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I think i just had a breakthrough....I like being alone/single.

 

Let me elaborate. I have been seperated from my ex wife for roughly a year and a half and the divorce was finalized last September. Since then I dated a girl off and on for a couple of months but it never worked out. One thing that just dawned on me today is that I am truly happy when I am alone/single. It seems that when I have a woman in my life I am constantly walking on egg shells trying to please them and it seems I can never do right. In turn I am stressed all the time. I know that I am not repsonsible for someone else's happiness but the women I meet just seem too clingy and needy and constantly want to be shoulder to shoulder with me 24/7. It may be selfish and unhealthy of me to think this way but it's just the way I feel.

 

Don't get me wrong....i do not want to be alone forever and grow old alone but right now.....I'm just happiest when I only have me to worry about. I do have a 12 yr old daughter with my ex and she is my world. I pretty much bend over backwards for her and always will but other than that.....women just stress me out. Maybe I just havent found the right one yet

 

what do you guys think?...is this healthy?

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If you are "walking on eggshells" maybe you are going after women who are overly sensitive or you are not compatible with. It is okay to be alone, but did you consider that? Or you were used to doing so with your ex and even if the gal is easy going, you react like that?

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If you are "walking on eggshells" maybe you are going after women who are overly sensitive or you are not compatible with. It is okay to be alone, but did you consider that? Or you were used to doing so with your ex and even if the gal is easy going, you react like that?

 

Of course that has crossed my mind. I dont particularly chase women of this nature it seems they are the ones that are attracted to me......even before they really know me. I am very easy going and will do most anything for someone I care about but then over time it seems they take advantage and start demanding more and more....thats when i start getting frustrated. Yes I did spoil my ex and i know I did that to myself but she also had a very selfish side to her and I just more or less put up with it for a long time and was miserable.

 

So yes i have work to do on myself in that department and compatibility is something I havent found yet.

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I envy you. I wish I could be happy being single, then I wouldn't stay in the horrible relationship that I am in! Good for you.

 

I read a book that stated that some people need to feel loved, wanted and valued by others in order to truly be happy. It also stated that some people simply want companionship but can take care of themselves just fine and doesnt "have" to have someone in their life to be happy. I think i fall in the latter. I did not always feel this way tho. It just sort of hit me as i get older. Maybe its the "you have to love yourself first before you can lover others" mentality kicking in

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Of course that has crossed my mind. I dont particularly chase women of this nature it seems they are the ones that are attracted to me......even before they really know me. I am very easy going and will do most anything for someone I care about but then over time it seems they take advantage and start demanding more and more....thats when i start getting frustrated. Yes I did spoil my ex and i know I did that to myself but she also had a very selfish side to her and I just more or less put up with it for a long time and was miserable.

 

So yes i have work to do on myself in that department and compatibility is something I havent found yet.

 

Well...you act as if you have no choice. Attracting certain types of women doesn't mean you have to have a relationship with them. There are two sides to attraction. One might flirt or look or give the green light to someone, but it takes two to continue. Perhaps you should not "give everything" to another person right off the bat. When a woman or friend expresses a problem, instead of fixing it, encourage them to figure it out for themselves. You can be supportive and encouraging without rescuing them and waiting on them hand and foot. Also, when you pull out the stops and givea nd give and give and suddenly stop, maybe the woman seems demanding for asking for things because you have already set the tone. When you pull back because the honeymoon is over, she wonders whats wrong and starts to nag.

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yes i know i am not forced into relationships with these people but they are not like this from the start...it slowly evolves into what i am describing. I am sure i have alot to do with the way they act and I am working on fixing that.

 

I would like to say that I am not saying that all women act this way....I have only been in a few relationships and this has just been my experience so far. i know everyone is different. I was just pointing out that lately I seem to be happier when I'm single. That may fade with time.

 

Thanks for the input/advice.

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