does nc actually work?

[Italianchic110]

i cant do it

[HouseKitten]

What are you finding difficult about it, exactly?

 

Many people feel at first they can't do it, but you have to look at why you want to do it and focus on this as your goal. And it's not about doing anything - it's literally about not doing something, ie. getting in contact with them. All it requires is willpower.

 

What is your goal here? Are you trying NC to get your ex back, or to move on, or a bit of both?

[In the Dark]

You find it difficult because you want to person who dumped you.

 

You want to be either attention because you feel if you do not remind them of you, they will want someone to do them without even the slightest thought of you actually loving them.

 

Sorry but love does not conquer all.

 

If someone wants to have sex with someone else they will because the person who is having sex with them is wanting the same thing so will beouching for the goal.

 

If you are relying on NC to make tehm comeback....don't put your money on it.

 

If you are going NC do somehow move on then....the chances are good.

[Sadman84]

Think of your addiction to your ex as toxic. Also, consider it an addiction.

 

Now, think if an alcoholic asked "If I stop drinking, will I really be able to get over my addiction?"

 

Well, if you don't stop drinking, you will never see clarity about the situation. So the first step is to stop, get your head right and you'll start to realize things you did not when you were in that situation.

 

After some time you'll realize you don't need to your ex to fill any voids, but you have your sanity back and you can begin to move on.

 

It is hard at first, but you'll go some time and realize your ex is not going to contact you, you'll stop checking your phone and emails for contact from them. And you will resume your normal life.

 

I promise, it is the only way. I waited till my ex found someone else before I changed my number and blocked her on facebook. I wish I was strong enough to do it while we were still in shambles and I KNEW she wanted to move on, but had not found somone else yet so she'd call me and hang out with me.

 

In the end, the thing I regret is that I did not walk away with my head up high, i walked away rejected and crawling back for more.

 

Lean on your friends and family for that love, vent on here. I started making music, i bought a piano and taught myself how to play. Those few hours a day I would be learning about music I would not think of my ex. Now almost 3 years later I can play piano, the guitar, and I sing. I have a full recording studio for my computer where I make songs, and girls LOVE it.

 

I also started excersising and I lost about 80 pounds. I worked on my social skills as well. I am a much stronger and confident person than I was the day I met my ex and its all cause I took that worry and energy I put in her and I channeled it to myself and bettering my life.

 

There is also a saying that "If you truly love something, you have to let it go, if it comes back then it is right for you, if it does not, then it was never yours to love."

 

Remember that.

[Italianchic110]

Thank you all. The reason I want to go NC is because i want to move on and get over my ex. Even if he was to come back, I know we shouldn't be together for several reasons. But I can't help remembering everything that was good and how abruptly things ended.

I want to leave the relationship with as much pride as I can.

[HouseKitten]

In that case, yes NC is the way forward. Trying to be friends only works in exceptional cases, and if you want to keep your pride then stopping yourself from having the chance to make a fool of yourself is the best way.

 

Good luck! A lot of people start journals here if they have a hard time at first.