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Let the games begin....


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I am in a good mood, had a wonderful night with my son. Come into work, check my email and this is what I get from my ex:

 

Ok, I can't sleep and what is sad is that you are using Landon as a pawn. You know what you doing is wrong and you know it...and still can't stop yourself. It's part of you wanting to be a controlling part of his life. I know that and you know that. My family is pissed, but they see you for who your are... and they understand. Some how they still love you for now. Right now... I don't. What you are doing is only hurting Landon, you are hurting us more, but you are hurting Landon too, with that I ask you to please stop it. You are in contempt of a court order... the order of custody still remains. By dening me my rights to see my son... you are in the wrong. I don't know where you got this notion that I am a threat... or would ever be a threat to own son... but you are in the wrong. If you really thought that, then why would you ever leave him with me... ever! Even at your home when you sleep??? I would understand if I was a monster, you know damn well I am not! I have and I don't think I ever will be in my life hurt more by a human being... than I have been hurt by you at this point in my life. I've tried to understand... all I can come up with is that you mean well, that you are following some ill guided advise... I don't know... What do you wish to accomplish by all of this... other than you want me to pay you money??? Money aside... I know you want help raising our son... you've already proven you can't do it alone??? Why Catdancer... are you doing this... It can't be the drinkin' as you so put it... because I'm not drinking anymore??? I haven't been drunk in well over a month now. You did however drink and drive with him in April of 2009. Sorry but you did... I would never do that! Ever!!!, but you did. So for what I can tell is this is all about you getting money out of me? Not for the good of Landon... but for the good of Catdancer. You frivolously spend your money on movies, extra flat screens for the house not to mention you still have way to many cats to support, that you forget what's most important in life... a loving family for our son. You sit at work all day and listen to people who can't make two craps about their own life and take it as good advise... this is a addiction... maybe not alcohol or drugs... but still a problem. You know I wrote a email to your friend... and when she wrote me back she only called you Cat... never your real name... even though I know damn well she knew your real name because of facebook. These are your friends???... that is sad. I have a lot of friends and most of them still love you. They think you are cool. Even after all of this they will still think that... but not if you are just being greedy like you are right now. They will see you for who you are. I'm really sorry because I really thought you were the one for me... the one I really wanted to spend the rest of my life with... but I was wrong. I can't spend the rest of my life with someone like you. And that is sad. There is a lot of good in you... but there is more bad... I miss read you and I wish that I never had a child with such a woman. He is a beautiful child and I feel ashamed that you are his mom right now. But I guess in the long run... you at least can teach him manipulation. That's all I can be proud of right now. M.

 

 

What is the point of him sending this? He knows that I wouldnt ever be a family with him again. We even went to couples counseling last week and the counselor tried to get him into treatment for alcohol addiction and after he refused to quit and I refused to live with him again, she's like well you have your answer...I dont see the two of you together. I can accept that. I dont trust him, I dont respect him and now I'm not even sure how much I like him.

 

Is he just playing mind games with me? The one time that I drank was when Landon was about 3 or 4 weeks old, I had one beer and 2 mixed drinks when I arrived at a gig for his band. I got there at 7:00 pm had the drinks, and then switched to water and cocoa cola because my c-section opening was hurting. I didnt leave until 1:00 am or so and had been drinking water and soda when I did leave. Mike was so drunk that he was asked not to return to the bar and they cut him off. He was beligerant and mean and I picked up the baby and went to my mom's house. After having 3 drinks, then sitting and drinking soda for 4 hours, I thought I was ok to drive.

 

God, he is making me feel defensive. And he is calling me a bad mother? I've waited my whole life for my son.

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He is an a**hat. Reading that email, it's obvious that he can't take responsibility for himself and own his problems.

 

It's really sick that he is trying to make you out to be a bad mother. That is really low. I don't know you aside from this forum, but the way you talk about Landon and the things you are going through for his well-being prove to me that you are a wonderful mother.

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I would save it as evidence of harassment and print it off and hand it to your lawyer. I am sorry Cat, he is not going to make it easy. Take heart, it will end eventually one day when you no longer care, it may take time though. When my parents divorced my dad used to use me and my brother to get to my mom. Then when we got older he would special events hell, like weddings and births of babies in hopes to make my mother suffer. Now he has no leverage and while she has the love of humanity in her heart for him she could care less about what he does. One day it will be the same for you too. Just do what you are doing now and that is protecting your child.

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Is it just mind games? Is he trying to drive me crazy?

umm yeah....he is desperate..look how he writes...he writes something positive then a line down or so he will write something to bring you down...he needs help....he needs to stop blaming other people and man up...

 

the best part was saying you had an addiction? r u kidding me..

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Although I must say, I don't completely agree with a 3 week old being in a bar at that time of night. But I probably misunderstood right? He wasn't there you just picked him up from somewhere? Still at that time, baby Landon should have already been tucked in his bed, right?

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I have a lot of respect for you, and know what it is like to deal with people who have substance abuse issues and are abusive. I'm in your corner. Also, I don't really know all of the details of this so I may be wrong- please correct me.

 

The only point I think he has it that it isn't right to keep your son from him if there is a standing court order granting him rights?

 

It is sad how hard it is to be parents together when you can't and shouldn't be friends or partners. I hope this all gets better soon.

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The only point I think he has it that it isn't right to keep your son from him if there is a standing court order granting him rights?

 

If he's clearly drunk and clearly a danger to the child that is just cause to withhold visitation and request a court hearing.

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Like I said, I don't know the details. I tried to look back a bit in past threads but didn't remember that.

 

Yeah this has been an ongoing thing. They need to present their positions to the judge on this and let the judge decide what happens going forward. A full investigation of everything probably needs to happen here for the best interest of the child.

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Yeah this has been an ongoing thing. They need to present their positions to the judge on this and let the judge decide what happens going forward. A full investigation of everything probably needs to happen here for the best interest of the child.

 

Ya, when the living situations for the child change on one end it becomes extremely necessary to reassess the negotiation.

 

I truly hope it evens out soon so everyone can go on to enjoying and loving Landon without fear and drama like I know Cat wants to.

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Yeah this has been an ongoing thing. They need to present their positions to the judge on this and let the judge decide what happens going forward. A full investigation of everything probably needs to happen here for the best interest of the child.

 

We had to continue our custody trial to April 13th. We had an agreement and then Mike tells my attorney that he doesnt agree. So she went to the judge and had it continued, which is a good thing for a reason that I'd rather not divulge here.

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We had to continue our custody trial to April 13th. We had an agreement and then Mike tells my attorney that he doesnt agree. So she went to the judge and had it continued, which is a good thing for a reason that I'd rather not divulge here.

 

Unfortunately that's common. I just had a case be continued yesterday when I fought hard previously to get it heard as soon as possible.

 

And I agree with you not to divulge any strategy stuff on the open forum. Once you do that it is fair game for anyone to read and use against you.

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You know I wrote a email to your friend... and when she wrote me back she only called you Cat... never your real name... even though I know damn well she knew your real name because of facebook. These are your friends???...

 

Did it not occur to him that perhaps you WANT to be called Cat/catdancer on the internet? even IF they know your real name? People know MY real name but that doesn't mean I want them using it online. My screen names helps keep me annonymous [for the sake of my children] and all my friends are in the habit of NOT using my real name online. If they were used to using my real name, they might let it slip somewhere that is not safe. I'd rather use a fake name in a safe spot then a real name in a not safe spot.

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I knew that he would be immature and try to cause trouble for me any way that he can. I also knew that he would try very hard to drive a wedge between me and his family. I hate that he is doing this, but it just makes my resolve even stronger. Either they will fall for his horrible accusations and believe his lies, or they wont. I cant let it bother me. I have tried to keep the peace with him and his family for years and I'm tired of it. My son and I are perfectly happy and satisfied with our life. I've made a stable, clean wonderful home for us both and I'm proud of it.

 

It's just very hard reading this stuff from someone who just 3 days ago professed his undying love and committment to me and Landon. Now he's ashamed to have fathered my child? Well I'm not ashamed. I am damn proud of Landon and how happy and creative and smart he is. I think that I've done an amazing job raising him and teaching him, yet letting him be independent and learn on his own.

 

Oh and Hike...the baby was not at the bar. lol he was with Mike's sister at her house. I left the bar and picked him up and we both went to my mom's house. Mike was so drunk and beligerant that I knew we would never get any sleep, so we stayed at mom's for a couple of nights. He is accusing me of drinking and driving with the baby. I disagree. I had 3 drinks then waited 4 hours and several glasses of water later before driving. If I had been pulled over I would not have blown positive on a breathilizer. So, I dont know what he is trying to pull.

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Oh and I love how he brings up my cats. I have already checked the state and local laws. You cannot have more than 7 cats in a household in the county that I live in. I have 6 and ly landlord knows about every single one of them. The maintenance guys just came in a couple of weeks ago and changed all the filters in my apartment, so they saw them all then. And there are no state regulations regarding cats. ALso, no cat leash laws.

 

So, even if he tried to make a stink about my cats, I am not breaking any laws or ordinances.

 

And my apt is sooo much cleaner and nicer than his house, I welcome an inspection from anyone. I actually look forward to showing off my home. I think that I have decorated it beautifully and I maintain it very well.

 

Again...what the hell is trying to do?

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Just look at that beautiful baby in my avvy. How in the hell could he be ashamed of that?

 

He just knows how to upset you, what mother wouldn't be upset if someone said that about their kid?

 

I remember seeing some of the emails my girlfriend's ex sent her while they were breaking up. This actually reminds me of them. They would always start out sounding like a half assed attempt to be nice, but full of veiled insults, and end up with all these nasty statements like "I am embarrassed that I was ever with you." and "Everyone was right, I do deserve better."

 

She saved them all and brought them with her to court.

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Is this "drunk driving incident" already a matter of record? If not, I'd strike it from this post.

 

Also, it's a common trait for the deluded, mean, and crazy to accuse you of whatever ails them. For example, a crazy person will call everyone crazy. A reckless alcoholic will accuse you of being an addict. A deliberately mean person will tell you that you're hurting their feelings. It's all projection.

 

These are the ailments that plague their minds, that they feel levels of subconscious guilt over, and therefore, these are their conscious acusations. Oldest trick in the book, and he may not even know he's playing it.

 

In any case, it's awful that you have to go through this, and equally awful that you have to read stuff like this. He's a broken man right now though, and broken people are often dangerous people.

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