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How should I bring up the conversation to parents?


RoxyGril

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Well, like I have been mentioning about how I have issues with my mom about not liking my bf whatsoever for really stupid reasons. But, I know that there is a possibility of marriage in the future with my bf.

 

How do you confront your mom that has caused a lot of damage and not only her but, my step-dad (my mom is the one who causes the issues more so then my step-dad)...about that there is a possible marriage in the future (knowing that they won't like it...but, it isn't their life).

 

I guess what I am trying to say is how should I bring up the conversation about the possibility of marriage and that if they can't accept marriage to my bf....then they are not going to see me as often and also if we ever have kids they won't get to see them often as well....

 

My parents make it difficult because since they don't like my bf...he isn't allowed over. Which this makes it difficult because when I have to go visit my mom, I have to go myself without him during the holidays. Though he is accepted with my dad and my family which is the bigger portion. I am going to eventually have to say something to my mom and step-dad. But, I don't know how and when. I do want to get it done and over with so I don't stress out about how they are going to respond.

 

Any thoughts?

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I guess what I am trying to say is how should I bring up the conversation about the possibility of marriage and that if they can't accept marriage to my bf....then they are not going to see me as often and also if we ever have kids they won't get to see them often as well....

 

 

I wouldn't word it so defensively to begin with. Maybe just sit down with them and explain that you and your bf have been discussing marriage, and that you understand how they feel and you'd like to work on changing it for the better. If you come out and say, "Either accept it or you won't get to see your future grandkids," it's not really being fair to them or to the kids you may have someday (I mean, you don't want your kids missing out on time with their grandparents because of a grudge someone's holding, do you?), and if you phrase it like that they may think you're not open to any kind of resolution so they may not want to put forth the effort in "accepting" your bf. If you tell them how you feel and also take the chance to hear them out and actually start communicating with them and coming up with ways for everyone to get along, then by the time you get married and have kids this could all be resolved.

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But, I have a huge feeling that my mom won't have get over the grudge that she holds against him and start accepting him. Why is it so difficult for one person to hang onto a grudge towards someone and won't let that person come over ever again. My bf doesn't want anything to do with her because he chooses not to deal with someone like that. I know that it wouldn't be fair to limit the visit of possible grandkids but, shouldn't my bf and I be able to go as a couple with the kids over to visit?

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