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Boyfriend seriously does not care about ANYTHING.


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I have been w/ my boyfriend for nearly 2 years now. At first, everything was absolutely fantastic. I felt very lucky because I felt like he listened a lot and actually cared. But, in the past handful of months, I feel like he has gradually started caring less about me and what I have to say. I guess not so much when it comes to my work problems, school, etc. but mostly what I think regarding our relationship. He seems to become short immediately and just does NOT want to deal w/ it. He states that he doesn't care what I have to say and he doesn't really care how I feel, how he cares more about his emotions more... he doesn't want to hear it or deal w/ it. This is obviously frustrating to me, because I feel like as a girlfriend of 2 years, I deserve to be listened to.

 

He, in general, does not care about basically anything. Even when he argues w/ his parents or something, it does not put a dent in his day or affects how he feels. He just says that he doesn't care and won't deal w/ it. He almost lost his job recently (long story) and he didn't care whether he were to lose his job or not. His boss was even saying how it really doesn't seem like he cares whether or not he gets his job back and his boss stated that he's not sure if he wants my boyfriend back since he seems so careless. He is so darn stoic about everything... It honestly really irritates me that when we have an argument or something, he goes out w/ his friends and gets drunk and many of the times, when I talk to him the next day, I ask how he feels about our argument... his response: "I don't care. I feel fine." Nothing affects him. In a way, I am almost jealous that he can be so careless and carefree, but I just wish he would care...

 

I want to know all the sudden why he doesn't care about anything?! Have I done something wrong here? I know he obviously doesn't want to listen to stuff about our relationship all the time, but when we argued the other night, that was the first in weeks. So I don't understand why he is getting so short w/ me. I know that there's nothing I can really do to make him care more... you can't force someone to care about something. But does anyone have any advice?

 

Thanks in advance.

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I'm not sure why he is acting that way. Do you think maybe he is depressed? Usually when people are depressed, they don't care much about the things they once use to and instead close up and shut others out. Has there been anything traumatic recently in his life?

 

The only other thing I can think is maybe he is lost. He has no clue who he is and what his purpose is, so he acts like he doesn't care about anything. Have you asked him why he's behaving like this?

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I'm not sure why he is acting that way. Do you think maybe he is depressed? Usually when people are depressed, they don't care much about the things they once use to and instead close up and shut others out. Has there been anything traumatic recently in his life?

 

The only other thing I can think is maybe he is lost. He has no clue who he is and what his purpose is, so he acts like he doesn't care about anything. Have you asked him why he's behaving like this?

 

Yes, actually... in the past few months, he has been super stressed out about his future... career-wise. He doesn't know what he wants to do for the rest of his life and he feels like he made the wrong decision sometimes because he got a full-time job instead of going to college like all his friends. Basically when he does talk, it's about how he doesn't know what to do for a career, he doesn't know where he'll end up, etc. He has been stressed out about that. And when I ask why, his response is basically that he doesn't know.

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Then that is probably the reason why he's acting like this. That's no excuse to treat you like that though. He somehow needs to go and do something proactive with this life so that way he can find out what is he wants to do with his life. Maybe he should go back to school so he has the chance to explore career options.

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