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what's sexier: outgoing girl or an outsider?


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Maybe it's less of a threat, it could be anyone, people that are social and open are more approachable from a stranger's standpoint. As for your question, I don't think it's a turnoff at all even if you're not. Some will find that just as attractive

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I have noticed that many outgoing people are actually very superficial...not much depth to them and over time they can be really boring because you can't carry on a meaningful conversation with them..they are just so used to fluff. So they may attract a lot of attention but the ones who are attracted to the superficiality of the outgoing person will not be the right kind of person for the quieter, deeper person.

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I'm very outgoing, but I don't think that makes me superficial. I can hold a deep, meaningful conversation just as easily as I can chat with the person in line with me at the grocery store.

 

OP, I think it's just a personal preference. Some introverted people will want someone outgoing to balance them out, and some will want another introvert to compliment them. Same with extroverts. There's no preferential way to be really.

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Outgoing is definitely sexier to me! But like other people have said, it is personal preference, what appeals to some people doesn't appeal to others.

 

I also noticed that some people touched on the suppossed superficial nature of outgoing people. I believe that this is a generalization that doesn't necessarily have much truth to it. In general outgoing people are just as supericial as quiet people are boring.

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I noticed super social girls get much more attention. Although I can be the center of the party between good friends, with everyday people I'm not really like that, I'd rather be a wallflower. Can this be a turn off?

 

Not at all !! I prefer quiet women. Wallflowers even (as long as I find them somehow cute.)

I might find the outgoing women attractive, but I never find them as interesting as the quiet thoughtful ones. And I can't stand loudmouth women, no matter how hot they are. Outgoing women are only good when they're easy-going and a great laugh.

But quiet is more sexy still. ..my view..

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I have a pretty big personality so I need someone who has a big personality too, otherwise people just get steamrolled right over by me. Even my partner, who is quite strong in that department has told me before that he feels like he's in my shadow sometimes or "just hex's boyfriend."

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I have noticed that many outgoing people are actually very superficial...not much depth to them and over time they can be really boring because you can't carry on a meaningful conversation with them..they are just so used to fluff. So they may attract a lot of attention but the ones who are attracted to the superficiality of the outgoing person will not be the right kind of person for the quieter, deeper person.

 

Just because a person's outgoing doesn't mean they don't have depth. I think for a lot of outgoing people it may seem like that, but I have been able to have meaningful conversations with outgoing people.

 

OP, I prefer quieter people myself just because I feel we're more compatibility that way. My ex liked to go out and party a lot and it wasn't really my thing. I never wanted to go with her.

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Quite a mixed bag here.

Interesting thread.

 

 

I guess it depends what is looked at as outgoing....

For instance, I know bubbly people who don't like going out, getting drunk, grinding up against whoever's junk.

 

Actually there is one ENA member in particular which fits this description.

But I don't know where she's gone.

 

....I actually miss her

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outgoing = talkative, energetic and interested in people,

me = not a fan of small talk, bored with casual questions just to keep the conversation going "where are you from, what do you do?"

 

This is an odd definition of things. I mean, I get what you're saying, but I'm not sure I go along with how you've put this.

 

Because I have a kind of short attention span and tolerance for small talk and superficial blabbering (though I can pull it off pretty well -- it's just painful to do so)...yet I'm "interested in people." By your wording, someone is either energetic and is interested in people OR they are bored with small talk (i.e., "people"??). I don't see these have to be mutually exclusive at all.

 

Maybe you mean "talkative" vs. "not saying much?" Those are more like true opposites.

 

I think you can even be talkative and bored with small talk at the same time.

 

Which would kind of be me. In larger groups, I tend to be the quiet one and just observe. But once I'm talking to a person, or a small handful of people, my inner imp comes out to play and I can be bubbly, gregarious or talkative, depending on how comfortable I've become with the topic and especially, the people. The more trusting I feel of the company I'm with, the more likely I am to be doing a good bit of talking. But I usually start out shy, and feel this is sort of my default. It takes a while to warm up, for me, and after I've felt the situation out a bit. I really do like to sit back and listen a lot. If the topic is boring or not my style, I quietly zone out too, lol.

 

I know this doesn't answer your question, OP, but as a woman I'm just putting in my 2 cents. I tend to like others that are this way, too. Someone who can be reserved and quiet, but under the right influences, comes alive with animation.

 

Better too outsider and shy than too talkative and loud and in-your-face.

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Quite a mixed bag here.

Interesting thread.

 

 

I guess it depends what is looked at as outgoing....

For instance, I know bubbly people who don't like going out, getting drunk, grinding up against whoever's junk.

 

Actually there is one ENA member in particular which fits this description.

But I don't know where she's gone.

 

....I actually miss her

 

outgoing = going out, getting drunk and grinding on junk? i think you have a misconception of what that is.

 

but i agree, i don't want someone that needs to do that all the time. but i'd like to go out and have drinks with a girl and dance with her. i like going out and being social.

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I guess I was just getting insecure around people who always have something to say, talk about. I was thinking: wow she's so entertaining, I felt like I'm boring. And I have my moments of constant yapping too - but that's with good freinds, I can't really sparkle a conversation with whomever, although it depends a lot on where the other person thakes it.

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