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Hi guys,

 

I've not actually started a new thread on here for a long time so i guess thats a sign of progress right?

 

Ok, need your advice guys. As some of you will know I moved country last year (8 months after the ex walked out of our house to move in with some guy..was with her 6 years) and left the house empty. I go back to that city every month for business for 4-5 days and use it to stay over. However, despite me thinking it was a time issue, every time i see the place and walk in I get a flood of memories as we bought the house as a bare unit, renovated it together and obviously had some special times there.. it does always upset me when im there and im not sure it will ever lose that vibe. Im heading back tomorrow, not staying there this time and im thinking of selling it as I have a really good offer which would see me double my money from 3 years ago. I also have someone who wants to rent... so my dilemma is whether to just get shut of it or rent it and see how I feel about the place in a few years. It is still a great investment in going forward. It is a lovely house and it would really p*&! me off to sell it but im just thinking maybe its time to finally let it all go once and for all.

 

Has anyone sold their house/apartment for moving on purposes when they split?

 

Any thoughts?

 

On a second note.. most of you will know my ex stayed in contact since she left... messages are not as often a they once were but a few weeks back she emailed asking me if i could get something for the new house she is just moving into with her fella (apparently cant get it back there).. i didnt reply to that one! Then this was followed a week later by a message saying miss you and love you lots and signed off by our cats name (she took the cat)... what on earth is all that about?? Thoughts again pls

 

Lastly, for those who are just going through a break up.. i know how you feel but it does get better...believe me. its not like one day you wake up and your over it, but it does gradually improve.. this time last year i was a complete emotional mess... it still gets me at times, its so hard when they leave for someone else, but slowly but surely your life returns to normality. Im not ready for someone new yet, it wouldnt be fair, but hey, come summer the ladies better watch out

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Double your money. It will always be connected to the memories. It does, however, sound like those are fading and you are doing great. Maybe getting rid of it will catapult you forward even more. Doubling your money in 3 years sounds like a great deal!

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I remember most of your story jaylh. I'd sell it. Its a good deal. I think holding onto it is holding onto the past. I say that as you are still asking questions about the contact from your ex. The house will always have those connotations. Many would hang onto it and it wouldnt bother them to be there. I dont feel that is you in this case. I could offer my opinion on the contact.. though it seems you have come this far..why not go the whole hog and set yourself completely free. Let go what any contact means too. If there was anything to say from her end I think she'd make it clear, dont you think?

 

You've done a great job on yourself. Keep going. Dont let anything hold you back from truly putting all this behind you. I know some part of you wants to hold on in a way..though it might be better to finally let go the best you can, and if you ever do want to venture down that road marked 'ex' again it will be a choice you make with a cleansed heart, from a position of strength, rather than a subconscious pull from the past, possibly grounded in some sort of fear or pain.

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Thanks for the advice guys. I know I am not completely over it, far from it but i know i am gradually moving forward. Im trying to be rational about the house, see it as a good investment and put the emotional attachment and the inevitable memories to one side. I do love the place and the location so I would be gutted to sell it but the other part of me is just thinking its another chord from the past that would be cut.

 

Decisions decisions!!

 

Dont get me wrong about the contact, its not like im hanging on to every word she says. Im way past that. I just find these last 2 emails extremely bizarre and was trying to understand the mentality of it.

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I do love the place and the location so I would be gutted to sell it but the other part of me is just thinking its another chord from the past that would be cut.

 

Decisions decisions!!

 

Hmm.. maybe just rent it out until you are sure.

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