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Well basically my ex rang me up during the night sobbing and really upset after him suggesting we take a break. This was a few weeks ago when he said its not a good idea we be friends for the moment then a few nights ago i got a phone call during the night and it was him!!

 

He was obviously drunk and was asking to come over to mine but i was away at the time staying at my friends house. He was talking about how good we were and how he is not getting on well with his new girlfriend ( his rebound) We've been broken up for 8 months now.

I just couldnt believe it was him and just as shocked what he was saying to me like how he thought we were amazing when we were together but now he feels like his life is drifting on and then he kept saying sorry about what he put me through and then when he asked me could he come over as i live in the same town as him, i just said i was away.

 

Im just started to get really better and feel happy in myself as i took the break up really hard and i havent been on a date since...

 

The next day he texted me saying he was sorry for ringing me in such a drunken state, thet it isnt fair on me and he will be ok. So i said its ok and that i hope hes ok now. Then a few days later he wanted to meet up so i agreed and i questioned him about what is really up with him and he was saying that i did it the right way after the break up of not getting involved with someone else and that he regrets it very much but he feels he is stuck in the relationship with her so all i could say is for him to just do whats best for him. Im really proud of myself as i wasnt phased by the phone call or him saying that his new relationship is not all plain sailing afterall!!

 

He said that its nice we are talking again and hope to meet up soon again so im just wondering what does this all mean, is he just starting to realise his mistake for rebounding? why did he suggest meeting up again?

Please i would like some perspective.

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It sounds like he is not happy in his current relationship and is looking to a time when he feels things were better. And that is when he was with you.

 

He may even try to get back together with you because with you it was better than being with her. Best thing to do is to tell him to find his own way out of the relationship. He made his bed, now he has to sleep in it, or go buy himself a new one, cause yours aint available anymore.

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He feels guilty, he realizes what he had lost, probably comparing the bad part of his current relationship to when he was with you. The grass seemed greener at first but of course that's never the case. Now he wants to come back to the other side again hoping for some peace with you.

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My ex has been pulling this crap with me ever since we have broken up. It's been almost 6 months for us but unlike your ex mine decided to run off and marry this girl after our five years together. Take everything he says with a grain of salt because its just words. You sound much better then how i am dealing with it. Every time my ex has a fight with her he comes my way and gives me hope and i fall for it. I fall HARD every time. Keep moving on and keep your distances from him. I would hate for you to get your hopes up for nothing.

 

I don't know you or how you feel for him now but trust me even if you feel yourself getting over him those old feelings come back fast. Someone on my thread told me never to believe anything an ex says while there going thru a breakup. Even if there believe what they are saying at the time, things change fast. Good luck with everything but i suggest not meeting up with him until he is broken up with her completely. His looking to you for comfort and his right, it isn't fair to you.

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if i was writing this a few months ago when i was still really down in myself, i would not be able to handle this as its like him giving me bait then all of a sudden things might turn around and the bait will be gone!

 

Now though...yeah a small part of me wants to give it another chance, we have a very strong bond and still care for each other but the way he was when i met him he was basically envious of me cus im free and single and i haven't dated anyone since our breakup oh god it was lonely at times but i wasn't going to force myself into another relationship after such a strong, intense one. But i think he is now starting to realise he doesnt really want to be with her. They went on holiday together... really fast move as they have only been together for 3 months!! He told me that he really saw what she was like as he was stuck with her for a week, its like a test i suppose in a relationship to see if you can live with that person for week.

 

The thing is i want to know how do i really know if he just wants me for comfort or he is hoping to get back together?

I talked to him about how i want to leave united kingdom next year to go back home to Ireland and he kept saying "dont make any rash decisions, that anything could happen here till then" I dont want to get my hopes up but at the same time i dont want to miss my chance or maybe i should just date other people?

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It sounds like he wants to have you around for "JUST IN CASE". My advice is to move on, I know you still care inside, and you miss having that company. Im in the same boat as you. But Dont ever become someones option when to you, they are a priority in your life. You've done great from what i've read in your post, dont mess it up now that you've gone so far...

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It sounds like your already getting your hopes up. I think he is just looking to you for comfort. Even if his not doing it consciously i think he is. Things are not going to great and knowing that he still has you around to an extent makes him feel safe. If he really wants to leave her that bad he would. I think you need to keep moving on. Don't date if your not ready but keep your distance from him. I think it's for the best, trust me by being around all your going to do is hold yourself back. I know you don't want to loose the chance to reunite but his really not concern with it so why should you be?

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