Would you call her back?

[lonesomeloser]

Quick back story:

 

Had a short relationship with a woman (just a few months). Really good friends, led to hot and heavy lovers, led to lovey-dovey I love you's, etc. It was a LD kinda thing living and working 3 hrs away from each other, so we could really only be together on weekends, and sometimes just weren't available to each other. We stayed in contact emailing daily, webcamming, texting, calling, etc. But it turned out to be not enough for her and we had some disagreements on religion of all things - lol.

 

Anyway, I really like her, hell, I love her - this is my problem, I fall in love too quickly, but she was in love with me too. So, she said she wanted out: "I want out" - her exact words. This was after a long discussion about trust issues, not being there when she needed me, not feeling like it was a 'real' relationship, etc... I did say "don't do this" and told her I love her (I know, not the right thing to say at this point). She said her feelings for me are changing. So I told her that I respect that and would leave her alone, that I learned a lot from her, that she is a very special and amazing woman, and that I wish her happiness in all that she does. I deleted my Facebook account as her status went back to "single" and I couldn't deal with other guys hitting on her. I could have just defriended her, but I was pretty sick of Facebook anyway so just deleted the whole damn thing.

 

We did send each other some friendly emails thereafter, no more lovey-dovey type stuff. But these were few and far between and eventually just stopped. My last 2 emails to her went unanswered - these were over 2 weeks ago. She's still a friend on MSN, but I'm not on there much, and when we both are she never acknowledges me. So, I assumed that she initiated NC, so I stopped contacting her as well. Fell into a bit of depression, lost motivation, stopped doing things I like to do, etc.

 

Okay, fast forward 2 weeks to last Saturday. I'm starting to feel better, starting working out again, then I get a text from her saying "hey, give me a call when you get a chance". Ugh. My heart drops. Of course I wanted to call her immediately, but figured I'd play it cool. Left it alone all day, thought about calling all day Sunday but resisted. The temptation to call is getting stronger and stronger and here it is 4 days later.

 

I really don't want her to think I'm ignoring her, because obviously in my mind I'm not - she's in my thoughts constantly now and I really was making progress (I know only 2 weeks, but it was a start). That text is heavy on my mind and I really really want to at least send her a quick email or something so she doesn't feel bad.... ugh... I don't know. Maybe I waited too long now anyway. What would you do? Call her? email her? Stay NC? (My guess is stay NC, which is what I've done). --- My goal of NC is to heal my heart, but I would also like to have her as a friend again when the time is right. Maybe more if that's possible.

[DN]

I would call to find out what she wanted but keep low expectations and be ready to return to NC if it isn't what you want to hear.

[WindowTo]

For all you know it could be purely business. This women discarded you and you wanted to keep trying. In no way should you chase her. Don't throw your dignity out, I am sure you have a bright romantic future ahead of you. Sure extend common courtesy and return her call, but don't go into it with any kind of expectations and don't try to seduce her. If she wants back in, which is probably a bad idea anyways, let her chase you. That is how it has to be.

[lonesomeloser]

Well, I just sent an email asking if she was okay and what she needed to talk about. She replied saying she just wanted to thank me again for the Valentines gift I got her (gift cert for massage) and how much she enjoyed it - she used it on Saturday. She also asked how I was doing. I replied that I am doing great (lie) and I was happy she enjoyed it (truth) and glad I could do something good for her (truth).

 

That's about it. Honestly, I think it's just what it is. She felt great after the massage and wanted to thank me for it. That's cool. You're welcome. Moving on...