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The Divorce is Final!


lostandhurt

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Hello All!,

For those who know my story the reason I found myself here is now at a close. For those who do not, I landed here a mess (hence the name) nearly two years ago after catching my wife cheating on me. There has been much hurt and pain and even more learning and growth on my part.

The list of people here that have helped me is long. I will not list them but I will tell you that the help I have recieved has not only been done directly, but indirectly as well. Seeing how others reach out and help those that need it the most in times of need. Reading replies to posts and learning something about myself in the proccess. To me this has been invaluable.

I have tried to pay this help forward here the best I can and I hope that in some small way I have been able to in that regard.

My divorce was final almost exactly two years to the day that I caught her. Is that poetic? Perhaps.

The battle is now over and although the 20 years together was in reality over within weeks of me catching her, I felt strange as I pondered my next step.

Wish me luck on the next phase of my life.

 

Don't be surprised to see me lurking on the dating threads trying to gleen information. It has been 22 years since I have been on a date you know!

 

Thank you all from the bottom of my soul.

Lost

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Congrats on your divorce being final. I remember that I didnt know my divorce was final when I called and asked about it and we were suppose to put a stop on the divorce. But when I called and the lady said its been final on Jan 6 that was the most agony part of my life. But now that I look back I'm glad I went through with it. But what I am trying to say is that now you can look towards a better future. I hope you find someone that truly cares about you and respects you. Everyone deserves some happiness in their life.

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Easier said than done don't you think?

I will be mindful if I ever meet someone again.

 

Lost

 

Sure, if you don't truly believe it.

We believe what we choose to believe; which is the good news and the bad news. lol

 

Choose to see the good in people and give them the benefit of the doubt or you'll always be driving people away. You now know that if someone turns out to be a snake, you can move on with your dignity in tact. That right there is all the protection you need.

 

It is a step by step, slow process but a worthy one. I think you can do it.

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You and I haven't always seen eye to eye, LaH, but I'm truly glad you were able to find your resolve and resolution to a really horrible situation. I wish you nothing but the best moving forward and finding a fantastic lady, or just enjoying yourself with this burden lifted.

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I think I will as well but you never know when demons from the past will mess with your mind. I feel I am pretty well healed and will never allow what was done to me affect a new person in my life. There is no absolute though but I will try my best.

 

Lost

Sure, if you don't truly believe it.

We believe what we choose to believe; which is the good news and the bad news. lol

 

Choose to see the good in people and give them the benefit of the doubt or you'll always be driving people away. You now know that if someone turns out to be a snake, you can move on with your dignity in tact. That right there is all the protection you need.

 

It is a step by step, slow process but a worthy one. I think you can do it.

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I think I will as well but you never know when demons from the past will mess with your mind. I feel I am pretty well healed and will never allow what was done to me affect a new person in my life. There is no absolute though but I will try my best.

 

Lost

 

Of course, no one is perfectly strong. Just keep the positive in mind whenever you can.

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From your signature: "Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; Courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time; Enjoying one moment at a time; Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace and happiness; Trusting that I may be reasonably happy in this life and forever."

 

^ Hope all of these things come true for you.

Best wishes to you, LaH. Maybe I'm naive but I am (still) a true believer that good things come to good people. And you're definitely one of the good ones!

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Lost,

 

I hope that, for you, everything can setle down into a calm.

 

It may seem that you have been a long journey to get where you are now but it is just another step along the way. With acceptance of what is, the next step can be taken without the burden of those that have proceeded it.

As for those steps taken that you choose to learn from, it can be done best without an attachment to them. To used only as tools to take the next.

 

My best to you-

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"I have tried to pay this help forward here the best I can "

 

I for one must say yo have helped me through some of the darkest point and our journey is not done

 

I hope you will still take time to support the ones like me that are stilll much earlier in the process your hinsight and the understanding you gained over time ...when you share it you give us a ray of hope that somehow somewhere there is happiness to be found somewhere along the rocky road the WAS have put us on.

 

I will surely need you again in the future me and so many others I hope you will still be there for us. Your journey is one that can help us retain our dignity and stay on the high road and your guidance makes it so much easier

 

Thanks for everything

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Lost- I have always looked for your posts on this website..You got me through some tough moments just reading what you have been going thru... Glad to hear that your WAS is in your rear view mirror for good. Get out there & enjoy life, your son and the new people in your future. It will be great!

 

Your friend,

 

HOSED

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