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1 Year Later... (But Now I Have A Tiny Problem)


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It is now, officially, been one year since my ex and I broke up. It was a very messy break-up and it has turned my world upside down and turned inside out. I have lost friends, hopes, and dreams. But in exchange, I've made wonderful friends on here and on another forum. While they are all online friends, you and them have made me happy regardless and I'm very thankful for that...

 

My ex and I just had our closure 2 days ago (after over 5 months of NC on my part to which he broke twice in it, one directly and the other indirectly) and I do feel much better now than I have ever been. At least the loose ties have been fixed between us and we can move on peacefully without any resentments or bad blood.

 

However... I can't shake this weird feeling I have now. I feel like I'm still missing something in my life, and that's a best friend and a lover, which was my ex at the time. I'm not one to cause destruction in someone's relationship, (I don't know if my ex is with someone else or not, but there's a good chance that it's a yes.) I can't help but feel empty and wish I could at least see him. I don't know if I'm really over him or just feeling lonely and unloved... But I don't know what to do to replace these feelings. I feel like I have this weird absent limb syndrome and it feels terrible...

 

What should I do? I'm not in a good position to even be dating right now because I have so many things I have to do in my life to prepare myself for another person. I need money (I know guys usually pay but I rather go Dutch and give him some gifts in return as well!), offline friends (LOL!), a job and hobbies (to keep myself busy and not get overly obsessed with my new boyfriend), and to get into cosmetology school.

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What should I do? I'm not in a good position to even be dating right now because I have so many things I have to do in my life to prepare myself for another person. I need money (I know guys usually pay but I rather go Dutch and give him some gifts in return as well!), offline friends (LOL!), a job and hobbies (to keep myself busy and not get overly obsessed with my new boyfriend), and to get into cosmetology school.

 

I dunno verti, I think you are doing really well and you should carry on as you are. Lots of comments about guys in brackets there but you should be doing those things for you. The rest will just happen. Yadda Yadda? Yea maybe but it'll happen.. when you least expect it. At least it's only a tiny problem! That's a good way to view it. Tiny problems are manageable.

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I dunno verti, I think you are doing really well and you should carry on as you are. Lots of comments about guys in brackets there but you should be doing those things for you. The rest will just happen. Yadda Yadda? Yea maybe but it'll happen.. when you least expect it. At least it's only a tiny problem! That's a good way to view it. Tiny problems are manageable.

 

I feel like my life is a nothing but a blank piece of paper right now. If I get a boyfriend now, he'll be MY ENTIRE FRIGGING WORLD AND THE UNIVERSE and get obsessed and needy of him physically, emotionally, financially, etc. and will get dumped immediately by him.

 

I want to put on a few things on my blank piece of paper so that the new boyfriend will fit in nicely and while he'll be important to me, I'll have other priorities in my life as well.

 

Sigh.

 

EDIT: On another note, I have just submitted a job application to a new store that's opening up 10 days from now, so I do have a good feeling about getting hired. I'll be doing more job applications online later tonight.

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Come up to Canada I am lonely as well lol j/k. But I do know where you are coming from. It is scary how sometimes lonely feelings can be mistaken with love. I myself ain't even sure what I feel for my ex anymore...

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do what you have to do....you have come this far, you will go even further...its been a helluva ride for you but you over the worst.

 

you are nearly at the top of the mountain and theres a beautiful view waiting to take your breath away

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Come up to Canada I am lonely as well lol j/k. But I do know where you are coming from. It is scary how sometimes lonely feelings can be mistaken with love. I myself ain't even sure what I feel for my ex anymore...

 

That's exactly it! It's like... I guess in every way I'm happy with myself and I'm excited for the future and who I will become, but then if I sit or lay down for a few minutes, my mind goes to him and our memories and I feel a bit sad. I mean, I don't cry over him anymore, I don't have this broken heart feeling anymore, nor do I see him with rose-tinted glasses anymore. He's another person that happened to prance into my life in the past... But now I feel like, I am so lonely and desperate, that I'm seeing the past as comforting right now.

 

I highly doubt that I love my ex anymore. Because when I don't think of him, it's like he doesn't even exist anymore. I can laugh again and be happy without him. I feel like my old, normal self again before I met him...

 

do what you have to do....you have come this far, you will go even further...its been a helluva ride for you but you over the worst.

 

you are nearly at the top of the mountain and theres a beautiful view waiting to take your breath away

 

Thank you, this is really sweet. Man, if I get this job, I'll be on Cloud 9. I need a spring wardrobe!!!

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hey nay worries ....jus really really go for this job, visualise yourself working there, its worth it just to geta new wardrobe after all

 

Tell me about it! I was shopping online in my favorite clothing store and picked out the stuff I wanted in the "shopping bag" and it came up a total of $602!!! So yeah, I really do need this job!

 

Just keep working on yourself. That's the best thing to do at these junctures.

 

As for the loneliness, just do what I do and name your pillow and cuddle with it.

 

I will, thank you!

 

Pfft, that's silly but I'll try that! XD

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Thank you, top bloke, I really do deserve better. I just feel a bit stuck, is all...

I understand..it is time to get out about and new people will come into your life. I feel you just need to take those first baby steps to get some momentum in your life...you have a new beggining..a new start Youll be fine...

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Now I am just sad that you refused my invitation to come up to Canada LOL joking lol.

 

You will be fine, we are in the same boat, I remember the old times with my ex, and it is really a feeling of nostalgia. But I dunno, she is a good girl, maybe in the future. She is the type of person I would consider giving a second chance to, which is something I don't consider for any of my other ex's.

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I understand..it is time to get out about and new people will come into your life. I feel you just need to take those first baby steps to get some momentum in your life...you have a new beggining..a new start Youll be fine...

 

Yeah, that's what I'm doing. Baby steps. The first step is to try and get a job. Gather up some money. Then buy myself clothes, shoes, and other stuff to revamp my entire look. Then talk to parents about getting into the cosmetology school in the Fall (September of this year), go there, make new friends there, etc etc.

 

I pretty much have it all planned out in my head, haha!

 

Now I am just sad that you refused my invitation to come up to Canada LOL joking lol.

 

You will be fine, we are in the same boat, I remember the old times with my ex, and it is really a feeling of nostalgia. But I dunno, she is a good girl, maybe in the future. She is the type of person I would consider giving a second chance to, which is something I don't consider for any of my other ex's.

 

Cananda sounds very cold, too cold for my liking!

 

Yeah, I think that's what I'm suffering; Nostalgia. Perhaps if I made new friends and date around, the feeling will naturally fade away.

 

Hey, if you think you should give your ex another go, go ahead. Life's too short!

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Cananda sounds very cold, too cold for my liking!

 

Yeah, I think that's what I'm suffering; Nostalgia. Perhaps if I made new friends and date around, the feeling will naturally fade away.

 

Hey, if you think you should give your ex another go, go ahead. Life's too short!

 

lol... Hey... I warm Canada up without a problem ( Being lonely to the point of flirting over ENA forums is quite funny and pathetic LOL

 

And well I would give her a second chance, just not now, bad timing for both of us. Besides I don't think she wants it right now either lol, who knows maybe in the future.

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