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So basically me and my girlfriend had been dating for a year and 8 months and last week she said she had some lunch thing come up on sunday. For some reason i got mad and told her that i pissed off that she told me the way she did and that her family didnt invite me since they know me so well. We then got into a fight because she was pissed off i was acting the way i was. Then she took some time and called me and told me she cant deal with this anymore and that we should break up. I am so hurt by all of this and we have always been amazing with each other through anything. I am realizing now how dumb i was for fighting about what i did because she has a life too and i didnt let myself realize that and i should have just accepted that she had other plans for a little. Please someone tell me if this has some truth to it? i feel like such an idiot for what i did and now i dont know how to begin to get her back because i love her so much still and i know she still has feelings for me but she just hasnt talked to me since we broke up because shes probably still hurt..im just so confused and i love this girl so much any thoughts on what to do next?? :sad:

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hey thanks and yea it did happen sometimes where i would overreact and i was trying to change..i just dont want to lose her because i was acting out and not bbeing fair to her..and i have given her space she broke it off last thusday when we got in the fight on last wednesday..how long will it take her to cool off because i just want to talk to her and she hasnt contacted me and i dont know when i should contact her i know now she needs space to understand everything but i still love this girl so much and i think she still loves me and i want to change!

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hey she didnt really ask for space she said it just got her so mad after all the times that she was done but i feel that she was feeding off of her anger and resentment..like wont she realize it was worth being with me because most of the time everything was fine btwn us!

and i know thats wat ive heard is to wait for her but i just want her to understand that i realize why she broke up with me know and that i accept her decision but then i dont know how to go from there to try and get her back. she is on a trip right now til saturday so should i wait til she gets back and then contact her?? i just miss talking to her and i dont want us to be apart..n i know i can try that but i just want to show her how much she means to me and that i can be better but i just dont know how..

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but you said in your other thread that you have already written her a very long apology letter, correct? her silence is saying she wants to be left alone in my opinion.

 

i would say maybe try to communicate with her a day or so after she returns from her trip, but don't beg, don't be angry, don't grovel, don't attempt to manipulate, or excessively throw your love all over her - see all these things are so hard to not do when your emotions are riding high. that is a big reason why no contact is recommended, until you yourself can communicate calmly and respectfully.

 

if you have already apologized for your outburst then i would say just leave her be, but others may have a different opinion of the situation.

 

if you do decide to go through with contacting her and apologizing do it ONE time. after that, leave her be. if she's gonna come back she will do it on her own. there is no way to 'make' her return.

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i mean i kinda apoligized right after the fight occurred so i think she didnt care whether or not i did because all the fights had added up in her mind..i was thinking that when she gets back ill try and call her to meet me and ill give her a short handwritten letter just expressing that i know why she broke up with me and i accept it and i dont know really what else to say, like i dont know if its a good idea to say i still love you or anything cause she knows that and i just want to get her to see that im good again. and i know i definitely have to be calm and collected through the whole process but i just am confused and i hope she can see all this :sad: i dnt want her to forget about me and think i dont care that i was an * * * * * * * when i fought with her like i think that would be bad leaving it completely no contact in this situation..idk??

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well maybe try one more time, but don't go on and on about it. you may get some other tips on how to communicate with her from others. IF it were me, i'm not sure that any explanation my ex offered me would be acceptable. but that is just me. you've got to get me extremely upset/fed up to get to the breakup point.

 

from a woman's perspective, once we've gotten to the point where we say we've had it and go through the whole breaking up thing and then proceed to NOT talk to you, you (whomever the 'offender' is) are in a pretty bad place.

 

you can say you are different, but if you've had similar fights before, apologized before, said you would change and the whole 9, and still haven't, she's likely to not believe it...in other words she is fed up. it also sounds like you may be a little manipulative (trying to make her feel bad for wanting to hang out with her family because your family always invites her along).

 

your best bet is to take this time to truly evaluate yourself and be 100% honest (not saying you are the only one with problems here, but you are the only person you can control) and figure out why you do what you do, then work on correcting poor patterns of behavior, so that whether you end up with her again or not, you won't find yourself in the same situation over your temper again with the next lady.

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yea i know what you mean thats what i am afraid of i dont know why i did it i was so wrong and i wish she would know that i really want to be together and make her happy. i feel like i can prove it to her but im just afraid shes going to ignore me now which will hurt more.

and i know i was acting a little manipulative and i didnt mean to i was just getting upset for some odd reason and it maybe was just because i was in a bad mood that day idk but now i find myself constantly regretting what i said n i just wish i could express that to her.

i know i have been doing that alot because i was wrong and i need to work on that but i dont want to lose this girl i love so much..do you think it would be wrong if i just txted her saying "hey hows your trip been?" or is she just not going to respond like i want to do it but i dont know what it will do positive or negative..

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