Mother's staying at the house, Sexually Stressed now..,

[arcadefire]

To make doubly sure she won't come back, you and your bf should be in the middle of hot sex while she walks in. Just kidding, but that would be a funny scenario. Your mom sounds like my mom, stubborn, conservative, immature. I can totally see my mom concocting this scenario just to get under my skin. To combat it, live your own life!

[sugardonut]

I agree with the above poster - make sure to have loud, hot sex in the middle of the night. Just lock your door this time so she can't interrupt you. Your house, your rules, baby.

[SilentSnow]

it was rocky. She came in and wondered where her bags went and we sat her down and talked.

 

We were basically said that in troubles we're always will to help her out, but she over stayed he welcome and she has to go, her bags are at home.

 

She got upset that we were kicking her out calling us rude, but we counter back saying that she was rude by insulting our sex life.

 

I led her to the cab saying she should mend things with daddy. And For some reason before she left, she slapped saying that I'm a "rude Child".

 

That hurts (Emotionally and Physically) and I guess we're not talking for a while again.

 

What Can I do about her?

[annie24]

i'm sorry that she's like this. it's her, not you. for now, i think you should be relieved, and it's probably not a bad idea to let things settle down. i wouldn't invite her stay with you guys again. i don't know how far away she lives, but from now on, she stays at a hotel!

[SilentSnow]

i'm sorry that she's like this. it's her, not you. for now, i think you should be relieved, and it's probably not a bad idea to let things settle down. i wouldn't invite her stay with you guys again. i don't know how far away she lives, but from now on, she stays at a hotel!

 

I don't know If it's the time my parents were born but, I was told that back in the day "Children were meant to be seen not heard." Maybe Their attitude is somewhat like that quote.

[annie24]

yes, but those days are over. you are an adult, not a child. an adult in a serious, loving relationship. it's none of her business what you guys do as a couple. now that she's gone, time to whip out the lube and sex toys!!!

[nutbrownhare]

I led her to the cab saying she should mend things with daddy. And For some reason before she left, she slapped saying that I'm a "rude Child".

 

That hurts (Emotionally and Physically) and I guess we're not talking for a while again.

 

What Can I do about her?

There's nothing you can do to change her; you just need to be very, very clear about your own boundaries and not let her trample all over them, in an emotional sense.

 

Remind yourself - the way she behaves is a reflection of who she is, and not who you are.

 

And when other people tell us that we're 'rude', 'insensitive', 'selfish' ... you know the rest ... what they are saying by implication is: 'You're not doing what I want you to do!' In this case you very clearly weren't letting her stay at your house for free, making your lives a misery and poking her nose in where it wasn't wanted.

 

Did she utter one word of thanks for your efforts to help her? No? Then sit back and ask who's REALLY being rude here. (By the way, it's not you or your guy!)

 

I understand that she's your mother, and after a lifetime of being treated like this you will have certain 'buttons' that she knows how to press, and it must have taken a lot of courage to act as you have acted.

 

Now you need to disconnect those buttons; you can't change her, but you can take care of yourself.

 

(((HUGS)))

[KG]

SS,

You've taken a bold first move, congratulations! Now live your life with your boyfriend, and let her live hers. You've set boundaries, and she will likely not cross you anytime soon.

Good luck!

KG