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confused about woman's behaviour


PUAtheist

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Ok, I go to this international church and recently this girl/woman from Korea joined us, she is really shy and just soooo cute. She doesn't speak that much English though.

 

So we (as the church) always meet up for coffee and a chat after the service, so of course I made sure I sat with her and try to get to know her. Anyway, initially (for a few weeks) she seemed really friendly, chatting with me, laughing at my jokes, waiting until I was ready, etc. Basically being friendly (which I know Korean women do to be polite).

Last week however, we all sat there again and someone made a silly remark about me having such an obvious crush on her, and well, for some reason I just went bright red. (Maybe bc it was just true.)

 

The conversation with her kind of stopped, and since then I have the feeling that she is going out of her way to stay out of my way. Now whenever I see her she barely says hi in an indifferent voice and looks away as soon as she can, and it feels like she is deliberately trying to avoid me.

 

She's not interested you would think. I know.

But why such an extreme response ?

It feels like she is actually thinking "Oh please, just leave me alone!!"

And all I did so far was being attentive to her, I hadn't even asked her out or made any sort of obvious move (apart from the blushing).

Ok, I'm not a "hot guy" but I think I could safely say I'm pleasant looking and pleasant-mannered. I'm pretty sure she is single. And she's happily talking to other (Korean and non-Korean) guys there, whom frankly I don't consider to be nicer, more charming, more funny or more attractive than me. (They're good guys though.)

 

What have I done to freak her out like that ???

I'm just really puzzled about it, and it hurts me, because frankly I did(do) like her a lot.

 

What do you guys - and especially women - think about that ?

Thanks in advance !

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Some girls get 'weird' when you find out some guy likes them. She might have had a bad experience in the past with stalkers or crazies etc.

 

If I were you (easy to say mind you) I would tackle this head on and say that you notice that she is avoiding you etc. I wouldn't mention the crush or that comment etc at all but just that you've noticed this change in her. Play innocent.

 

Since you like her, I think it's worth a shot at staying in touch and seeing where this is going.

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Well, the obvious difference between now and then is that now she knows you're interested. She was friendly before, probably because of what you said .. to be polite. Things are apparently different when there's romantic interest. Maybe it's another Korean cultural thing? Could be she's interested too, but just really shy, and that's how it manifests itself. Or could be she's not interested and that's her way of saying "no thanks?"

 

Ah, intercultural love.

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Well, the obvious difference between now and then is that now she knows you're interested. She was friendly before, probably because of what you said .. to be polite. Things are apparently different when there's romantic interest. Maybe it's another Korean cultural thing? Could be she's interested too, but just really shy, and that's how it manifests itself. Or could be she's not interested and that's her way of saying "no thanks?"

 

Ah, intercultural love.

 

Yeah they do different things, so maybe that's how she acts when she likes you? I dunno but good luck at the intercultural thingy.

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Thanks for the answers, you guys.

 

I'd love to give it another shot since she simply is the cutest girl I've met in a good while, and we have lots of common interests too.

Thing is, she almost seems like 'really put off' by me and really cold. So I'm mostly thinking I should just forget about her and stay out of her way, because the last thing I want is freak a woman out and come accross as a stalker.

 

I've had a Korean gf before and they are usually very conservative about it all, but when there's liking or even attraction, they will usually show it like most women, only a lot more subdued. Very hard to figure out. So with this one I was unsure to begin with, bc it could have been general friendliness. But now this...

 

I wouldn't worry about it like I do if she wasn't so damn nice.

Can any more women say anything about this ? Especially Korean women, if there are any here ?

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Well I'm an upfront kinda guy, and that kind of behaviour would be bugging me for days especially if she had been laughing at my jokes and showing interest. Then if my friend made the "It's so obvious you like her" comment and she started acting like that, well that would be a headscratcher.

 

I'd just casually pull her to the side and just ask her "Is everything alright? You don't seem to be talking to me much, did I do something wrong?" and see what she has to say.

 

You have to ask questions to get the answers!

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It has been bugging me for days, kind of. Mostly because I feel like such an idiot now, even though I haven't really done anything majorly wrong except getting a bit nervous.

 

I'm kind of thinking like shudder, taking it for face value she really ain't interested and shows it in that kind of way.

 

I think I'm just gonna back off from her for the moment.

 

Cheers for the answers, guys !

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