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Trust issues...


pickles11

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So 6 years ago my dad got caught cheating on my mom..The whole time he was with this other woman I knew.. But of course I am completely a daddys girls and never said anything.. But I just knew he had something going on...When it finally came out in the open I was hurt.. I was devestated. But I moved on.. In a way I always had his back.. Until now.. Until I stepped back after my BF needs space.. I realized i pushed him away because i still cant trust him.. Hes never given me any reason to dis-trust him..Ive lived with him for the last 3 years and hes always been there.. but in a weird way he acts like my dad.. he seems sneaky on the phone and the phones always on silent and just SOO like my dad.. The only difference is my dad would make excuses to be with his lady.. My BF is always with me.. we havent been apart since we met... But my question is... I know exs that cheat always seem to come back and hurt relationships.. but is it normal to have my father as the reason why i feel like i push him away.. and this push is to the point where he doesnt want to be with me right now.. Im hurt.. Im torn.. I just need to know if this is common..

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It may sound strange but I'm glad to hear what you said about your dad and how you feel. Our son is 7 and he my ex has cheated on me. We were not even broken up a few weeks before he started taking him to visit his other women he knew, which I have never met in the 7 years we were together. Now my ex has his ex he cheated on me with in our home all the time and around our son, spending the night. We have been broken up not even 6 monts. Our son cries when he is with me because he said it bothers him to see his mom and dad apart. I am hurting but dont say anything to my ex. Anyway, I want to know, do you still feel the hurt from this? Reason I ask is because my ex and this woman and my ex's family sit and act as if it's nothing. I know my son hurts inside. Does your dad's cheating still effect you today? No one sees the hurt my son goes thru and if I say anything my ex will only say Im lying. Did it ever come out to your dad how he hurt you?

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I never said a word of it to my dad... And at the moment cant deal with telling him.. I had the hardest time calling my mother to tell her the reasons why we are taking a break.. because i pushed him away because i felt like he would hurt me like my dad hurt my mom.. This is the first serious relationship i have had since that incident and i do have to say it ruined the best thing i had... All because my dad was my world.. i mean how do all kids see their dad.. I mean hes there to take care of you and you would trust him with the world.. And its hard to bring into a relationship because you are looking for someone to be the world to you again.. and all i can see is the hurt.. It took me along time to figure this out.. And i want my dad to know how much he hurt me.. we never spoke about it since that day.. and now i want him to know how miserable he made me.. I dont even think if we addressed this years ago it would help.. I know i should forget the past but its just too hard...

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Hey. I understand how you feel. It is just hard for me to deal with him hurting me and my child feels the way you do about his dad do I know he hurts even more. Try to get back with your boyfriend. This could be a blessing sent to you. Someone who is right for you and who will probably never cheat. I know you have a hard time with trust issues.

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my father was a serial cheater when he was with my mom, she suffered 17yrs of it and now at 22 yrs old I am being affected by it, I doubt everything my bf tells me..I live thinking that nothing is perfect, so if it seems perfect I try to find something wrong with it..it is really really horrible.....I wish you luck bc I know its hard..

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If he hasn't done anything suspicious, find a good counselor so you can get help getting over your dad's betrayal.

 

If what he does IS suspicious, snoop to reassure yourself there's nothing (or there is), and then decide what to do.

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