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Temper Tantrums!!!!!


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Argh!! So, my little man has come into quite a temper. He screams and goes all stiff and throws his head back. He doesnt want you to hold him, if you try to touch him be bats your hand away. If you try to distract him with a favorite toy, sippy cup, bottle, snack, he bats it all away or throws it in the floor. I'm not sure what to do. He was very tired last night, even though he took a nap at daycare, he is always tired in the evening. But last night he had 2 of these tantrums! When we get home, he'll play for a little bit while I cook dinner. He's usually hungary, so I immediately start cooking. So, he had dinner and we usually have an hour or so of playtime before he has his bath. Right in the middle of playing ball, he just starts screaming. I was sitting in the floor with him and we were happy and playing and then bam! He wouldnt let me pick him up. He batted my hands and toys away. So, I got up and started getting ready to give him a bath. He was rubbing his eyes and I knew he was tired. So, he crawls around following me screaming like a banshee as I get his bath stuff ready. I guess he was over it by the time I stuck him in his bath, because he calmed down. We finished bath, had a bottle, read a story and I put him to bed. He went right to sleep with no fussing. Then an hour later, he wakes up and starts screaming again. I went in to get him and he threw himself backwards and his whole body went stiff. He wouldnt let me hold him. So, I sat him in the floor and went to heat up a bottle. Finally the bottle calmed him down and he went back to bed. He woke a couple of times (4) through the night and fussed for a couple of seconds then went back to sleep.

 

Are these temper tantrums? Why would be have one when he was sleeping? What do I do when this happens?

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Anything is possible, but he's not covering his ear or pulling on it, like he did when he had an ear infection. He is teething. I read that being hungary and overly tired are the biggest triggers and he was pretty tired. I'm curious as to the one he had while sleeping. I wonder if he rolled over into the side of his crib, bonked his head, and woke up mad? hmmm....with infants it's a guessing game...a hard guessing game.

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Teething could cause babies to act up because it probably hurts them. That could be the issue, but then I am no expert since I've never had a baby or had to care for one on my own.

 

When you went to soothe him, did he calm down, or did he keep throwing tantrum?

 

Oh he kept right on screaming. I picked him up and he straightened his whole body out and went stiff and threw his head back. Nothing soothed him. I sat him in the floor of his room, put some toys around him and he knocked them all over and to the side. So, I just walked away into the kitchen and warmed up a bottle. He crawled into the kitchen still screaming.

 

You know, I think that just giving him space and letting him get his emotions out may be the best way to handle it. The first time he did it, I called my mom. So, my attention was elsewhere. He crawled right up to me and wanted to be held. So, I picked him up and he started calming down.

 

Is it bad to just walk away and let him get it out, then hug him and love him when he's ready?

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I heard somewhere that a big reason for temper tantrums is that they can't tell you what they want, so the problem goes unsolved. I heard that if you use some basic sign language while talking to them (ie, say "you want milk?" & show them the hand signal for milk) then they will learn those hand signals & can communicate with you earlier, before they are ever able to speak. Maybe learn (or just make up) some hand signals for their favorite foods, drinks, & things like "tired", "hurt" and "play".

 

Of course, that means you would have to learn some sign language!

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The tantrums are part of the age. I usually tell my son in a soothing tone, that "it's ok" (to let him know that I understand he is upset). Then I do some ignoring until he gains emotional control again.

 

However if he keeps waking up at night something more could be bothering him: nightmares, a tummy ache, seperation anxiety, teething, etc.

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I am thinking it could be some kind of anxiety or frustration. Like Alli said maybe teach him sign language...my sister in law did that with her kids and they were a lot less frustrated and had less temper issues than most kids. I am sorry Cat, you seem barraged on all sides lately. I am sure Landon feels some of what you are feeling cause babies are very intuitive. I know it is hard, but this too shall pass.

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When ds was little and he would 'act' up, I would aknowledge he was upset, try to sign with him to see what he wanted. Sometimes he would point at something, then there were times he was uncontrollable in those times I'd pull my attention away, when he seen I wasn't paying attention to him. he'd settle down. The crying is hard to ignore at times, as long as there isn't anything physically wrong, I'd let him cry it out

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I am thinking it could be some kind of anxiety or frustration. Like Alli said maybe teach him sign language...my sister in law did that with her kids and they were a lot less frustrated and had less temper issues than most kids. I am sorry Cat, you seem barraged on all sides lately. I am sure Landon feels some of what you are feeling cause babies are very intuitive. I know it is hard, but this too shall pass.

 

Actually I think I handled it quite well. They didnt last long and by giving him space, the ability to yell and scream and get his frustration out, he was able to calm down and let he hug him and love him.

 

I'm sure that he is intuiting what I feel. This is why when I leave work and I'm driving home, I try to empty my mind and let it go. I crank up the radio and sing and scream at the top of my lungs. Then laugh like a loon at myself. lol Sounds crazy, but by the time I get there to pick him, I am feeling good and looking forward to our evening together. We play and sing and act silly and do what we usually do. I am trying as hard as I can to keep a calm, peaceful, stable and consistant home for him.

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Actually I think I handled it quite well. They didnt last long and by giving him space, the ability to yell and scream and get his frustration out, he was able to calm down and let he hug him and love him.

 

I'm sure that he is intuiting what I feel. This is why when I leave work and I'm driving home, I try to empty my mind and let it go. I crank up the radio and sing and scream at the top of my lungs. Then laugh like a loon at myself. lol Sounds crazy, but by the time I get there to pick him, I am feeling good and looking forward to our evening together. We play and sing and act silly and do what we usually do. I am trying as hard as I can to keep a calm, peaceful, stable and consistant home for him.

 

I am sure you did a great job. Just try sign language it does help because there are bigger tantrums to come believe me.

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oh god! That's what scares me!! How do I teach him to sign?

 

I think you just say the word and show him the sign for it at the same time. For instance, if you're going to give him juice, say "juice", show him the sign, then give him the juice. He will probably connect those 3 things pretty quickly.

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oh god! That's what scares me!! How do I teach him to sign?

 

I will call my SIL tonight and see if she has some web pages she used. LOL.....wait till Landon goes into full meltdown mode and is mobile in a store or otherwise in public...that is a REAL treat. I remember when Ryan was a year old he was absolutely in LOVE with the teletubbies. He saw one it in a store and was gesturing in the buggy. Stupid mommy let him see it. Well NOW try and get it back. Yeah, right! He started screaming like he was being murdered with an axe. He had the most shrill scream I have ever heard. People all over stared as I had to try and shake off this screaming clinging baby off a box. My mother was with me and she had to buy it cause it was all SO mortifying. Then when he hit two OMGGGGGGGGGG the tatrums then I do not know how that kid is still living..............LOL SOmetimes I used to walk out of the store and saying NOPE not my kid...........LOL.....as he ran after me screaming ...MAMA MAMA MAMA

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Thank you Alli!! What about feelings? Like hurt or pain? I am very good at reading his body language, so I can usually figure out if he's hungary, sleepy, etc. But if something is hurting him, I have no idea.

 

How do I get him to tell me if something hurts? What sign do I use for pain and how do I teach him that what it means?

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LMAO! The mental picture that I just got from that is hilarious! I would like to get ahead of the tantrums if that's possible. So, that I'm not caught off guard like that.

 

Oh yeah it was real hilarious.....lol Now I am starting to get the teenage tantrums....... The other night I told him do something and he gave me a dirty look and slammed a door. I walked up to him and said....."and you are who again? Who is the boss here? " And he says " You" and I said..."uh yeah....I think you forgot that.....so you remember who you are talking to and do NOT slam my doors" So then he stomped his feet and walked to the door........little weiner....I let it go and about half hour later he burst into tears and said, " I am sorry mom." I said...." it is ok, I love you forever and always."

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It does sound like he's overtired or most likely, teething. The sign language idea is fantastic, especially if he understands the concept of pain (owie?), if he's teething.

 

You handled it well by ignoring him. The more people pander to temper tantrums, the worse it will get. Even trying to distract by mollifying them, gets them the audience they want.

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It does sound like he's overtired or most likely, teething. The sign language idea is fantastic, especially if he understands the concept of pain (owie?), if he's teething.

 

You handled it well by ignoring him. The more people pander to temper tantrums, the worse it will get. Even trying to distract by mollifying them, gets them the audience they want.

 

Thank you! Any ideas on how to teach him to sign when he hurts somewhere? It's a great idea if I can get him to understand.

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Thank you! Any ideas on how to teach him to sign when he hurts somewhere? It's a great idea if I can get him to understand. next time either you or he gets an owie, mime pain/sadness and use the sign. If you're consistent with this, he should pick it up. These little muffins are smarter than we adults sometimes give them credit for!
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