eye candy.. help!

[lovegame]

My boyfriend tells me he sometimes checks girls out. It’s not just the face he pays the most attention to, but the size of their boobs and the rest of their body. I feel very uncomfortable whenever I hear this. I don’t know if this is a sign that he isn’t getting enough from me or what is it? I mean, if I really satisfy him like he claims, then wouldn’t he just keep his eyes to himself? I’ve been feeling very down about this lately. I don’t know how to act or feel on this matter. If I let it bother me too much then it’d be like I’m making it into a big deal, yet it kills me knowing that my man is staring at other girls. Give me some advice. Should I be cautious that he may be unfaithful to me later down the road?

[Sanesoul]

Your BF needs to keep his thoughts about this to himself. Most men check out other women, it's normal and healthy. But to actually tell you about it is pretty classless and immature.

 

I don't know if it as indication of future infidelity, but it's definitely tacky.

[JM87]

Most guys check out other girls, its in their nature unfortunately. However, i have a boyfriend, love him to pieces but still look at other guys. Thats doesn't mean i am going to run off and jump into bed with them. U should try not to worry too much and think to yourself, hes with you at the end of the day and if he wanted to be any of these girls he checks out, then he probably would have done by now.

[k4ppa]

There is nothing wrong with looking around, although I find it disrespectful if it's like a prolonged awe at their assets.

[hexaemeron]

My boyfriend tells me he sometimes checks girls out.

 

Do you never check guys out walking down the street? Cmon.

 

It’s not just the face he pays the most attention to, but the size of their boobs and the rest of their body.

 

Of course. This is exceptionally normal, within reason.

 

I feel very uncomfortable whenever I hear this. I don’t know if this is a sign that he isn’t getting enough from me or what is it? I mean, if I really satisfy him like he claims, then wouldn’t he just keep his eyes to himself?

 

Why does the fact he has momentary views of someone else out in the world suddenly mean that you're broken and unsatisfying? That's a projection fear from you, not something his actions are telling you.

 

I’ve been feeling very down about this lately. I don’t know how to act or feel on this matter. If I let it bother me too much then it’d be like I’m making it into a big deal, yet it kills me knowing that my man is staring at other girls. Give me some advice. Should I be cautious that he may be unfaithful to me later down the road?

 

Again, I ask. Have you never looked at a guy on the street and thought he was attractive? Should he be tied in knots wondering if you're going to bounce or cheat on him? I mean, I don't want to sound harsh here, but the way you're describing this, you sound really needy, like he's SOLELY responsible for your self-image and confidence. You cannot push that responsibility to another person. That's your job. And as long as he's doing what he's doing in a respectful manner, and it's not affecting his feelings for you, then why fault him for behavior you almost certainly do yourself?

[JM87]

Your BF needs to keep his thoughts about this to himself. Most men check out other women, it's normal and healthy. But to actually tell you about it is pretty classless and immature.

 

I don't know if it as indication of future infidelity, but it's definitely tacky.

 

Agreed..its what most men do, however he shouldn't really be telling you as ofcourse you would feel uncomfortable about it.

[Lecturer]

If you're hungry for cookies, will you not pay attention to commercials for burgers, or pizza, or cake, or any other good thing?

 

Just because he pays attention to physical aspects of other women doesn't mean he will cheat. The only concern, IMO, is if he does it in a creepy or disrespectful way.. particularly if you are around. If he did, then you would be well within your right to tell him, "Don't gawk at other women when you're with me.. you make me feel worthless and you make yourself look like a jerk."

 

If he has a drive where he is checking out other women, it could even be thought of as a good thing. He could be seeing them and then it reminds him of what he's got, which excites him for you.

[lovegame]

He tells me it's a natural thing, that all "men" do this, but at the same time, I feel like he does it all the time? Or maybe, he just tells me whenever he does it, but still it makes me feel very insecure. I guess I'm just thinking too much, maybe it isn't as bad as it sounds like.

[hexaemeron]

Agreed..its what most men do, however he shouldn't really be telling you as ofcourse you would feel uncomfortable about it.

 

Well, I disagree. Don't people say you should have total honesty? I actually applaud him for being brave enough to be that honest. Honesty doesn't mean "Only what I like to hear and what will make me feel best."

[FathomFear]

Agreed..its what most men do, however he shouldn't really be telling you as ofcourse you would feel uncomfortable about it.

 

It's what most people do. Not just men.

 

Attractive people are...attractive. That doesn't change if you're in or out of a relationship.

[JM87]

It's what most people do. Not just men.

 

Attractive people are...attractive. That doesn't change if you're in or out of a relationship.

 

If you read my post before, i said i have a boyfriend and yet i still look at other guys too. Its normal.

[Sanesoul]

Well, I disagree. Don't people say you should have total honesty? I actually applaud him for being brave enough to be that honest. Honesty doesn't mean "Only what I like to hear and what will make me feel best."

 

I believe in honesty, but I also think some things are unnecessary.

 

It's like a known fact. I know it, so I don't need you to tell me.

[itsallgrand]

A partner looking around doesn't reflect on you. It doesn't say anything about you; just them.

 

I think it's a matter of degree and whether it is respectful of your feelings and relationship or not. Of course if this is a longer term relationship that is fully committed, a person might expect a little bit more in terms of not looking while around you and not mentioning it.

 

First couple dates or a FWB situation, less expectations.

 

But I think it is a bad sign if it starts to take away from the time you spend together. I mean, I think it is reasonable to go to a restaurant with your beau and not have him looking around at other women but concentrating on you.

 

I give a little more leeway when it is a trip to a beach with tiny bikinis and such. lol. You have to find your own balance of what you think is ok.

 

So what are we talking here? Does he have trouble hearing what you are saying when with him because his concentration is off gawking?

[AbombSnowMan]

Well, I disagree. Don't people say you should have total honesty? I actually applaud him for being brave enough to be that honest. Honesty doesn't mean "Only what I like to hear and what will make me feel best."

 

honesty is good of course but still there are some things that should be kept to yourself. It she asks then fine answer her truthfully, but if she doesn't ask then don't go out of your way to tell her. Idk about you but I don't go out of my way to tell my gf that I masturbated to some chick on the internet, she would rather i keep it to myself. Honesty also doesn't mean "i have to tell my gf my every sexual thought i've ever had about a random girl i see walking down the street" I don't think hes being brave ethier i think hes being kinda disrespectful. Of course hes gonna look you can't stop that but no need to announce it to your girlfriend every time.

[jul-els]

Well, I disagree. Don't people say you should have total honesty? I actually applaud him for being brave enough to be that honest. Honesty doesn't mean "Only what I like to hear and what will make me feel best."

 

There's honesty and there's tact. A respectful person knows how to balance the two.