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Girl is claiming to have made out with my boyfriend.. don't know who to believe...


Haze

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I am so worried right now, my boyfriend whom I have been seeing for 6 months and who I have had several rough patches with just called me to tell me that this girl is saying that she made out with him saturday night at this party. He was talking to his best friend who was hanging out with said girl today, and apparently they made out while my boyfriend was drunk. He says he doesn't remember a single thing from that night, he was black-out drunk, and I believe that part of the story because I actually talked to him that night and by about 2 am he was pretty incoherent. I wasn't at the party though, I was out with a girlfriend.

 

I also heard from a friend two days ago that a girl was hitting on him a lot at this party and wanted to hook up with him but he was trying to avoid her, he didn't want anything to do with her. This I know is true because I actually have a witness =P But that was earlier in the night, I still have no idea what happened later.

 

He has never given me ANY reason to distrust him, we have always been so honest with each other. He says that he can't remember what happened that night but he's pretty sure he would remember if he made out with someone. I don't really know what to make of this. He also ended our phone conversation kind of rudely when I told him I was really unsure about this, he said he didn't have time to deal with this right now and that he had stuff to do.

 

I really don't know what to do, I don't think this girl would be stupid enough to claim something like that if it wasn't true, but then again I don't know her at all. I've never met her and he says he didn't even remember her name.

 

What if something did happen, and he just really honestly couldn't remember it? Does that make him untrustworthy? Does it mean he doesn't have feelings for me if he is unconsciously making out with other girls?? I don't understand this because I have never been that drunk before but I really don't want to have a reason to lose my trust for him =( I wish I could find someone who saw this happen if it did, because as of right now there is no way of being able to tell who is telling the truth.

 

I thought me and him were doing so well, I was even going to tell him I love him for the first time this weekend but now this sh*t has come up... ](*,)

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I think in the back of his mind he probably thought that he made out with her but was unsure because he was drunk. But being drunk is never an excuse for anything (like drunk driving and killing someone for example.) So in my mind, he has already lost my trust because if you were drunk, would you have done the same as him? It's determined on the strength of your character, not on alcohol.

 

However, the way he handled the end of the phone call (being rude and cutting you off) makes me suspect. If he really wanted to keep you, he would spend as much time as he needed to make sure you can trust him again. At this point if you don't have much evidence then it's his word against this girl's.

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Whether or not the makeout actually happened, now might be the time to revaluate this relationship because if your BF makes a habit of this

 

He says he doesn't remember a single thing from that night, he was black-out drunk

 

It's a problem if he can't be in control of his own actions/safety. Or know if he's making out with someone. She's pretty gross for needing to make out with someone who is nearly unconscious.

 

If you decide to look past this current incident, you should have a talk with him about whether he plans to contiune this kind of behavior.

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It's a problem if he can't be in control of his own actions/safety. Or know if he's making out with someone. She's pretty gross for needing to make out with someone who is nearly unconscious.

.

 

I agree. People can make up stories about making out but I would be more worried about his willingness/lack of judgement to get that drunk.

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I made a horrible and terrible mistake when in that state of mind once. I cheated on someone I loved, though I never, ever would have done it sober. Is being drunk an excuse? Not at all. But I don't agree that people say your drunk actions are your sober wants or whatever. I regreted it so much and couldn't believe I had let myself get to that point. I only remembered bits and pieces of that night but whenever I did I would get literally sick to my stomach because of the guilt. So from my experience I know I F'ed up BIG time, but it didn't mean at all that I didn't love my bf.

 

There is also something to be said that he told you about this instead of letting you find out from someone else. I guess from my past mistake, that I will forever regret, is that even if it did happen it didn't necessarily mean anything, though of course that doesn't mean he should get away with it and hang up the phone if you aren't comfortable right away. I think you guys need to have a serious talk and make sure you two are on the same page and want the same things out of the relationship.

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Personally, I'd question whether I want to continue dating someone who gets black-out drunk.

 

Agreed. It'd be a red flag for me.

 

Furthermore, I'd be hesitant to believe the "I can't remember a thing from last night" line (sort of like the Hangover movie). Maybe it's true in cases, I don't know. But it seems to be more of using an Escape card than actually not remembering a single thing.

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