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Girl I like at College.


Panther_Dude

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I don't wanna post this under emotions and feelings, as I think it's a bit better suited here.

 

There's this woman I like in my math class at community college. I've been to her myspace a few times (not a friend of hers on there and her profile is private). She's like Latino and like in her mid 20's. I find her attractive. But she has a kid and I have no job, live at home, no car, etc.

 

I feel sad and a bit depressed now. I don't like talking at all. Have a speech problem and I begin taking public speaking at CC next week. I'm basically anti-social now. Basically, today I saw her and was like 'Wow' Then started getting depressed cause I know there's no way in hell she will even consider going out with me. What do I do? I know what I am gonna do. I'm not gonna say anything to her, I'm probably gonna fail Public Speaking or pass it with a attitude, and gonna die a virgin. But hey, still offer your wisdom(advice).

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Choose one of the following

 

1.) Be depressed because you were too scared to talk to her and thereby missed a chance at happieness

 

2.) Be depressed because you did get some balls, you talked to her but she didn't like you.

 

3.) Be happy because you talked to her and you are going out soon

 

4.) Be happy because you talked to her, she turned you down, but at least you tried and next time with someone else it will be easier.

 

As to the rest of your post. You seriously need to try to think more positive about things. Your thinking affects your actions and it affects how others see you. Sure things are bad right now, but you DO have the power to turn things around. Get started!!!

Put your head down, focus, try hard, get an A on your public speaking class and then go kick some serious a$$. You have the power.

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Panther, I have a serious question for you. Know I mean no offense and I have followed your threads.

 

Do you want to be happy, honestly?

 

 

Let's put it this way. Favorite tv shows, certain movies, food, playing a game of 21 (basketball), buying a dvd or blu-ray movie, music(although this one can go both ways), playing with my cats...all make me happy. But when I think about women...and life....it can easily go all down the drain.

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Let's put it this way. Favorite tv shows, certain movies, food, playing a game of 21 (basketball), buying a dvd or blu-ray movie, music(although this one can go both ways), playing with my cats...all make me happy. But when I think about women...and life....it can easily go all down the drain.

 

What about how you view yourself? Your passions, your opinions, your beliefs, your appearance, your intelligence, your compassion? How do you feel about those?

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I think that you need to stop with the self loathing and talk to the girl, you claim you like this girl but you dont give any indication that you know anything about her other than her vital stats. Eventually you are going to have to talk to women.

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Panther,

 

What I suggest is to start reading and learning basic techniques that will help you overcome your fears in social situations as well as public speaking. Start out small. Do you get nervous around just women? Or just anyone in general?

 

Practicing speaking to strangers especially women you find attractive could be daunting but if you practice speaking to people you don't feel so threatened you can gain confidence and speak to them without any fear. After all they are just another person like yourself.

 

That's where I would begin. I don't know what your hobbies and interests are but expand on them, learn new things, change your lifestyle, from different clothes, nice haircuts and get feedbacks from people on how you carry yourself. Do you workout? Martial arts? All physical activities will keep your mind refreshed while making you look healthier and stronger.

 

You need to change your thoughts, it will be the result of who you are. Don't beat yourself down, we all have our own problems we need to overcome. The more you learn about yourself, your strength and weakness and continue to improve them (even your strengths) you'll only benefit from it.

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That is not true. I used to work out...it didn't always make me feel good. I quit working out due to lack of job, emotions, and bad sleep habits taking it's toll on me. One day I work out again...and I will change my workout style and try harder.

 

As for speaking in general. I dislike it. I have a speech problem. In public, like at school or anywhere that isn't home...my speech varies. I have little desire to fix my speech and try for American accent. Spent ages 5-17 and 6 speech teachers overall during that time...may had made it worse. I mean, when a Russian woman asks where you are from...you know that ain't good. Although, on the other hand, I guess it's awesome confusing a foreigner like that.

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Nothing wrong with accents, I myself learned English as a second language, some people catch the accent while others don't. Problem for me is grammar and speaking in a way that the other person will understand. Each language is very different in its own sense and sometimes translations and what you learned could be interpreted differently. I've taken ESL's back in school, struggled to speak to others openly for many years.

 

If it's an obstacle you want to overcome, you have to work at it but do so in baby steps. The more you practice, the better you'll become. Don't give up

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Your in college and your in the same class. "Did you do the homework she assigned? Beacuse I forgot it let me copy yours pleaseEeeeeeee, nah just kidding but since I didn't do it what was we supposed to do beacuse I paid all this money and don't want to fail" there's your opener. Now everyday after you say this make sure to smile at her and casually talk you'll get somewhere just don't look desperate do it real slick like

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