Why can't he really open up to me?

[Salicia]

Hello. For the past few days, I have been feeling lost and confused about him. I generally know that he's interested in me romantically. He's tried to kiss me, but he held back. He always wants to be around me, always want to know every little thing about me and he's always checking me out. But recently, I have been trying to open myself up to him more to show him that I like him as well and since then, he's been acting really standoffish. For example, this weekend we attended a function together and he wanted to be with me but didn't want to do anything with me. I feel like he's trying to close off his true feelings for me and I'm not sure why. He's single and he's not involved with anyone else so I know that's not the problem. I'm just trying to figure out why he's scared about opening up to me? I have my theories but I would really appreciate any other theories that others have.

 

Any thoughts are welcomed. Thanks.

[YakasJourney]

There could be many reasons, not necessarily related to you.

[Jake]

The information you give helps somewhat but dating is complex (unfortunately) so there could be any number of reasons why he isn't opening up to you.

 

He could've been burned bad by an EX in the past, maybe he's oblivious to you opening up yourself in that way or maybe he's not opening up because he's just shy.

 

Probably the best thing to do would be to talk to him about it. Although I personally don't know how I'd go about that since I'm shy.

 

 

-Jake

[Salicia]

Yeah, I do have some kind of feeling that it's not necessarily me that he's having issues with. I kind of thought he was a little weird when we first met but if it's the fear of getting hurt, I had gotten hurt too in the past so I know we can relate to one another in that department.

 

I also have the feeling that it may be more than him getting hurt in the past so I'm also aware that these other problems can exist as well.

 

It's just hard for me right now in dealing with him because I used to be really shy and I used to be scared of expressing my feelings toward people a lot in the past. I'm constantly trying to get out of my shell and the one time I try, I get pushed aside.

 

I guess it's hard work in trying to create a relationship with a shy person when you're shy as well.

[Wilbur]

For some people, shyness approaches being a phobia, similar to a fear of flying or of heights. They want a relationship, closeness, and intimacy, but at the same time, they fear it.

[sidehop]

A lot of shy guys will probably find such social gathering intimidating let alone with a girl he likes. I wouldn't think negative of it, perhaps you guys can go to public places and areas with less people or more private next time

[Salicia]

A lot of shy guys will probably find such social gathering intimidating let alone with a girl he likes. I wouldn't think negative of it, perhaps you guys can go to public places and areas with less people or more private next time

 

Yeah, that's what I'm hoping anyways. I do have to see him Saturday because we are attending a function together. I really don't know what to expect but I want to gauge his actions before I make my move this time considering he's the one that backed off. He's usually fine when there's more people around (i.e. social gathering) so I might have a chance to reel him in this time