Guys, how do you handle it when your girl cries?

[mcqueen002]

I just wondered what men do when they are in a relationship and their girl is crying because of argument, or after something traumatic?

 

I don't usually cry over something unless its serious, or if i'm watching My Girl My guy kinda stares at me and eventually he starts wiping tears which i've always been confused about because I think i can take care of wiping off my own tears.

 

Who knows maybe thats his way of showing he cares? I just think he doesn't know what to do.

[sidehop]

It'll depend on the guy, last time I saw my wife cry was because her younger sister died in a car accident. Never seen her so distraught. I can only hug her and comfort her and just be there for her.

[sophie274]

It depends.

 

I know sometimes, if a woman cries during the argument, it can make the man feel as though she is manipulating him, by trying to make him feel guilty ... even though, as a big crier, I can say that's not the case for me - I am just a weeper! I try very hard not to cry when having arguments with boyfriends, so as not to derail it or make them feel bad.

 

Since a lot of men don't cry, I think it can make them feel pretty helpless, and unsure of what to do. I know for me, crying is not a momentous event, and doesn't mean I'm in a huge storm of unhappiness, because I cry quite easily, but to a boyfriend, it can feel like a huge deal because he doesn't cry often. My boyfriends have usually hugged and held me when I cried in front of them, and tried to soothe me. I'm sure your boyfriend wiping away tears is his way of trying to make your crying "go away", and of trying to soothe you.

[lucyblue10]

My boyfriend usually puts his arm around me and/or holds my hand until I stop crying.

 

I do the same for him...

 

There's not a lot else you can do. Like Sophie says he's trying to comfort you by brushing away your tears.

[mcqueen002]

Yeah, I guess it is true what you all are saying.

If he was in that situation where he lost someone i would hold him and comfort him the best I could just as I would want him to do for me.

I just remember him saying in the very beginning of our relationship that he doesn't know what to do when girls cry when referring to a friend. I just wondered if other guys felt that way too.

[abitbroken]

I am a girl - but i'll weigh in anyways.

 

If she is experiencing sorrow due to a death in the family - of course comfort her. As far as crying during argument - be careful to not automatically label it manipulative. I used to cry when I fought with my ex but he had an arguing style where he would totally tear you apart. It was not just about the subject at hand but a complete dressing down of everything he didn't like about me - that I just couldn't "make it" in life, etc. I was genuinely hurt. So be careful and listen to if the argument is really a healthy debate or if you are yelling, screaming, or not playing fair. Girls have feelings too and not every one of us is manipulative. Some girls overreact, but not are maniupulative. Some gals may especially cry when you threaten to leave her in the heat of an argument even if you don't mean it. Breakups should be a discussion, not a screaming threat.

[FathomFear]

I comfort everyone, male or female, if they cry for seemingly good reasons. Some people, though, cry for just about everything. Having a bad day, having someone raise a voice at them, etc. I tend not to have much sympathy for these people because it becomes very hard to take them seriously.

[banju]

A few weeks back when I was going to visit my BF I burst out crying, unstoppable type crying, I'd kept so much in since my father fell ill and it all came out at his place (not intentional at all), I don't know why my tears decided to shed there and then but it just did. He jumped off his seat and hugged me tightly rocking me side to side, rubbing my back constantly, kept saying aww awww its ok dear, asked me why I was crying and when I told him he then mentioned how he felt when his dad fell ill and that it would be alright and he understands how I feel. He is a diamond.

[petite]

Some women are just extremely emotional men for that matter also. My ex is a pretty emotional guy and every time he cried I actually thought him much more of a man than the guys that hide true feelings.

 

I remember at times him saying "your tears don't work anymore on me", I believe he thought I wanted to try and make him feel bad or whatever, truth is I'm just extremely emotional. I cry when watching a darn movie, let alone for something that is affecting me or someone close to me.

 

As someone above me said, I'm just a weeper. I used to try and hide it but at times you just can't.

[WickedSunrise]

I'm just like this. My boyfriend has simply gotten used to it. I really wish I didn't cry so easily. I'll cry when I'm unhappy, but it doesn't mean I'm that unhappy. My boyfriend has finally gotten used to it. He used to take it so seriously. Now, he'll pass me a box of tissues, give me a hug, and wipe away some tears. Sometimes I also need a minute to calm down and "de-tear."

[Kyoot_Panda]

Since I cry at the drop of a hat and am pretty overly emotional my boyfriend tends to be a little apprehensive if he doesn't know why I am crying or if he finds the reason stupid. Usually it's my over reacting to something (sometimes nothing at all) but when it's for a legit reason, i.e.) death, stress from school, or w/e he'll comfort me and do what he can to make things easier.

[Distant]

Whenever my girlfriend cries I hug her and hold her till she feels better. Then she talks to me about why she was upset.

[Theblueman123]

I usually comfort when in person, despite the reasoning. Though I'm not gonna sit there while she cries because of something stupid, or if she cries everytime we have a disagreement. On the phone is a different story, I just make an excuse to get off the phone because it does nothing other than make me feel bad.

 

Yeah, and if I ever find out that a girl is crying to manipulate me I'll be gone faster than a teenager in his new ferarri.