The Divorce is Final!

[lostandhurt]

Hello All!,

For those who know my story the reason I found myself here is now at a close. For those who do not, I landed here a mess (hence the name) nearly two years ago after catching my wife cheating on me. There has been much hurt and pain and even more learning and growth on my part.

The list of people here that have helped me is long. I will not list them but I will tell you that the help I have recieved has not only been done directly, but indirectly as well. Seeing how others reach out and help those that need it the most in times of need. Reading replies to posts and learning something about myself in the proccess. To me this has been invaluable.

I have tried to pay this help forward here the best I can and I hope that in some small way I have been able to in that regard.

My divorce was final almost exactly two years to the day that I caught her. Is that poetic? Perhaps.

The battle is now over and although the 20 years together was in reality over within weeks of me catching her, I felt strange as I pondered my next step.

Wish me luck on the next phase of my life.

 

Don't be surprised to see me lurking on the dating threads trying to gleen information. It has been 22 years since I have been on a date you know!

 

Thank you all from the bottom of my soul.

Lost

[renaissancewoman101]

Congrats on the finalizing of your divorce and wish you luck in your future.

[Catdancer]

I"m so glad that it's over. If you were close to me, I"d buy you your first drink as a single man!!!!!

[coolgirl]

Congrats on your divorce being final. I remember that I didnt know my divorce was final when I called and asked about it and we were suppose to put a stop on the divorce. But when I called and the lady said its been final on Jan 6 that was the most agony part of my life. But now that I look back I'm glad I went through with it. But what I am trying to say is that now you can look towards a better future. I hope you find someone that truly cares about you and respects you. Everyone deserves some happiness in their life.

[IphigeniaSaysHi]

I wish you the best in your new journey past connections with someone willing to hurt you. A good day, indeed.

[lostandhurt]

Thanks ladies.

 

I am hopeful I will be as trusting as I used to be.

 

Lost

[IphigeniaSaysHi]

Trust is often tricky and problematic but it doesn't have to be. Each new person you seek to date should be seen as a clean slate and a chance to experience trust.

[lostandhurt]

Easier said than done don't you think?

I will be mindful if I ever meet someone again.

 

Lost

[HeartGoesOn]

Wishing you nothing but the best...Lostandhurt!

[IphigeniaSaysHi]

Easier said than done don't you think?

I will be mindful if I ever meet someone again.

 

Lost

 

Sure, if you don't truly believe it.

We believe what we choose to believe; which is the good news and the bad news. lol

 

Choose to see the good in people and give them the benefit of the doubt or you'll always be driving people away. You now know that if someone turns out to be a snake, you can move on with your dignity in tact. That right there is all the protection you need.

 

It is a step by step, slow process but a worthy one. I think you can do it.

[hexaemeron]

You and I haven't always seen eye to eye, LaH, but I'm truly glad you were able to find your resolve and resolution to a really horrible situation. I wish you nothing but the best moving forward and finding a fantastic lady, or just enjoying yourself with this burden lifted.

[lostandhurt]

Thanks Hex.

Your views come form a different place than mine. Not better or worse, just different.

 

Thanks again

Lost

[lostandhurt]

I think I will as well but you never know when demons from the past will mess with your mind. I feel I am pretty well healed and will never allow what was done to me affect a new person in my life. There is no absolute though but I will try my best.

 

Lost

Sure, if you don't truly believe it.

We believe what we choose to believe; which is the good news and the bad news. lol

 

Choose to see the good in people and give them the benefit of the doubt or you'll always be driving people away. You now know that if someone turns out to be a snake, you can move on with your dignity in tact. That right there is all the protection you need.

 

It is a step by step, slow process but a worthy one. I think you can do it.

[IphigeniaSaysHi]

I think I will as well but you never know when demons from the past will mess with your mind. I feel I am pretty well healed and will never allow what was done to me affect a new person in my life. There is no absolute though but I will try my best.

 

Lost

 

Of course, no one is perfectly strong. Just keep the positive in mind whenever you can.

[Seraphim]

I wish you the best.

[Ellie2006]

From your signature: "Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; Courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time; Enjoying one moment at a time; Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace and happiness; Trusting that I may be reasonably happy in this life and forever."

 

^ Hope all of these things come true for you.

Best wishes to you, LaH. Maybe I'm naive but I am (still) a true believer that good things come to good people. And you're definitely one of the good ones!

[John Bendix]

Lost,

 

I hope that, for you, everything can setle down into a calm.

 

It may seem that you have been a long journey to get where you are now but it is just another step along the way. With acceptance of what is, the next step can be taken without the burden of those that have proceeded it.

As for those steps taken that you choose to learn from, it can be done best without an attachment to them. To used only as tools to take the next.

 

My best to you-

[doityourself]

Lost,

 

I wish you all the best, hope you find happiness and peace.

[sandy cheeks]

The sense of freedom you probably feel right now must be wonderful. I hope you're thoroughly enjoying it.

 

Best of luck in the dating pool.

[spinner7]

"I have tried to pay this help forward here the best I can "

 

I for one must say yo have helped me through some of the darkest point and our journey is not done

 

I hope you will still take time to support the ones like me that are stilll much earlier in the process your hinsight and the understanding you gained over time ...when you share it you give us a ray of hope that somehow somewhere there is happiness to be found somewhere along the rocky road the WAS have put us on.

 

I will surely need you again in the future me and so many others I hope you will still be there for us. Your journey is one that can help us retain our dignity and stay on the high road and your guidance makes it so much easier

 

Thanks for everything

[ScubaDiva]

Good luck with new beginnings - you've handled yourself very well and your son is lucky to have a devoted father like you.

[scornandtorn]

Lost,

Thank you for all your input here. Trust me, this day to shall pass. Enjoy raising your son. I wish I had that gift. You are a lucky man!

[lostandhurt]

Thank you all for your kind words and support.

 

I think this Spring will be better than ever!

 

Lost

[greenkaz516]

I have to say Lost that your words really have helped me as well as your book suggestions!

All the best to you and your son!

[Hosedbywife]

Lost- I have always looked for your posts on this website..You got me through some tough moments just reading what you have been going thru... Glad to hear that your WAS is in your rear view mirror for good. Get out there & enjoy life, your son and the new people in your future. It will be great!

 

Your friend,

 

HOSED