmother's ring to propose with, which was her wish. It fit perfectly and it is curiously, precisely my taste, so I lucked out there.

 

For our wedding rings, and this is what I would suggest to you for a happy compromise, perhaps, we went to his jeweler and worked with them to design our own bands. Original creations, we dreamed up and drew the basic gist of what we wanted, they made molds, we settled on the details after a few meetings, and they cast and finished them with no trouble at all!

 

That way you are both involved, equally, and romantically, working and planning together, and your rings are all, only your own, made for each other by each other. Plus, you get the wonderfully building anticipation of creating them and watching each step in the process!

 

Best of luck to you both.

 

**Edited to say - in terms of the engagement ring, assuming you are the only one to wear such as per the usual custom, I would still submit the idea that you two create it together; that way he doesn't buy something you don't favor and you don't feel more or less forced to pick your own engagement ring

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I picked out mine. We had only known each other about a month, I was not wanting him to spend too much, knowing his salary at the time was not much, coupled with me being a shy person,so I picked out the smallest one! .10 carat round solitaire. I regretted it afterwards a little, but not the meaning of the ring. When I tried to bring it up several years later that and "Upgrade" would be nice he refused saying that is what I get for life, no upgrades. A few years later it was stolen due to my stupidity (Leaving it on a picnic table at our apartment complex pool). I asked for a new one then and ended up with a CZ channel set ring. Finally at tax return time I picked one out for myself, even bought it on my own. The meaning was lost but it was a pretty ring.

 

*now.... nothing =( after the divorce I had to pawn it to pay bills.

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Well my boyfriend asked me to go ring shopping. He asked me to look at rings I like on the internet,in the stores,etc. We went to get the ring and were going to get it that day but couldn't long story short....I like that he cares what I want but I hope that he gets a ring and gives it to me. Makes it seem like less of a transaction if he buys it while I am not there. He slipped up and told me he already bought me a ring and told me he hopes I like it but it has been weeks now and no question - no proposal so I don't know if he has chickened out or what....I see both sides of this being good. I mean if a woman helps she will get a ring she loves and the quality she wants but if she doesn't it seems like the man is likely more in tune with her and it is less of a business negotiation.

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We do have an appointement on Monday night with a jeweler to create one as I like various aspects from certain rings and he's always wanted to create one.

I guess I am just missing the surprise aspect of it. Because once I know we create the ring, that will be the one I am getting and its just a matter of time before it goes on my finger.

 

I spoke to him about it last night, and told him that I did enjoy looking at them, but would ultimately like to leave it upto to him to make the final decision.

 

We have several more jewellery stores to hit up over the weekend within the city, and if he chooses to do the appointement on Monday to create one based on what we've seen and what I've liked, than thats his choice.

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I took my fiance ring shopping just to get an idea of what she would like, she then fell in love with a ring she tried on and I ended up getting that ring. We spend a couple days going to jewelery shops and had a lot of fun looking, spending time together and thinking and talking about our future. She was only a tiny bit surprised when I proposed, more like an affirmation, but in hindsight I am glad I involved her.

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My fiance and I picked out the ring together. With us, though, it would have been difficult to do it differently. I wanted a sapphire ring, but I also wanted a ring that was pretty obviously an engagement ring and not a "promise ring" or a "purity ring" (being that I go to a Christian college, those are not uncommon). But again, I didn't want a ring that was to expensive. We saw a ring in the store and had the jeweler hold up a marquis cut sapphire over the diamond that was in place... I knew that second that it was the ring for me, and he knew from my face that it was the ring for me!

 

However, if the ring had been less difficult to pick out, and if our budget had been a little bigger (thereby unlimiting the options a bit), I would have probably had him do the final picking out of the ring.

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Trey and I have been looking around..because he wanted me to pick out my ring..but I pointed out certain styles that I liked instead because ultimately I want him to surprise me and pick out the one he sees fit. I don't think there's anything wrong with doing it that way either, you're going to be wearing the ring the rest of your life!

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