Now what's up with her?

[wish4me]

We are now officially newlyweds, not even a month. We changed our wedding plans to accommodate his Mom, but it seems as though she's been resentful and bitter lately.

 

I'm trying not to dwell on it too much. This past weekend she made the comment "well i know he loves you dearly and will put you first.. and that's ok.. its ok..." Well, I'm listening to all of this, thinking, "if its okkkkk, then why are you making this comment".

 

My husband lived by himself in his own house for approximately 3 years. On Sunday she had the lunch prepared and I commented how pretty her dining table looked. She told me for the second time that "the tablecloth was the same one used at our reception (a family get together) on the table we were supposed to of sat at, but didn't! How the hell were we to know? Then she tried to cover it up by saying "but that's ok.. its ok" WELL, if its ok, why bring it up.

 

I haven't mentioned it to my husband. I'm wondering if the reality of us being married is truly sinking in. Also, they will call us at least every other night asking us to eat supper with them. We are newlyweds and would prefer to spend some alone time together. Thoughts? Perhaps things will settle down here soon.

[BCC123]

i wouldnt know from experience but im guessing that its just a typical mother and her jealousy that you "took" her son away from her.

 

was he babied by her alot? she seems to want to take care of him alot, with the dinners and what not.

 

she should respect that her son truly loves you and therefore she should be happy for you guys.

[curious11]

She is probably afraid that she is going to lose him.Your husband should have a talk with her if he somewhat feels the same way you do. He should explain to her that its a new chapter in his life, and you two need time for yourselves to start a family.. and that no matter what, she will always be his mother, and he will always be there for her.

[Cuppedia]

It sounds as if she's extremely sad, probably because she's under the wrong impression that her son can only love one person.

 

That "he will put you first" comment shows how misguided her perspective is, she hasn't realized this isn't about who is more important because you are both equally that; just in different ways of course.

 

I agree that your husband should talk to her, she's suffering for no reason really.

 

And, personally I don't think meeting them for supper a few times a month could affect your new life, but if your husband is bothered by this then he definitely should let her know that, at least for a while, they shouldn't expect him to see much of him.

[wish4me]

Yes, his mom did and I guess still does have the tendency to treat him like her baby. After all he has helped them, looked after them, tremendously with repair work etc.

 

She has become agitated by the fact that we have not yet had his sister over to visit. We have told his sister, face to face that she doesn't need an invite to stop by and visit us. I jokingly told his sister, "just give me about an hour notice to square things up after the kids". However, his Mom commented that SHE felt that we needed to invite them because she (his mom) wants for the sister to see all the cool stuff we have done around the house. I guess, she's trying to be the co-ordinator, of all events. I don't know.. She has brought this up in conversation more than once. Sometimes I feel like replying "Well, lets put a free ad in the paper for an open house this Sunday".. But I just can't do that and hurt her feelings. But at the same time I'm not going to do what SHE wants us to do on her schedule.. Make sense?

[girlfriday]

I'm not married but my bf's mom is the same way. She has 3 sons, no husband so she placed a strong attachment to her own sons in that way. My bf is the eldest and he has taken care of his family after his dad left and she feels like no girl is good enough for him. I get along with her fine but I do sense that she wishes I was a "better" person.....even tho I brought her Vday flowers and spent Vday withher because she was alone..............

 

There's not much you can do. I encourage my bf to call his mom more often and for us to see her so she feels she's part of our life too.