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MissAnnie

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I have been dating my current boyfriend for about a month and a half, but we have been taking it VERY slow. We met online, and I really wanted to get to know him before we became more intimate.

 

I am feeling ready to move forward in this area, however I am a bit nervous because he doesn't know I have breast implants. I have only been with two men since getting the implants....one knew I had them because we were dating when I had the surgery, the other one claimed he didn't know til I told him, but then said he could kind of tell because they look different when I am laying on my back. He was kind of upset when I told him, and though he didn't say it, I thought he may have been disappointed or felt betrayed.

 

They are only a B-cup, so I think most people assume they are natural due to the stereotype of fake boobs all being of Pamela Anderson proportion. Should I tell my boyfriend up front, or should I just be honest when/if he asks? I don't want to be deceptive, but I also feel like if I tell him before he sees me naked, he will be looking at them more closely, or inspecting them for signs of fakeness.

 

Men....how would you prefer to find out?

 

Women...have any of you been faced with this predicament?

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I think you should tell him straight up. I have a preference not to date women that have implants, and would feel like I was being duped if it was hidden from me. However, if I met someone that had them, got to know them and then they told me before I discovered for myself, I wouldn't stop seeing them just because of it.

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Ok....

 

He is obviously not a huge boob guy, because I am only a B-cup, so hopefully he won't be too disappointed that they are implants.

 

Any suggestions on how to bring this up? I think a lot people have preconceived notions about implants, or they "type" of women who get them so I want to be able to explain my choices to him. We have spent a lot of time talking and getting to know each other, but I don't want him to think that I am someone I am not due to plastic surgery.

 

I am kind of a feminist hippie, and his is kind of a hippie-type, so most people are shocked when they find out.

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I don't know ... I'd kind of feel like it was your body, and thus your own business, not mine. I don't think you have any obligation to go into it whatsoever, but if you'd like to (for whatever reason) then just say it directly.

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I don't know ... I'd kind of feel like it was your body, and thus your own business, not mine. I don't think you have any obligation to go into it whatsoever, but if you'd like to (for whatever reason) then just say it directly.

 

See.....this is kind of how I feel about it, but it seems like most people, in my life and in the replies, feel that by not saying something I am being dishonest.

 

I don't know..I mean how far should people go with that? I had braces as a child and have had my teeth whitened too.......but I don't feel compelled to inform him that my mouth isn't natural.

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Why not ask him how he would feel if he found out a girl had breast implants and take it from there?

 

I don't want to put him on the spot. What if he says he hates them? I would feel bad, and it would make him feel like a jerk. I think many people kind of hate the idea of breast implants in general....but would not break up with someone who got small natural looking implants several years ago.

 

I mean, I hate the idea of hair plugs..and would say so if asked, but if I met a guy who had really good hair plug surgery prior to meeting me, and I found out, I certainly wouldn't dump him.

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See.....this is kind of how I feel about it, but it seems like most people, in my life and in the replies, feel that by not saying something I am being dishonest.

 

I don't know..I mean how far should people go with that? I had braces as a child and have had my teeth whitened too.......but I don't feel compelled to inform him that my mouth isn't natural.

 

I absolutely do not feel that it is "dishonest". Your body is yours alone, and nobody has the "right" to any kind of disclosure about it. If I were you I'd not bring it up for any reason other than some kind of genuine desire to discuss it - not out of a misguidedly guilty feeling that you need to somehow "warn" them, certainly. You don't need to explain or justify yourself to anyone.

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Not everyone hate the idea of breast implants, if it's done prior to you meeting him then he will have to just accept it. He may not even think too much about them to be honest. A lot of people have breast implants, and they've never had a problem.

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My personal feelings about it?

 

If a guy would dump me for having breast implants or for not "warning" him that I had them, I would say good riddance! There's nothing wrong with having a preference, but preferences aren't deal breakers if you really like and care about someone. Not preferences like breast size/type anyway (unless he's shallow). For instance, lets say you prefer a guy with a small nose, you find a guy who you like who also happens to have a small nose and later you find out he had a nose job. Would you think less of him or feel betrayed that he didn't tell you sonner? Expect to be treated as you woud treat someone else. If you want to tell him, that's okay. But I would NOT feel obligated to tell him upfront out of fear of rejection b/c I don't think you want to be with someone like that would you?

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I absolutely do not feel that it is "dishonest". Your body is yours alone, and nobody has the "right" to any kind of disclosure about it. If I were you I'd not bring it up for any reason other than some kind of genuine desire to discuss it - not out of a misguidedly guilty feeling that you need to somehow "warn" them, certainly. You don't need to explain or justify yourself to anyone.

 

I agree with this and with what anggrace said. I would not feel the need to tell someone that I had had a nose job, or any other kind of plastic surgery. I see how this may feel different, because he would likely be able to tell, but he can just take note of it and move on when he does see them.

 

If a guy has such a strong "preference" for natural that he would expect you to inform him that you had implants so that he could know not to date you, well ... I'll be honest and say that shocks me a bit. I feel that that is likely quite rare.

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Why not just enjoy the relationship and stop stressing about what he may or may not like. If and when your relationship progresses to that point, deal with it then. If he dumps you over a body part that is not his ideal, he isn't worth keeping anyway.

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My ex had implants. Her surgeon was an artist. He would not do huge stripper boobs, if that is what you wanted, you needed to go elsewhere. I have felt many real and many fake one's in my life. I could hardly tell, they were probably as close to real as you could get. By what you have said your doc sounds the same way. When I found out for sure it made no difference to me. I fell in love with her and who she was, not her chest.

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My ex had implants. Her surgeon was an artist. He would not do huge stripper boobs, if that is what you wanted, you needed to go elsewhere. I have felt many real and many fake one's in my life. I could hardly tell, they were probably as close to real as you could get. By what you have said your doc sounds the same way. When I found out for sure it made no difference to me. I fell in love with her and who she was, not her chest.

 

Yes..I think mine turned out great, and I purposely chose a surgeon that was known for the natural look. I think he will definitely find out for sure...I have been open about it with my friends and they came to visit me post-surgery and love to talk about how dopey I was due to the pain killers. Also, if he sees any old pictures of me it is pretty clear I previously had NOTHING up top.

 

I am pretty old fashioned and like to wait until I really know someone before having sex, so hopefully he already has feelings for me. I remember when I was newly single after first getting the implants I got hit on my guys who knew they were fake. I think many just wanted to sleep with me to check out the goods and see how the surgery turned out. Creepy!

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I guess if he would notice something was a little different when he sees you naked, you might want to give him a heads up beforehand. I mean, if your nature is to be open about things, it shouldn't be a big deal. I had stomach surgery so I have a scar and usually mention it before I end up in the bedroom. Once I didn't mention it till later and when I did tell him, he said he thought I had had a kid. So not saying anything made him have more questions and come to wrong conclusions. So yes, it's your own business but if you don't say anything, there will be some confusion or questions.

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