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3 months of NC, and she makes contact


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Wow...just don't know what to say right now.

 

Long story short she left me for a 28 year old, and from what I heard she was happy (apparently she tells me the guy is just like me but I know better). We were together for 6 years and I was about to propose to her and blah blah blah you get the picture.

 

In the past 3 months she has tried to initiate contact 3 times over facebook/texts. I have ignored her.

 

Now today happens, out of nowhere she calls me. I don't answer but she leaves a 2 minute voicemail about how it would mean the world to her if I were to be her walking partner for graduation.

 

...Yea I just don't know what to make of this. I WILL NOT be responding so don't even worry, I just can't believe she had the gall to even attempt to ask me. I just don't get it, I'm kind of confused. This is the girl who tells me she wants me to stay away from her, and I do so but not for her but for me, and shes the one that keeps bugging me!!

 

I have blocked her from facebook, ignored every attempt of hers to contact me...WHAT OTHER HINT DOES SHE NEED!! What part of leave me the **** alone doesn't she understand. Its not that I hate her because I don't, I will in fact always love her for the time we spent together, but I don't want anything to do with her anymore.

 

Thoughts?

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Is she still with the other guy? It takes some balls to call someone and pretend that everything is cool and you owe them something after she left you for someone else. It really doesn't make any sense and I understand your confusion.

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Typical example of what happens when someone realizes the grass isn't greener on the other side. She dumped you for what she thought would be the bigger and better deal and realized that she was very wrong. Now she's trying to work herself into your life again. My only advice to you is even if somehow you decide that you do want to give her another chance, make sure she has to wait for that chance and don't let her in too easy or she'll do it again.

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sounds like she maybe wants you back, but it also sounds like you do not.

 

Maybe you should reply, saying you're touched she thought about you, but that you are not interested, wish her well, and leave it at that?

 

But only if you are not interested......

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I feel as though staying NC is the best option. If I were to contact her I think (knowing her) that it will just open the door for her to try and barge right back in.

 

And yes, I do NOT want her back whatsoever. I am almost certain (95% sure) that she cheated on me when we were together so why would I ever want that back? I of course cannot see far into the future, and MAYBE someday we will start talking again, but as for right now no I will not respond and no I do not want to talk to her.

 

And to answer a previous question yes she is still with her new guy. (Just FYI she slept with him within 2 days of them being together and told me that she loved him that same day so yea...nice)

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Lostheart....Stay NC.....or ask yourself....regardless of her motives for asking you to be her walking partner....do you TRUST her? Could you EVER trust her again? There you will have your answer.

If someone could do this to you once...they are completely capable of doing it again.

 

You deserve better....SO much better.

 

Stay STRONG!!

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Every so often reply, short answers that dont leave open any room for discussion. Sooner or later she will get the hint. If you ignore her, she will think you are being passive aggressive and continue to text and try to contact you. Be selective in your responses, she asked you if you could company her to her graduation, you can just say "no thank you, glad you are doing well" and leave it at that. If she responds, just say cant talk, busy.. She has to know you moved on and complete no contact doesnt do that, only makes her become more aggressive. Little short replies will have her know you are moving on. I know people will say no, wrong, but after 6 yrs of being together. Its probably the best move to let her know, you asked me to let me go, I am moving on.

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Every so often reply, short answers that dont leave open any room for discussion. Sooner or later she will get the hint. If you ignore her, she will think you are being passive aggressive and continue to text and try to contact you. Be selective in your responses, she asked you if you could company her to her graduation, you can just say "no thank you, glad you are doing well" and leave it at that. If she responds, just say cant talk, busy.. She has to know you moved on and complete no contact doesnt do that, only makes her become more aggressive. Little short replies will have her know you are moving on. I know people will say no, wrong, but after 6 yrs of being together. Its probably the best move to let her know, you asked me to let me go, I am moving on.

 

This is one of the 2 options that I was considering, the other being of course just NC. The only thing that I am worried about is that she will continue to try and call/text/contact me no matter what. Yes of course she might get mad if I just stay NC, but that is honestly none of my business. It became none of my business when she broke my trust (twice). I'm going to have to ponder this one for a bit.

 

Just text her and say, "I'm not interested. Ask your new boyfriend to do it for you."

 

THE END.

 

I laughed at this. Of course I won't considering that I will basically "lose" if I sent her this because it will make me out to be bitter and I don't want that...but that was funny nonetheless.

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Well I have been thinking about it, and have asked my roommates the same thing, and they both agree.

 

I think I am going to text her simply saying this:

 

"Going to have to say no to your voicemail, hope all is well, take care."

 

It satisfies the 3 things I want to get accross...The fact that I want nothing to do with it, the fact that I am not angry, and that I want her to stop texting me.

 

I will probably send it tomorrow afternoon, considering that if I sent it now she would most likely think "why is he thinking about me at 12am?"

 

So what do you think?

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I'll just say sorry I been quite busy lately I don't think I be able to be your walking partner. and well there is choice two if you do man.... you better do a top performance show her what she has missed this "caballero" that you are that's spanish stands for gentleman =]

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Ok I just sent a very little text back:

 

"Going to have to say no to your voicemail, glad your doing well. Take care."

 

That was 8 hours ago and no response. Hopefully this is finally over so I can keep moving on with my life because her trying to contact me is getting kind of annoying. I don't want to change my phone number but sometimes I wonder...

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Ok I just sent a very little text back:

 

"Going to have to say no to your voicemail, glad your doing well. Take care."

 

That was 8 hours ago and no response. Hopefully this is finally over so I can keep moving on with my life because her trying to contact me is getting kind of annoying. I don't want to change my phone number but sometimes I wonder...

 

Maybe she will get the hint this time.

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lostheart. That sounds familiar. You are doing the right thing with no contact.

I was with my GF for 7 years, and when she broke up with me (3rd time in the last 2 years of the relationship) enough was enough. I had been shattered too many times to go back there. So hang in there!

 

She also contacted me. But i made a point of never initiating contact. Finally I txt her and said, sorry but I really dont want any contact, because lets face it to fully heal we need this time to clear our own heads. And because she broke up with me, she had a huge head start on me mentally. She would of been talking to her friends and family about it months before doing it, pre planning etc etc, while I was at home trying to be the perfect guy (yes im now at the angry phase). Thats something alot of women dont understand, most guys just cant be friends after a break up, and definitely not straight after they say "look im sorry its not you its me".

 

I wouldnt take that walk either. And I definitely wouldnt get back together with any girl who makes the break. Because you only fall right back on the path to another break, and another. Im not saying its her fault, im just saying maybe its time to be true to the whole situation that you arent meant to be together.

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The only thing that I would add to this is that the only reason they keep coming back is because they believe that we are their "backup" plan or something. If we were to give into that it would only hurt our pride so why even try?

 

There would have to be a REALLY good reason for me to ever get back together with her, and like I said I can't see the future. But for right now no way.

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All i can say is. These forums... i find them very very good for therapy. Knowing we arent alone going through this tunnel of darkness is very comforting.

 

My Dad was saying the other day, plenty more fish in the sea haha. And hes right! One thing im happy about at the moment is ill never have to go to anymore in law family parties

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Oh and lostheart. In reply to a really good reason to get back with her, I think everyone inside them during the healing phase of any break up still hold the "candle of hope". Its currently burning down and pretty soon itll burn out.

 

Ive always thought what if my ex came and said I miss you I want you back, right now, I wouldnt want to, being shattered 3x by the same girl already... I dont fancy being shattered a further time for a record number 4! there has to be a point when you say im worth more then this i cant keep picking up the pieces of my heart over and over so this is it really for me. But... the only way a relationship can really come back together and work is if there is communication and the real reason why the break up happened laid out on the table, most people arent capable of this and I think counselling would be essential to get both parties true feelings out. More times then not, people come back due to loneliness... and things fall apart again. and you find yourself posting on enotalone.com

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Ok I just sent a very little text back:

 

"Going to have to say no to your voicemail, glad your doing well. Take care."

 

That was 8 hours ago and no response. Hopefully this is finally over so I can keep moving on with my life because her trying to contact me is getting kind of annoying. I don't want to change my phone number but sometimes I wonder...

 

Ahhhh, you did take my advice. Good, its not about her getting mad or anything, who cares how she feels, its about her knowing that you are moving on. Just a simple message well let her know you want nothing to do with her and she will move on quicker than just total ignorance.. And if she wanted to chat, just reply saying "cant talk, busy" and thats it.. she will get the hint.. never ask her a question and never reply to the "how are you doing?" texts..

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