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Absolutely CRAP at sex but I think I know why


perth_man87

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Hi, I'm 17 and I've been going out with my girlfriend for about 6 months. We have had sex a fair few times now- more than you could count on your hands and feet- but I don't really know what to do. We were both virgins the first time so it was all new for both of us and it was ok for me to be bad at it.

 

But lately I have noticed she doesn't seem to be in it at all. I think I know why. I have a kind of... problem. When I'm alone with her I'm always turned on. Like ALL THE TIME! I mean I don't even know if I'm meant to need foreplay or something (as you can see I have no idea ) because just lying down with her watching TV with clothes on gets me REALLY hard. I have no idea why this is and it's really annoying. She comments on it a fair bit and I'm pretty sure she doesn't like it. I have no idea how to control it, and because I'm so turned on I can't help but want to touch her ect ect until she "gives in" and then we have sex. Those are pretty much her words. She thinks that its easier just to let me have my way with her, get it out of the way and then I will calm down.

 

Does anyone have any ideas to help me out here? I don't want to do anything wrong by her- I don't WANT to be like that anymore. But I have no idea how.

 

And another thing is the actual sex. She's pretty much a starfish. We have tried a few different positions- missionary, doggy, spoons, that sort of thing- but as I said before it really feels like I'm not doing anything SHE likes, it's just something to get out of the way. What can I do? Do I go harder? Do I go slower? Do I let my hands roam free? Do I talk dirty to her? (Have absolutely no idea how to do this it's not really my nature)

 

I've tried eating her out and finally got the hang of it the other night (before I didn't like the taste- that night I liked it so much she came 3 times before she could pull me off her but sex is something we should both enjoy and i don't think she does at all.

 

Please, any help would be good.

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Do more of this, Pdog. She'll come around.

 

I've tried eating her out and finally got the hang of it the other night (before I didn't like the taste- that night I liked it so much she came 3 times before she could pull me off her)

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Don't be hard on yourself at 17 it is impossible to be great in the sack.

 

First she feels used that is obvious by her statement. I know this might seem hard but make it so sometimes it's not about you. Just make out with her and stop there. Or go down on her and if you can make her cum, stop there. Give her massages that don't result in sex. Go a few days without it and making it just about her.

 

Read up on how to better perorm oral sex on her. There is so much to learn at your age (hell I'm still learning at 34).

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You're a young man whose hormones are active. It's normal. What you have to learn is how to be more in control of it around your girl. The best way to do that is to masturbate before you see her. It should do the trick in keeping you a bit more calm.

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I hope so- maybe it's not my fault? She's not getting into it as much because she wants me to eat her out first?

 

I could do that, but the kind of disturbing thing is I liked the taste the MOST that first night I ate her out, and that was after we had had sex with no condom on, so I was tasting myself. Is that weird? I mean I know it sounds weird to me, but it's not incest or anything and if it makes it easier for me to pleasure her does it really matter? Btw I'm not sure if that was even the reason, it could of just been her taste at the time.

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Don't be hard on yourself at 17 it is impossible to be great in the sack.

 

First she feels used that is obvious by her statement. I know this might seem hard but make it so sometimes it's not about you. Just make out with her and stop there. Or go down on her and if you can make her cum, stop there. Give her massages that don't result in sex. Go a few days without it and making it just about her.

 

Read up on how to better perorm oral sex on her. There is so much to learn at your age (hell I'm still learning at 34).

 

Yeah I'll try it's just hard because we still go to school together and we don't see each other much. I'll try to tone it down a bit- I've been getting better at that lately anyway. Thanks.

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You might not need foreplay but she might. I think you need to spend some more time trying to get her into the mood so that she is more reciprocal. Spend some time cuddling, touching and kissing her gently, on the neck can work wonders ;-).

 

And maybe, if you can, you should refrain from having sex sometimes so that she doesn't feel that your relationship is all about sex ... also, that way it she may look forward to it more. You really don't want her to think of it as a chore.

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I hope so- maybe it's not my fault? She's not getting into it as much because she wants me to eat her out first?

 

I could do that, but the kind of disturbing thing is I liked the taste the MOST that first night I ate her out, and that was after we had had sex with no condom on, so I was tasting myself. Is that weird? I mean I know it sounds weird to me, but it's not incest or anything and if it makes it easier for me to pleasure her does it really matter? Btw I'm not sure if that was even the reason, it could of just been her taste at the time.

 

Although I am not a fan of the last thing you said,

 

I think that everyone has been giving you pretty sound advice. You are very hormonal right now and the best rhing for you to do before you see your hot gf each time is to take a little time to yourself before you go pick her up or see her. It also helps relieve some of those "butterflies" that you may be getting when around her lol. I remember being your age. I had to walk around constantly with it "tucked" behind my belt. No worries there, perfectly natural and it has not stopped since

 

Any who, Yes! EAT HER OUT! EAT HER OUT GOOD!

 

You do not have to do this every single time but it is a good habit to get into. I personally LOVE to have my GF cum at least once each time we have sex so if I know that my boy is not "up" to an all nighter, I make sure I start off down below to make sure she gets hers.

 

Over time, you will get better and better at sex with your GF. You have to try different angles in different positions and READ/STUDY/LIVE her body movements. Her body, mouth and facial expressions, although sometimes funny, will tell you exactly how it is making her feel.

 

Here is a little tip....

 

When having sex with my GF, or ANY other woman for that matter, I like to try a bunch of different things with her. I will keep doing different things until I find one that she REALLY likes. Once I see her start to moan a bit, move/squirm a bit or simply start scratching/petting me, I will stop doing that (remember what it was that I was doing) and then start searching for something else that she will really enjoy. I will do that new thing until she starts to really enjoy it and then move onto something else.

 

By doing this, you will have built up a LOT of tension inside of her and you will have been able to take ample breaks in between so you do not cum as quickly. You do not have to be inside of your GF the whole time you are having sex!

 

Once you have mastered her favorite position, you will be able to start building her orgasms up and eventually be able to cum at the same time as her.

 

Good luck. Hope this helps!

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UHm I don't know how you have sex , but try to make her feel special.

During intercourse.. kiss her body, touch her in different ways, explore every little thing about her, try to rub her clit same time.

Make her go on top so she has to be more active..

 

Does she moan? Thats always a good indicator to see if you are going fast/slow enough for her

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You might not need foreplay but she might. I think you need to spend some more time trying to get her into the mood so that she is more reciprocal. Spend some time cuddling, touching and kissing her gently, on the neck can work wonders ;-).

 

And maybe, if you can, you should refrain from having sex sometimes so that she doesn't feel that your relationship is all about sex ... also, that way it she may look forward to it more. You really don't want her to think of it as a chore.

Exactly.

 

She DOESN'T want it like you do - she is female. You have to share what YOU want with what SHE wants or she just feels used. Talking, cuddling, just holding hands.

 

Urges are just that - urges. They don't HAVE to be acted on. Time to learn some self-control. You can't just go through life doing it whenever you feel like it; if you're going to act like a grownup and have sex, you have to act like a grownup and be responsible.

 

I assume she's on birth control?

 

If not, shame on you for putting her at such risk.

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I wasn't trying to be, I was trying to point out that, along with a sex drive, comes responsibility. Six months, over 20 times, is a lot for high school students. I'm glad he cares about her, but I've seen way too many high school romances ruined when the girl gets pregnant, because she was afraid the boy would leave her if she said no to sex, and she gets stuck raising a kid and having a messed up future.

 

I just want him to realize that there's more to this than just being happy. This isn't World of Warcraft or something we're talking about - this is potential pregnancy, possible lost dreams of college or careers, and a high school girl who - based on what my D19 has told me about girls today - is just possibly doing it simply because he wants it and she thinks she has to - and no, the girls DON'T tell the boys that they don't want to - they're too afraid of losing the guy; so they just do it.

 

I hope pip dog has a wonderful relationship with his girlfriend. But if he is seeing signs that she's not into it...well, then she's probably not into it. Just because he has more hormones than he knows what to do with doesn't mean he has to act on them. My daughter's best friend was having sex just like pip dog, in love, nothing would tear them apart, meant to be together...until the baby came. Now he's a high school dropout, from trying to do the right thing by her, from her being too stressed out by being a high school mother and making his life hell...

 

All of which could have been prevented if she had gone on birth control.

 

We all have our opinions; I was just trying to point out the elephant in the room that no one else brought up.

 

And btw, the way I described the way she is possibly feeling - used, etc. - IS the way many females feel when males push sex on them. It just is. And females DON'T typically biologically have the same drive guys do, so they typically DON'T want it as much. If he really cares for her, he needs to understand that.

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Okay, this is a much more reasonable, balanced response than your previous reply. And I don't think he's pushing sex on her as much as they're having sex together and yes, I agree that I sincerely hope they're being safe as well.

 

You ladies, though, my goodness sure are a lot of work. Cripes.

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I'm going to echo turnera just a bit here...if the OP's girl friend is "giving in" because he's all over her and she just figures it's easier to do that than ignore his groping her- of course, she's not going to be into it. I understand raging hormones and all, but seriously...he needs to tone it down a little.

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And I don't think he's pushing sex on her as much as they're having sex together
See, that's the thing, though. How many threads are there here and everywhere else, where the male is moaning because he doesn't get enough?

 

Why is that?

 

Because SHE doesn't have the same investment as HE does. What do they say? That a guy thinks about it every 7 seconds or something? For the girl, it's more like every 7 hours? It's just biological, that she doesn't typically want it like the guy does.

 

So to say that if they're doing it, she must want it...IMO is a gross overassumption. Especially for a high school girl.

 

Later, in their 20s, sure, all bets are off. But teenage girls are still figuring out who they are, and having sex doesn't typically register in a good way in a girl's self esteem.

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See, that's the thing, though. How many threads are there here and everywhere else, where the male is moaning because he doesn't get enough?

 

Why is that?

 

Because SHE doesn't have the same investment as HE does. What do they say? That a guy thinks about it every 7 seconds or something? For the girl, it's more like every 7 hours? It's just biological, that she doesn't typically want it like the guy does.

 

So to say that if they're doing it, she must want it...IMO is a gross overassumption. Especially for a high school girl.

 

Later, in their 20s, sure, all bets are off. But teenage girls are still figuring out who they are, and having sex doesn't typically register in a good way in a girl's self esteem.

 

I don't mean to go * * * for tat here, but he's just as entitled to feel as he does as she is. I'm not saying that she's wrong for feeling how she does, however that might be, but it can't just be the lady holding the vag strings here 100% of the time. A vagina is not a golden egg. Compromise on both sides is indicated here.

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Sorry Hex but we are talking about a 17 (?) year old girl. She has every right to hold her "vag" strings.

 

 

 

OK, first off you need to stop pushing sex on her. Thats the best way to turn someone off you. It makes you feel like your main value for them is your * * * * * , and that can lead to one hell of a lot of resentment.

 

Try masturbating before you see her.

 

Secondly, in regard to the sex thing, it's entirely possible that she's still not ready for sex despite her starting to have it. Do you think you could back off a little and see how she responds - by starting to initiate by herself? Ultimately, she may not know herself what she likes (I know that sounds weird but women are surrounded these days with messages about being hot so they do things they consider hot without having any feeling behind them.) you have to let her lead on this. Let her experiment and see what she's into. If you push her, it won't end well.

 

 

Summation: relax, don't pressure her, let her lead, masturbate more. If she were older my advice would be different, but she's not so it's not.

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If they weren't high school students, and what they are doing wasn't, I believe, illegal or at the very least frowned upon, I would agree with you. Generally, I DO agree with you. But not with minors. If he were a day over 18, he could go to jail for it. Not trying to be mean here, or scare you away, pip dog. I'm sorry I threadjacked your thread for my moralizing. Just be careful, ok?

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Sounds like your jumping the gun on her everytime. Everyone is right when they say you don;t need to have sex every time you guys hang out. Like others mentioned, masturbate before she comes over, it goes a long way. It also sounds like your not giving her enough, if any foreplay. Sex for females is more emotional than guys, she HAS to be in the mood to enjoy it to the fullest. You need some foreplay my man. And trust me, you can tell the difference just spending ten minutes getting her riled up before having sex. Don;t ask her to have sex, just start some foreplay, and either she will start responding positive towards it or she just doesn't want to have sex at that moment.

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Sorry Hex but we are talking about a 17 (?) year old girl. She has every right to hold her "vag" strings.

 

Summation: relax, don't pressure her, let her lead, masturbate more. If she were older my advice would be different, but she's not so it's not.

 

Absolutely. P-dawg is at his sexual peak right now...his gf won't reach hers for another eighteen years! The OP admits that he's horny whenever they're together, and he basically pressures her til she gives in. She's just not going to be "into" it the way the OP is going to be into it. OP, wipe one out before you go to see your gf, and be a tad more genteel.

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I'll try and do all that you guys have said, thanks. It's just hard since it's new to me, and then we only get to be alone every few weeks so it's hard to keep doing something good going since there's so much time between it. And then, since we are in year 12, our weekends aren't as free as they used to be. But thanks anyway.

 

ok I just saw page 2 of this thread after I posted so here's my edit

 

-It's very true about high school pregnancy (there's a girl in our year at school) and we both take birth control very seriously.

 

-I want to actually say thanks for what a couple of you said about me coming onto her- I never really thought of it from that point of view before (that's my bad foresight and probably part of the nature of the feelings that go through me [just guessing here but it sounds right in my head] ). It actually alarmed me a fair bit. I never thought of it as me "pressuring her" into having sex- nor did I think that her not wanting to was something bad either- it was just the nature of my raging hormones that makes it hard to control. But maybe this is the shock to the system I need? I will seriously consider that.

 

-In Australia you can actually have sex after the age of 16, and 18 for homosexual sex- so that's ok (she is actually a month older than me too

 

- I think next time I will try to let her make the first move, and that doesn't involve just general touching either, I will try to hold out for as long as I possibly can and only reciprocate what she is doing- I won't go further.

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Sounds great! Please just remember most girls your age really aren't into it, and most guys your age don't know how to make it worth the girl's time - you're only concerned about your outcome. She doesn't get her side taken care of the same way you do, so you have to invest time in going slowly and exploring HER side of things, to get her to be interested. Right now, she's likely just doing it because she knows you want to.

 

Lots of times, all a girl wants is to sit on a couch, and snuggle. THAT means love to a girl, with no pressure for more. If you can show her that you won't try something every time, she'll be more receptive. So, for every two nights you just watch tv and snuggle, you can fit in one time for what YOU want. Otherwise, she'll stop wanting to touch you at all, to avoid it turning into more of what you want and less of what she wants. Make sense?

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Thanks for being so understanding it's just new to me. I'll do my best to do all that Just by the way since the topic's open have you, or anyone really had a boyfriend (or girlfriend who was..... well I suppose you would call it sex obsessed?

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