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Today I'm really struggling all around, but it always comes back to the same thing. He is gone...and i'm still in shock when I actually sit and think about this concept. I am starting to realize that, and also I'm frightened of living with out him. I'm trying to forget the good things, which really should have occurred more than they did. I feel like I'm to scared to move on...i don't even want to leave my comfort zone (home).... there is always that moment where I wonder.... about if i hadn't left...and really thats what is breaking my spirits, especially on a day like today when I'm already feeling self-conscious and doubting myself because of my schooling, so it makes me want to run to him. Would he be there, was he ever really there? I remember nights where I was hurting like tonight, and he always left to hang out with his friends....I mean honestly i think that is what I am constantly analysing is "what if the love of my life, wasn't even love??? I mean he has been the last 4 years of my life....not sure how to adapt to being single I guess. I'm trying to learn more about myself, so that I can work on my weaknesses...and i'm searching for that hope so that I can work on my goals, and know that I will meet mr. right. Does anyone ever fear that they will miss him, I stay to myself so much I'm afraid I might be alone the rest of my life....

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Hi. Im sorry you have to go through this. I am currently going through the same thing. yes I fear that I will miss him for the rest of my life. I am graduating soon and we had a plan together and now that plan is gone. I am scared to head in to the real world alone. But you know what, we arent alone and we will survive. Its hard for me to realize this now, but we will. And we will both find great guys... later on in life. I guess all we can do is just hang in there for now. People keep telling me that time heals all wounds...

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