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Car Door: Polite or Outdated?


OntheWire

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A lovely thing to do...my husband always opens my door, and the doors for our daughters...and he is not a door mat, he is the hero to all three of us...he is showing our girls how a gentleman treats a lady, and I always work to show them how a lady treats a gentleman...love and respect, respect and love! (And I am perfectly capable of opening my door, he is perfectly capable of doing many of the things I do for him...that's not the point....it is showing our appreciation for each other by doing these things)

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Hi there! I do it everytime. Most women like it. But do it always or none at all. Once you get them used to it, they'll resent it if along the way you stop doing it...

 

I also pull their chairs before they sit in a restaurant, then ask her what she wants to drink, and when the waiter comes, I order for her.

 

Depends where you come from. Works in Mexico, but not in Germany (where I am currently living). In the US it worked for me, but not always... Depends on the girl, if she is too independent, she may confuse it with being posessive.... Hope it helps!

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I view it as polite and do admire it to a certain extent.

 

HOWEVER, due to my impatient, go-go-go personality, I usually end up getting to the door before the guy. If the guy beats me to it, the couple of seconds that I have to stand by idly make me somewhat uncomfortable.

 

Perhaps if it's a romantic date where the whole pace is relaxed and leisurely, I could be okay with it. But on an everyday basis, I'm in too much of a hurry for things like that. It's nice when they guy opens the car door for you when you're headed to the theater or a restaurant...but it's just silly when you're rushing to the airport or trying to get groceries in the shortest possible amount of time.

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i don't see the need, just like i dont see why some of my guy friends insist on opening every door for me/fight to pay for coffee/let me go ahead of them ALL THE TIME. for the risk of sounding like a total stereotypical bra-burning feminist, it does feel contrived patronizing. it makes me feel uneasy and less of an equal. it's not a deal breaker, since i doubt they mean to be patronizing, but it feels that way when they INSIST *everytime*.

 

 

i think everyone should just be equally pleasant to each other, but not excessively so. Let *ME* open a couple of doors for you.

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Ya I agree, PE. A lot of times when there are double doors, a male will open the first set for me and I will open the second set for him.

 

9 times out of 10 he won't go through first and it annnnooyyys the hell out of me. Can't we all just be kind? Why is it just the men? Technically it is benevolent sexism, but oh well.

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i don't see the need, just like i dont see why some of my guy friends insist on opening every door for me/fight to pay for coffee/let me go ahead of them ALL THE TIME. for the risk of sounding like a total stereotypical bra-burning feminist, it does feel contrived patronizing. it makes me feel uneasy and less of an equal. it's not a deal breaker, since i doubt they mean to be patronizing, but it feels that way when they INSIST *everytime*.

 

 

i think everyone should just be equally pleasant to each other, but not excessively so. Let *ME* open a couple of doors for you.

 

You know, it used to upset me too. But since being in a relationship with another girl, my perception about a lot of things has changed.

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Only like it when I'm dating the guy. If a guy friend opens the door for me...it's odd. I usually tell them not to treat me differently because I'm a woman.

 

It's nice some of the time. But, not expected at all. My boyfriend opens the door for me every once in a while and it's a really nice gesture.

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I open doors for people. Not just women. And by the same token I appreciate it when people open doors for me.

 

But if someone expects me too open it simply because they happen to be a woman then they are doomed to disappointment. Equality means one gender does not provide little services to the other simply because they happen to be one or the other.

 

I rarely open car doors for people unless they need assistance - it's waste of time

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I would never be offended if a man did this, but I think it's unnecessary. It doesn't really make sense what with the power locks. When a guy does it for me I view it as him trying especially hard to "be a gentleman", and I thank him, but I wouldn't expect my boyfriend to do it on a regular basis.

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You know, it used to upset me too. But since being in a relationship with another girl, my perception about a lot of things has changed.

 

well, what's your take on it now?

 

god, i wish i could date another girl. i think taking gender dynamics out of the equation would be interesting.

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