Jump to content

A day in the life of Mama Metro (metrogirl)


metrogirl
 Share

Recommended Posts

Where is his family when he has needed them the last couple of months with his failing health? Has his daughter took time out of her life to go to doctor appts with him? Has she stayed up late at night worrying herself sick about him? Has she researched how to make his diet better, what foods he can and can't have, and then on top of working a full time job, being a grandmother, and working over time, finds the time to make sure he gets the right amount of food by making his lunches for him? Where has SHE been these last few months?

 

You have been taking care of this man, making sure he stays healthy and doing everything you can without taking time out for yourself sometimes. When has his daughter or family done that?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Replies 3k
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

They haven't but at the same time I don't know if he fully shared how sick he is with his family. I know they know he has diabetes and high blood pressure and kidney 'problems' but I can't be sure they know the extent of what is going on.

 

He said he chooses me, that he wants his life with me but it doesn't take away the fact that I feel responsible and I am having a hard time dealing with this now.

 

He told me that his sister in all likely hood is using drugs again, that she was already unstable but if she is using then she would be really off her rocker.

 

You know, I went back on my postings on facebook, first I don't know how she could see anything because I have my privacy settings for friends only but whatever, I went back and looked to see if I could find what she was talking about and all I see is how I talk about spending time with him, how I am making him healthy food, I posted about a relatively new technique they use at UCLA to make blood more compatible so non matching donors can still donate and I was super excited about that because I really want to be his donor. I didn't find anything where I alledgely disrespected him. He said he didn't believe her anyway and I told him I would show him all my postings so he could for himself because my natural instinct is to prove myself when I have been accused of something shady.

 

I have a bad headache and I have to be here until 10:00 tomorrow morning.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

That in itself says that he trusts you more than them in this regard. You have done nothing wrong, I have seen your fb posts and there has never been anything like she said. She's just trying to get under your skin.

 

Well it worked, she's under my skin now. She did it when we first started going out too. She was pregnant at the time and on drugs and kept calling me telling me that she was going to kill me, going to beat my @ss, she called other people that she thought were friends of mine and told them the same thing. You would have thought that she was the ex flipping out but noooo this is his sister, a grown woman of 30 something.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Well it worked, she's under my skin now. She did it when we first started going out too. She was pregnant at the time and on drugs and kept calling me telling me that she was going to kill me, going to beat my @ss, she called other people that she thought were friends of mine and told them the same thing. You would have thought that she was the ex flipping out but noooo this is his sister, a grown woman of 30 something.

 

then yes, she is clearly unstable. He is with you. Although, I can see now why you would feel more comfortable being his legal wife if anything were to happen to him. His family would clearly try to cut you out.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

then yes, she is clearly unstable. He is with you. Although, I can see now why you would feel more comfortable being his legal wife if anything were to happen to him. His family would clearly try to cut you out.

 

That is exactly what I had been trying to tell him for the longest time. He never really got it until recently. I would say "you know if something happens to you, your family is going to make sure that I am not even allowed at your funeral" and he would always dismiss it saying something like "I would never let your family keep me away from your funeral". Okay, but we aren't talking about my family, we are talking about your family that clearly hates me with a burning passion. Now it's not an issue because he signed an advanced medical directive that leaves me in charge of his health care and his remains should he pass away. Doesn't it suck that this is what it has come down to? I will never to get to know his grandson, I will never be able to comfort him should there be a death in the family. When his nieces passed away (the crazy sister's kids) he was crushed and I couldn't be there for him at the funerals. This is just so dysfunctional on so many levels. He still says that we can have the life we want, that he doesn't answer to them and this makes me feel bad in a sense. I think it's harder for me to grasp because I have a very close bond with my children and my children love him, my grandchildren adore him.

 

This is clearly affecting my ability to work tonite. I should have been out of the office and reading the bus yard almost an hour ago and I can't seem to get out of my chair to start my work.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

She was pregnant at the time and on drugs and kept calling me telling me that she was going to kill me, going to beat my @ss, she called other people that she thought were friends of mine and told them the same thing. You would have thought that she was the ex flipping out but noooo this is his sister, a grown woman of 30 something.

 

WOW- and she called YOU a "hoodrat"? She sounds like she exhibits the behavior of one. What a moron.

 

Sorry you have to deal with this. Her brother needs to continue to keep her in check and tell her to shut up.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

He called me to check on me and of course to wish me a good morning. He was really trying to drive the point home with me that he loves me and he isn't going to let his family manipulate me or him into not being together. He said that he was going to call his son later (his sister is his son's favorite aunt, they are extremely close) and tell him that if he has any intentions of getting involved and trying to manipulate then we was cutting him off too. I told him that would be a very bad idea as he just became a grandfather for the first time and I would hate for his son to take away Jesse's grandbaby. This whole thing is just a big mess. Why can't they just leave well enough alone?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

He said that he was going to call his son later (his sister is his son's favorite aunt, they are extremely close) and tell him that if he has any intentions of getting involved and trying to manipulate then we was cutting him off too.

Instead of him framing it as being a choice HE is making between his family and you....which I think is fueling them more.....I think he needs to keep his own cool and approach this assertively and calmly.

 

He needs to get them all together in the same place and say something like: " Look we need to settle the score here. Metrogirl did not break up this home. I made the choice to move on. I have chose to date her. I care about her immensely ,she is going to be in my life. She has been taking wonderful care of me and you have no right or grounds to make the immature and rude accusations and attacks on her that you have been. My family is important to me and I love you all -but I will not tolerate you being disrespectful and rude to someone I care about. She has never treated any of you with disrespect. This is my choice and my life. If you want to be in my life you need to respect my choices. "

 

He needs to set the tone by his own example and stand "terra firma" and not add to or fuel their dramatic theatrical behavior.

 

By telling them that it is THEIR CHOICE about whether they accept his decisions and want to be in his life, they can't blame him and say he "cut them off" because of you. The ball is in their court. They will know what they need to do if they want a good relationship with him. They basically need to grow up and stop acting like a bunch of fools!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

It seems like the person they are truly angry at is their father. You are a scapegoat. I don't know what happened with Jesse's previous relationship but clearly the family isn't ready to come to terms with the fact that only Jesse and his ex are responsible for that. It's easier to put that on you.

 

There's nothing you can do to fix it, though. Jesse has to make it right on his own.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Thank you everyone for your kind words, he and I did talk more about it today and he is totally behind me and not real happy with how his family has acted. I feel somewhat better and just need to find a way to not let them get under my skin. Easier said than done but I will certainly try.

 

He had an appt with the cardiologist today and she diagnosed him with Diastolic Heart Failure, Chronic. She started him on a heart med that should help relax his heart and help pull some of the extra fluid out of him. She's also referred him back to the vascular lab to check his cartroid artery in his neck because she said she heard a 'whoosh' sound which makes her think there may be a blockage in that artery.

 

She doesn't seem to worried she just wants him to take his medicine everyday, continue to follow his restrictive diet and follow through with all of his appointments. Since he is not 100% and still somewhat weak he will probably stay off work for a while longer. He just got his disabilty payment so he's a little more relaxed right now and not worried about money.

 

Now I just need to unwind and try to get some sleep. I have been up for almost 25 hours.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Dinner last night gave me the worse case of indigestion and heartburn. I had no medicine at home so all I could do was lay there and suffer. I didn't get to sleep until 1 something this morning and woke up at 4:30 to get ready for work. As you can imagine I am dragging ass here at work and have already dozed off twice.

 

Dinner with the boyfriend last night was great, my daughter and her boyfriend went as well as my two best friends. I don't think I could have asked for a better time. I will have to post a picture later. Right now I just want to lay my head down on my desk and pray no one comes looking for me.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

We enjoyed a really nice weekend celebrating his birthday. Friday was dinner at a mexican restaurant with our two good friends, my daughter and her boyfriend. He felt alright but something was off and then yesterday he went to a friends house who was throwing a party for her husband and it was later revealed that the party was in fact for Jesse as well as her husband. (I will explain the 'something off') comment in the next post.) We saw people that we hadn't seen in quite some time (former coworkers). It was a nice event and I am so very jealous of her house, she has an amazing house. Sigh...

 

Anywho, here is a picture of the birthday boy getting his birthday kiss. LOL

 

image removed

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Ok so I made a reference above to him feeling something was off, let me explain that now. For the last three days, he has been battling extreme low sugar (hypoglycemia). It doesn't matter how well he eats, his sugar stays at a constant low so he has been feeling a little confused, irritated, and shaky. Last night he was feeling agitated and saying some rather unusual things (out of character) and I knew that his sugar was probably too low. I was right his sugar was 52, gave him some candy to bring it back up. He eventually fell asleep but was very restless and finally woke me at 2:00am saying he wasn't feeling well. I checked his vitals and sugar and his sugar had plemmeted to 34. So I gave him some more juice and a big stick (popsicle).

 

He got up and ate breakfast, still wasn't feeling well and had to eat more candy because his sugar was too low. I brought him lunch, grilled chicken with some pasta and some veggies (the right amount of protein and carbs for his diet). His sugar before lunch was 59, his sugar two hours after his meal today was 51. So he's going to call his doctor in the morning and see if he can get a same day appt to address the hypoglycemia. I'm hoping it's just a matter of changing his medicine or taking him off his diabetes medicine since his diabetes has been controlled now for sometime. I'm praying there's nothing new going on because honestly, I don't know how much more we can take. The heart failure diagnosis was enough for us, I don't want there to be something else going on as well.

 

He asked me if I was going to spend the night at his house again. This has been a frequent thing now where he wants me there almost every night. Jokingly I asked "should I just move in, I'm bringing the dog too" and I was expecting him to laugh it off but he said " I was thinking when I go back to work, I would start looking for a bigger place for us". Holy moly, I wasn't expecting that. Maybe he was just delirious from another low sugar episode. LOL

Link to comment
Share on other sites

YAY!!!

 

I'm sure it's just a side effect from a medicine. When one thing is off, everything is off.

 

I hope so Sherry. It just seems like we spend so much time and money going to the doctors, I would love to just have a month where there were no doctors visits.

 

I forgot to tell you guys a funny story from the other day. I laughed so hard, I thought I was gonna get a side pain.

 

We were waiting in the Cardiology dept for his appt. He has an upcoming appt next month with Gastroentrology for a Colonoscopy. He was supposed to get that done last month but he was in the hospital with pneumonia. Let me add that he has no clue whatsoever what the different departments are for....Cardiology, Nephrology, Gastro, etc..... so I usually just tell him, the heart doctor or the stomach doctor or the kidney doctor. So we are waiting to get called and he asks me in a very innocent tone "is this the place where they are going to do things to my @ss?" (meaning the colonscopy) I started laughing so hard, I thought I was going to die. LMAO

Link to comment
Share on other sites

So we are waiting to get called and he asks me in a very innocent tone "is this

the place where they are going to do things to my @ss?" (meaning the

colonscopy) I started laughing so hard, I thought I was going to die.

LMAO

 

^LOL....too funny. There were so many jokes you could have made about that....where would you start? lol

 

He made it sound like it was some fetish community gathering. ROFLMAO

Link to comment
Share on other sites

^LOL....too funny. There were so many jokes you could have made about that....where would you start? lol

 

He made it sound like it was some fetish community gathering. ROFLMAO

 

Right? LMAO... It was truly epic.

 

I forgot to tell that story to my son. My son says some of the most off the wall things to Jesse in an attempt to make him laugh, he would have ran with the whole thing.

 

Actually that same day, my son was at my house when we got there and promptly greeted Jesse by saying "Hey it's aquaman"! Jesse didn't get it, I was like "babe, it's because you are filled with fluid".... "Ohhhh" was his response. LOL

Link to comment
Share on other sites

hahaha aquaman

 

You remember I told you about Jess getting a fistula (vascular access in the wrist for dialysis) well it vibrates really hard.

 

My son is stupid (in a funny way). One day they were on the couch watching something, I forgot what. My son says "hey dude is your phone vibrating" and Jesse was about to say something and Adam says 'oh nevermind it's just your wrist". LMAO

 

Adam really is the only person that can make him laugh until he cries. I sure could use Adam's humor right now to boost Jesse's spirits.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Spent almost 3 hours at the doctors office this morning. God bless him, he is such a great doctor and so kind. Jesse made a same day appointment so we could get to the root of his hypoglycemia. When we got there the nurse checked his vitals, blood pressure was perfect 125/55! She then checked his sugar and it was 39, so she interupted the doctor with his other patient to let him know that we had a bit of a problem. Before I knew it, 2 nurses and the doctor were in our room tending to him. It took a few hours, 7 glucose pills and 2 packages of cookies to bring his sugar up to 79. He told Jesse to stop taking his diabetes medicine as his diabetes is now officially controlled. He was a bit concerned about why only suddenly Jesse started having the problems with the low sugar. He couldn't figure it out but does want us to keep on eye on the sugar of course. He gave Jesse the okay to eat more food today to get better control of his sugar.

 

The doctor then said that Jesse's weight had gone up 10lbs in just 6 days so I had to send an email to his Nephrologist to let him know. He is starting Jesse on another diuretic to help rid him of the extral fluid. His concern now is Jesse getting another case of pneumonia from the fluid overload. Right now his lungs sound ok but that could change in a matter of hours as we found out last time.

 

I had to rush to make it to work on time at 2:00. I get off at 10:00 and have to be back at 6:00am. I only did that because we have a dialysis class tomorrow at 2:00pm for three hours. It appears it's going to be one of those weeks where I am going nonstop, I am tired and I premenstrual and just overall weepy. Sigh..

 

Hopefully if all goes well this week, I will have a date with Jesse on Thursday to go eat sushi and watch The Hangover 2 and my best friends invited me to dinner on Friday. Not too sure about the girls dinner though, I'll play that one by ear. Actually I should really just learn to play everything by ear because I never know what's in store for me dealing with Jesse's health issues.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

 Share


×
×
  • Create New...