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blast from the past on valentines day...what should be my next step here?


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Well I'll try to keep this short.


I got my first boyfriend at the age of 16, which was 5 years ago. We dated for 4 months and broke up due to not being able to hang out much. He isn't a jerk or anything and there wasn't any bad feelings.


In the past 5 years we've hung out really randomly. I want to say maybe 5 times in the past few years. I go to school far from home and he is still in my home town so we'll get together if I happen to be home. In between those rare times we don't talk and aren't close or anything.


Well this past Valentines Day weekend I went to my home town and ended up hanging out with him ON Valentines (neither of us had dates). This time was way different than the other times because we talked a lot but then turned a movie on and ended up making out hardcore for an hour. It was the weirdest thing...I mean I've kissed and been physical with 3 guys since him...including sex with 2 of them...and since I'm 21 and he's 22 this could easily have turned into us having sex, but it didn't. We basically acted like we did when I was 16...just kissed.


I liked it though, and I'll be in my home town for the next 10 days and would like to hang out with him again. Not just because I want to kiss or whatever but because it was fun and maybe it could go somewhere. The thing is, I have no idea what his thoughts are. After we made out for the majority of the movie we both kinda agreed it was random but fun, and left it at that. We haven't talked since because like I said it's not like we were close anyway and never talked much except for like once a year.


My question is...what should I do? Should I text him and tell him I'll be home again for a while and ask to hang out, or tell him I'll be home to see if he asks me to hang out?


Also, I know nothing of his dating/sexual life since me 5 years ago and he doesn't know anything about mine since him. My roommate thinks that he could think I'm still a virgin or still naive like I was at 16, which is why he acted the same as he did back then. Or I think we might have just done that because we both knew we liked kissing from the past and were watching a movie and figured, why not? I don't really know...but I'd like to do it again...so what should I do next?

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Don't try and figure out what he wants from you, figure out what do you want from him and take it from there.


Could not agree more. You must approach this (and it's not a bad idea to keep as a general rule for all things, really) knowing what you want, what you need, what you will settle for (comfortably), and top it all off with the ability to put these thoughts in open, clear communication to another.


Best of luck to you!

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